When is a boy a man? Aside from a bar mitzvah, what do we have for sons? How do we welcome them to the society of adults and the society of men?
That's a really good question. There really is no standard, like for girls (ie: aww, you got your period; great, lets go buy you some tampons and birth control). It takes more creativity than that. Wow, i was just reminded of an episode of the Andy Griffith show, lol, if i remember correctly, Opie was competing with another boy for a job so he could buy a new bike. When he discovered the other boy wanted the job to help support his family, Opie naturally decided it was best to quit the job, claiming he'd rather play baseball, so the other boy could have it. Dad was disappointed in his son, until he confessed that he lost the job on purpose, and explained why. Dad said something to the affect that acting so selflessly made his boy a man. awww. Cheesy, yes, but i guess that would be a really good opportunity, but then if your son is naturally giving (i know mine is, especially where his baby sisters are conserned) it would be hard to define that from his "childlike" behavior, and you're back at the beginning. i'll definately be watching this thread for ideas
I put my answer for Lennon in the girl's thread. As Lennon's dad and I are together, he handled it. They did a camping trip, I don't know how he figured out it was time. Shaving, masturbation, I don't know. Bear and I have a "you handle your gender and I'll handle mine" policy, when it comes to this stuff. We are pretty lucky, that there are two of us. Of couse, we have only one boy and three girls, but that's the way it is on our house.
My husband & I have been working this over lately too... We were thinking maybe DH & DS should go camping together, and maybe we could use the voice-changing as our "landmark event?" Short of creepily invading his privacy, I dunno what else we could gauge by... and I am NOT going there! love, mom
I would say when hes a teenager? Im not exactly sure , I am jewish so i had a bar mitzvah but i guess i really felt older when i turned 14, and my parents gave me new responsabilitys.
ahem, that's why I said aside from a bar mitzvah. plus, what about those poor unchosen people? and there are so many of them.... Paul and Arlo have boys' nights or afternoons, so I 'm thinking he needs to come up with something special. As for the difference at home, I need a new "allowed" behaviour. I don't think i want to wait for driving (all the maturation talk has been ongoing for his entire life, and well, Dad should do SOMETHING, not just step dad) Thinking a revamp of the (mangled by vandals) bike as a symbol of freedom. Also thinking about a camping trip where he catches a fish (Paul would have to talk him through cleaning) annd finds some wild food and builds his own fire, all symbolic of self-care.
Hey, that's kind of what we were thinking!!! DH is thinking of taking DS into the Boundary Waters for a week of survival camping. We all love to camp, but we've never gone quite that extreme... and both of the guys would love to. Great minds, I guess love, mom
well, we could get into a theological-scientific debate, but since I just repaired my stopped up with fuzzy tofu garbage disposal by means that resemble projectile vomiting, I haven't the stomach for it, my dear unchosen friend.
My sons (well my oldest one anyway) plan(s) to have his ears pierced as a symbol of entering manhood, and he will begin to stretch them over the years until he is a grown man, then he will have good sized lobes. That will be his ritual. Im sure at some point some tattoos will begin, but who knows. There is always the prostitute at 16 too lol (jokin)
Yeah, if you have a man in the house, this is probably best. But, not all moms do. Ya hate to go by what you find on his sheets, (Oh, NO she's "going there." LOL!) IF they did their own laundry, without the drama, these things wouldn't happen. ("Yeah, Lennon, sheets really should] be changed more than once every year.") Bear did the camping thing. Both he and my kids love to camp, so it was good. I have NO IDEA what they talked about, but it's a dude thing, I guess. Bear made jokes about taking him to a "titty bar" mama vetoed THAT idea. I don't think he would have done it, either.
