When do you just give up on loving someone..

My Ex and i went out for about 5 months and i know that this isnt a particularly long relationship. But still it meant so much to me and i really felt like i built a strong love for her. The last two weeks of our relationship we sorta just had a bit of fights and there were some problems but i reallly didnt think it was something that couldnt be fixed. When i asked her what went wrong she just told me that things had changed and that it wasnt working.. I know that shes been extra stressed out this semester with her taking 18 credits and also working a job on campus. So i guess im just in denial but i truly think that this girl is my someone that could have been a perfect counterpart. There were a couple things she noted that contributed to her change in emotions for me. One was that she felt like we had too little in common and the other thing was that my ideas were too liberal and that i wasnt very good at accepting other points of views..(mostly the conservative ones of her suitemate). Also just that a lot of little things just added up..

So do i just give up.. and stop trying cause i know i will have feelings for this girl for almost as long as i live.. Or do i pursue her and try to show her that i can be a person that she could love too? I dont want to sound like im chaining this girl down cause i told her i would be fine to give her as much time as she needed but everday and night i think about her and being with her. Other girls just dont have that effect on me and its really scary to think of this.

Im planning on maybe taking her out.. as just friends to a nice place just the two of us so that i could show her i am able to change.. and maybe give her flowers but i might just be fighting a lost cause here.

 

people can be attracted to each other even if they aren't compatible. Maybe you guys are too different to be together? As young as you are, I think you just don't want to lose her because you are new to the dating scene. I say you get out and date, and if you find yourself comparing all of your future dates to her, maybe there is something there left unresolved? It's possible that she didn't want to be as serious with you as you wanted to be with her too. Maybe she felt tied down and didn't want to be? Either you cut your losses and move on, or you talk to her about how you feel and try to get her to talk to you honestly about how she feels, even if it ends up hurting you.

Otherwise you are just wasting time.

 

Yeah..i think shes told me that she wont feel for me like i do. I just wish things were different because other girls dont attract me like she does. But yeah ill get out and date more maybe she needs to have a couple more dates in between me and her. We may just find each other again someday. im just too optimistic maybe.

 

Nope. I love people who are optimistic. They can take anything and make it a happy thing. If you two are meant to be you will meet up again. Maybe she needs to see the other guys out there to find out that you are so much better than the rest? Do feel like you aren't good enough for her. It isn't that you are not attractive enough or anything. Just some people do not have that attraction, while other will find you to be their ideal.

Just hang in there.

It will be better soon.

 

Sometimes if you love someone you got to let them go. Stay friends and make it clear to her that your just friends. Maybe take her out to dinner as friends but don't bring flowers it might give the wrong impression. And if she agrees to go out just think about if you really have anything in common and if she really is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe just give it time to heal your pain you might change your mind. Good luck stay strong!

 

i once heard that human beings biologically use relationships to get what they need and then when they have gotten it, they move to the next one.

now that makes us sound like selfish animals, but if you think about it, its true. maybe you both took something from this relationship and its over. think about what you learned through it! you might have learned that sometimes you just have to move on, maybe youve learned that rejection truly does hurt, or maybe youve just learned that its hard for you to cope with a loss that leaves you feeling lonely. it sounds like she learned she cant juggle to many things at once.


dont worry, if you guys are meant to be together, then you will be. maybe not today or even next week, but youve got your whole life ahead of you. good luck with everything!

 

when I was your age, I dated this incredible guy. I thought we were soul mates and that we would be together forever. He didn't, though, and broke it off with me when he found someone he liked better. I was on the rebound for a very very long time. So long, in fact, that even after I married someone else a few years later, when I ran into him out and about my heart got all fluttery and I got really agitated, just seeing him. Obviously, entering into marriage while still on the rebound was a really dumb idea. I did eventually get over him, and I had to divorce my first husband (for unrelated reasons). It took time, a long long time.


my advice to you is to stop trying to contact her. Don't go out with her, she obviously does not feel the same about you as you feel for her. Don't call her, don't go out of your way to see her. Cut it off. Wallow around in your own self-pity for a while, and then get on with your life. But keep in mind that rebound relationships might be fun, they are not healthy, for either party involved. As long as you are still pining away for the loss of this relationship that never was as good as your imagination wants it to have been, you cannot have a healthy relationship with another woman.