Masturbation is just wrong. It is sad and pathetic.

Alright, seriously, you've hit the nail on the head there. God (supposing he/she/it exists) gives us genitals. Then god gives us arms, with hands, which are precisely the length needed to stimulate said genitals. Hell, they hang down there all day, not a foot away from the Devil's Kitchen. What did god think was going to happen?:X

If god has a stick so far up his ass that he/she/it doesn't want us making ourselves (or others) feel good, I'd wager the big guy probably just needs to lossen up and get laid. I guess its hard for him though, I learned from watching Dogma that angels don't have any junk down there and its probably not healthy for mortals to be fucked by a deity, so what's a horny and repressed god to do? Poor bastard...

Thank you for inspiring me, bird. I'm going to make a point to masturbate my devil stick not once, but twice before I leave work today. Mmmmmm, evil feels soooooo goooooood...

 

Actually, in 'Angels In America', angels are hermaphrodites that are said to have 8 sets of genitals, which can be either all male, all female, or a mix of the two (ie. 5 penises and 3 vaginas). And Emma Thompson's angel character fucked the gay prophet guy, and got all 8 of her vaginas going so hard that her angel hair caught on fire.

So my belief is, if there is a god, he/she/it's probably getting fucked all the time by angels. It's man's fault for creating rules about the genitals.

 

Masturbation is awesome... the only thing better then masturbation is mutual masturbation... nothing feels better then either watching a girl fucking her hole while you jack off, or helping her get off while she gets you off. Now THAT'S masturbation

 

wow
i dont kno a whole lotta good christians who talk to people that way
"I hope all you dirty, disgusting sinners will burn in hell"

yes, god made our sex organs for reproduction..but no where in the bible does it directly say whether or not masturbation is wrong, it's how you interpret it

i think masturbation is healthy and i dont think god disapproves unless you obsess over it, but that's like any other thing (tv, computer, sports etc.)

 

Here's the thing, how do we know what God thinks?
How do we know if The Bible, The Torah, or the Koran are really God's opinions?
Those books are all man-made, but claim to be inspired by the higher power.
How do we know if God forbids masturbation, pre-marital sex, homosexuality or any other religious sexual indiscretion? The answer: WE DON'T!!!!!!!! These so-called sexual indiscretions were all created by man as apart of some stupid religion that claims to have all of the answers to life.

Well Fuck You Bird~Migration and Christianity and all other kinds of organized religions. You know nothing of your so-called 'God', and if he really does exist he would brought a sudden end to your hypocricies a long time ago.

 

if that is the case then i must say that i am both sad and pathetic multiple times a day

 

i wish i could say the same

 

Then how comes that when you fuch or you masterbate you feel pleasure?

 

my mom says the same thing, and if what she says is true, im going to hell for many eternities

 

masturbation is human urge, like eating or drinking. if God wouldn't have wanted us to masturbate he would have found a way to make it impossible.

denying yourself this urge only cause trouble, as the tension grow and grow until you might do things that otherwise you wouldn't have done.

 

As a pagan I think you're going to burn on earth.

 

God is everywhere around you, in the bible, the koran the torah, the tao te ching, in the trees, in the air, in the tip of your penis, in the food you eat in the sunshine. People should pull their heads out of their asses and actually look, and listen and you will see god. Jesus was a great man, but just one of many. If Christians-Catholics figured it all out why do they say " Amen ". Amen was an egyptian god, whom greeks identified with as Zeus. Don't forget not to worships those idols, like that big golden cross with the man crucified on it in your big fancy church made with money.

 

Silly catholic, religion is for kids!

 

dear bird migration,

whahahahaha as a myself, i think you are going to spoile your time on earth by not having the pleassures of sex. god is love, sex is love between human bodies.
what's wrong with christians, they're so hatefull all the time

go smoke dope.

 

It should, from time to time, be mentioned here that bird is not your atypical winged creature. As a bird he is prone to flight, and his flightiness is absolutely at the center of this thread. He is funny. He has sucked people into thinking this wis a serious post and attack on masturbation. I am sure he is a proponent of it, but enjoyed reading people shout obscenities about 'christianity'.

Hmmm...as with his wonderful catholic sigs you'd think his intention is always to villify christianity. Anyway...that's the deal.

 

well why not apply some intelligence to the question? Some things that you want ARE bad...rape is bad. GREED is bad. clearly, bad things are bad, and good things are good. but is masturbation bad???????

well, using a hammer to remove meat from between your teeth...isn't bad, it is disordered and stupid. Same with masturbation. Food tastes good to encourage the body to eat. Sexual stimulation feels good to encourage the body to reproduce. Masturbation is a misuse of your hammer, or hammerette as the case may be.....It is separating sex from reproduction, and after all your sex organs are your reproductive organs...despite Trikster's false opinion that the clit is not a sex organ (prolly picks her nose excessively too) ew.

also, masturbation separates sex from love (except self-love of course, and we ARE commanded to love thyself....) in fact it becomes a habit that encourages you AWAY from making intimate contact with a mate....because your desire has been siphoned off...you don't need the other person of the opposite sex, cause you have your very own sex partner right there in your pants - so your are gonna miss your mate pal.

besides, its bad for your shoulders...anybody thinking of becoming a baseball player can just forget it if you mastrubate you will injure your shoulder - it is NOT a natural act!!! aha

so build up your desire and aim at a person of the opposite sex that grooves on you, and discover what life is really like.....so....

when some one asks you: "How's it hangin'?"

you can say: "Up tight, outta sight!!"

 

I gotta admit. He suckered ME into reading it, so I might touch on the medical issues of masturbation. (I'm PRO btw.)

 

If God intended us not to masturbate, we would have had shorter arms.

 

christians crack me up.

"The last true christian died on the cross" ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

 

marry me. seriously. great humor.