All and all my boyfriend and I are pretty equal about paying for things, you know, we buy eachother presents and pay for eachothers drinks and meals. And for the most part we go dutch. If one is paying for something for both of us that the other thinks is too expensive, we offer some cash to help out. But there is just one problem... Since my boyfriend and I started going together, he has been living on welfare. I have had a job for this time and virtually no outgoing expenditures like bills or rent. Gradually over the last 11 months we have been spending more time together and now I practically live at his house. When we used to go food shopping, I used to offer to pay for half sometimes because I knew he was struggling and I was eating the food too, which was alright when it was just necessities. But now he has a job, as is earning 3 times as much as I am, which is great. Except I'm financially sinking. At the start of our realtionship, I had $1000 + saved, and now I have $150 with all my university fees and books to pay for and I'm still paying for half the groceries, which is fair, but now most of the stuff we buy is things that arent for me. His lunches for work and his snacks, his protein drinks and multivitamins and other really expensive stuff. I cant really afford to be paying half of the grocery bill anymore, because my half has doubled. I really dont know what to do... any advice
I have a house 3 blocks from a college, your welcome any time! Seriously if he cares for you he should understand and be willing to assist you while you go thru college. You will then be earning more and then you both will benefit from it. Life together is team work, if he dont want to be with the team then be gone with his head, oops got a little mean there, lol.
Let him know that you're having financial issues, and that you can't afford to help out with his food right now to the extent that you have been. Let him know proud you are of him getting a great job, but you need to cut back on who much you contribute to the food fund until you get your own bills paid off and restore your savings account as long as you lay it out as a positive, non-blame sort of thing he should be fine with it
Wow you girls are really patient...or I've just been really lucky. I am just at a loss for words after reading the threads in here. I'm not at all trying to be judgemental but you are all rather attractive women and I just do not understand why in the world you would put up with this crap and why you would stay with insanley selfish men. Doesn't it turn you off? I would have no libido
From the sounds of it, maybe he doesn't know that she's financially strained. Or maybe doesn't realize what's going on. (Men can be awefully dense.) I think she should just talk about it with him and explain it to him, if she hasnt' already...instead of just dumping him.
Retro's posts about her 'square root of zero', ahem, partner are now getting notorious...... and not a little tedious. He isn't gonna dump her anytime soon because:- a) have you SEEN the asshole? He is astute enough to know not many women this attractive are this dumb, and gonna be his for the fucking. b) he knows, instinctively, she is naturally attracted to assholes like himself and he can do - or not do - anything he likes. c) he knows she doesn't think he's an asshole. Denial is better to her than facing the awful reality that she's fucked up bigtime with this clown. d) if, in the unlikely event, she finds a brain lying around spare somewhere, and dumps him, he will have had his fun in the sun, so to speak. He's already got kids from another dumbass - and realises if he starts to treat her like Retro's old boyfriend, ie. considerately - then that would be a disaster for him, so, guess what? He isn't going to change. Do not encourage her, fer Krissakes! The forum is the only place she can vent her frustrations about him, as she hasn't got the wherewithall to SEE the dire situation for what it is, despite god knows HOW many posts of good, clear advice from other forum members. She also hasn't got the balls to challenge him to his face. When the day comes, and it is all over, her reputation will be minus zero with her friends, although it is already far too late. Not even cool dudes will have anything to do with her, now. She will be an asshole's chick for the rest of her life. A sad tale, but one that is very, very common.
whoa...I agree but whoa. I don't get the whole being attracted to jerks thing...blahhhh. Why I mean why in the world would anyone stay with anyone who took away from their life rather than adding to it?
Maybe they don't know any better? Or possibly they feel it is the best they can do. Or...MAYBE...she likes the "bad boy" type. Not everyone has high self esteem, lyns, and I think that maybe that plays a part in this too.
I know and that's even more of a reason of why they should be with somone good. I know how insecure I am and accept it and in accepting it have some to realize that I need to be really careful who I'm with to ensure that my insecurities and issues don't grow. We all know better it's just that we pretend not to know because it's easier.
retro you should tell your boyfriend you are having financial trouble, if you were willing to help him out whilst he was on the dole, he should be considerate enough to lend you a hand this time too. being in a relationship is more than living together and having sex, its also about friendship, and friends help each other out. Thats my humble opinion
Silver I heaqr what youre saying, but i dont think its fair. This post isnt a negative one, and he hasnt done anything wrong here. He doesnt demand I pay the groceries, and never did, but now it is kind of an unspoken agreement. I was simply asking for advice about what I should do to save my finacial stability within the relationship. Sure there have been some really bad problems with our relationship, but generally, things are pretty good.
