Do men repress rape instincts?

Well, it's funny how, in some species, the male is the dominating figure while, in others, the female has more power. When we look at our own species, I think "domination" is still an instinct in human males at least to a certain degree. It gets a little off-topic getting into this since it won't really have anything to do with "rape" then.

"Domination" and "rape" can be two completely different things, and ARE in essense. To the male of many species, domination is simply a way of life. The female accepts that, and let's the male "dominate" over her. To the female, it's the way things are, too. That's how they've kept their species alive. Human males can also "dominate" without actually cause any harm. The whole BDSM thing is an example. Most people who are into that stuff actually are very careful as to not hurt their partners. And the rule, according to someone who is actually into it, is that the both parties be willing to participate, and that no purposely harming anyone involved.

"Rape" is a different territory. It involves unwillingness and physical, and/or emotional harm on the part of the receiving end. This isn't quite the display of "domination" as in the above-stated format, but is often a display of "sadism". A "sadist" finds joy in seeing pain and suffering in the expressions of others. That's what a sadist craves, and that's what he needs to get himself off. You can see it gets way more serious and alarming than some friendly rough sex sessions.

So we essentially wouldn't and/or shouldn't have any rape "instincts", unless one instinctively wants to hurt others on the regular basis... In which case, it would be a good idea for one to get professional counselling.

 

I have to disagree with both Alternative Thinker and Zendude….I don't think that there is a man out there that hasn't mentally undressed a woman or fantasized about how they would "Make Love" to them at some point in their life….You noticed that I said "Make Love," not just "Fuck" them….This is defiantly a form of "Mental Rape," but in a normal male, it just isn’t acted upon….If you say that you haven’t then you’re in total denial….It stems from the XY chromosome inherited from early man, when men took women by force out of pure lust….However, this gene through Eons of natural selection, has been repressed except in a few men where it becomes a dominant factor, let’s call it the "Bad Gene."…Most of us have been raised with a certain code of morality, that society just doesn’t except behavior like this or there will be consequences to face if this boundary is over-stepped….Think about it, nobody is a Saint. "Just for the record, I have not, nor will I ever, force myself upon any woman at anytime."

P.S.
Look at what happens in war, so many atrocities occur, i.e. "Legal Sanctioned
Murder, Pillaging and yes, Rape," that normal males would never act upon if in other circumstances….I’m not saying all normal males commit these wrong doings, but when one faces death, a certain other than normal thinking takes over, let’s call it the, "Primal Will To Survive." If you haven’t been there, don’t be too quick to judge, because you’re not qualified.

 

Umm, DDR... What you're saying reminds me so much of "thought crime". What you're referring to as "mental rape" still sounds perfectly consensual, especially since you're talking about "making love", if you ask me.

If you're talking fantasies, I'm sure you'll recognize the difference between the natures of "mental rape"(as you put it) and "erotic/romantic" fantasies. In a rape fantasy, someone is still getting raped, if inside the head of whoever is doing the fantasizing exclusively. Whoever's fantasizing this is seeing inside his/her head the pained expression in the face of their "victim", so to speak. There is no mutual enjoyment there even when everything is taking place within somebody's head. It doesn't even come close to fantasizing about a romantic night by the fire with someone you're attracted to. In this kind of fantasy, mutual enjoyment is one of the emphasized points since your theoretical partner would also be willing.

Think about it this way... If what you're saying is true, then we male posters here are all "mental rapists", mentally raping all these wonderful ladies who come to Hip Forums. And we are also victims because people may fantasizing about us, too. I'm sorry, but that theory doesn't sound sensible at all. It sounds to me like you're taking the otherwise totally harmless(meaning "NON-rape", if you will) things and totally twisting and distorting them, and linking the ruined, disgraced admirations with something negative. Am I the only one who find it to be too big a leap?

As for the mention of war times, I'll say this because it's what seems to me... If one had to rape somebody during those times because one's life was at stake, then one was also a victim of rape. Whoever one raped may not have wanted it, but neither did the party who did the raping in such a case since one was also forced. Only, one wasn't raped by the second party, but by the third who did the ordering.

 

well, damn, then I've mentally raped an awful lot of people. Fantasizing is not mentally raping someone, it's just fantasizing.


as for instincts n such, well, a lot of us keep ourselves in check. I don't hit customers because they piss me off, I don't maul a guy just because I find him attractive. I wouldn't go so far as to call any of that rape instincts, just urges... big difference. And assuming that cave men used to do women purely from lust and whether they wanted or not is a huge assumption - there is no archaeological evidence to suggest that, just our assumptions about the past, completely ungrounded in fact (I forget who said that, just there is NO evidence to suggest that prehistoric men raped women willynilly)

 

You just don't get, move on you can be assured that I am.

 

As has been said above rape is a crime of violence not a sex crime. The patients who I have taken care of who were rapists (in for the 30 day court exam) both hated and feared women. As a male, I look at many women and imagine how it would to be in bed with them. However, I think that is very different from rape. Also according to the women I have talked to, they do the same sort of thing. I do not believe any normal male has a "rape instinct"
However, I think a lot of men carry around a lot of mental bullshit about how they are better than women are and that this can lead to some coercive behavior. "Hell I just spent 50 bucks; you had better give me some." But I think that kind of shit is a matter of nurture not nature.

 

very interesting stuff here..mainly from the older men,..who seem more realistic about primal stuff. i was especially interested in the coercive behaviour from nuturing. I'm not at all categorising men as rapists! I know i have difficulty with sexual desire..and i was just wondering what its like to be a man in that arena.

 

*gigggles*

wow, i'm confused

 

I think older men are more in tune with their masculinity. And masculinity is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a good thing, we like it and many women like men who are real men.

Sexual desire? Well, the day after having sex, I feel this low level background noise, something in my psyche reminding me that is been a whole day... The second day after sex, and the noise is louder, my thoughts are drifting, I notice girls in the street more, I feel an urge. Day three, and the tension is like a rubber band that is wound too tight. You feel it, it dominates you and your mood. You need sex. And then, when you do, it feels like a ten-tonne weight has been lifted from your shoulder. In the arms of your lover, everything is right with the world. You are at peace and nothing can spoil it. Until tomorrow, and the cycle starts all over again...

I have sex with my wife every two or (at the most) three days. And every day on weekends and holidays. It keeps me calm, it keeps me sane, it keeps me happy. Makes my wife happy too!

 

Some people like violent sex...
It doesn't mean they're mentally ill, it's just a matter of preference.

 

This guy is talking sense.It is,however I think,part of man's instinct to be ruthless.Like has there ever been a time in history when there WASN't a war going on somwhere? But I've come to the conclusion thats it's wrong to think that violence is all down to men,because it is almost like the mans roll to protect his wife/family - and thats just the way it is.I've found out along the way that if you don't fight back sometimes you will just get walked over - so yeah it's good - if you find other morally acceptable ways to express anger - I don't know through sport or music or anything that doesn't actually harm anyone else,but still be able to defend yourself.So for example you can be ruthless say,in finance - getting a deal but when you find your girlfriend in bed with another guy - you don't ACTUALLY go apeshit and kill somebody - you control your anger,and learn to think 'ok - I'm better than that.I don't need her'.I think rape is committed by people who are mentally ill - who don't know how to control their own thoughts and emotions,or lust.I used to live with a mother of two,who had strange sexual habits - she often wanted me to be quite rough with her which I found sometimes 'unnatural'.Later on,she told me that she had been sexually abused by her father as a child.There was a connection there somwhere but to be honest,it was too complex for me - though I did try and understand.Anyway - may the force be with you!

 

To be honest, yes i believe i do have a "rape instinct" if you can call it that. Actually i don't know if it's a rape instinct. What happens is i will see/think about/whatever a hot girl and i'll want to do her so bad, and i just think "i want to rip her clothes off and fuck her right now whether she wants it or not." Every guy that i've been close enough to ask has confirmed that they too do feel this instinct.

As others have said though, the thing is that i know better than to actually do that. I have never used force or strength to make a girl do anything sexual(anything at all actually). As a matter of fact, i do know of a guy who used force (he's a 275 lb guy) to make girls have sex with him, and it completely disturbs, disgusts, and downright angers me. When i found out about this guy using force it actually ruined my whole night, i was that angry about it.

I don't care what you guys say about me, call me messed up or whatever else you probably will, but i'm just sharing the honest truth. Also "green" or whatever your name is, you can't really comment on this subject becase you are only 15...I don't believe this instinct really came out in me until i was more physically mature (19-20 years old). There is probably a reason that the instinct didn't come out till then - at 19-20 i was starting to hit my physical prime. It only makes sense that instinct would wait until we are in our physical prime to tell us to use our physical force/prowess to obtain whatever we can.

Just my view on the subject, hope i added something.

 

coming across this conversation reminded me of a destubing talk I had with a guy I once knew... he had worked with my bf a little, and we invited him over to hang out one evening. Somehow, our conversation turned political, and on to the subject of gay rights. this guy just kept harping on the fact that he was "uncomfortable" around gay people, he didn't want them around his kids, he didn't want them in his locker room. It was the locker room thing that bugged me. basically, his view of the whole thing was that if a gay guy saw any man naked, all bets were off and the gay guy, being and uncontrolable pervert (i guess this was how he saw things) would not be able to resist.

When he told me this view on things, I turned it around on him. I said "You're straight. You're a married man who obviously likes women. are you telling me that if you found any woman attractive, and you were given the chance to do it, you would have sex with her - even against her will?"

His answer? "of course! I'm a man!"

At this point in the conversation, I flipped out, kicked him out of the house and never saw him again. My boyfriend totally backed me up, told the guy he was a creep and we didn't trust him. For all I know he's a serial rapist.

But let me be clear. I do not think this guy is "normal" at all. I think most men, even ones who enjoy domination, want the woman they'e with to enjoy it. Hell, on the occasions my love and I indulge in "kinky" stuff that some people might consider violent, he can't help asking if I'm okay and telling me he loves me about a million times.

 

There is nothing normal about one person having sex when two or more people are there. It is a form of public masturbation at its best and a complete denial of another person as a human being at its worst.

 

Hmm.. quite the loaded question.

Natural instincts would be to take as many women as you can and spread your seed.

It'd be nice to think we were more civilized than that, but it is doubtful.

I think men do have instincts to dominate and overpower, but whether or not these instincts ever come to mind is another thing. I am not a man, I have no idea.

I have had experience with men who would get a girl drunk just to fuck her, or do things equally as terrible. So yes, I think many men do have this desire to rape.

But.... men who are doing this have mental problems. Decent men want a women to have sex with them because they want to. Not because they were forced to. Anyone with who rapes is mentally ill.

And having violent sex or rape play is not the same thing. Two consenting adults who are having consensual sex is a whole other ballgame. I get turned on by it, but only in a safe situation with my longtime love.

I will be the first female to admit this: Sometimes I'll see a gorgeous guy and just think 'wow, i'd love for him to take me right now and have his way with me'. And yes, it turns me on. Big time. So I can see how men have this same desire. BUT MOST MEN HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO KNOW IT IS A FANTASY!! And never act it out.;

 

I fantasize about rape, on both ends, cum to think of it, I rape my partner every time he goes down on me...hmmmm, damn good thing I'm not a man

 

I have quite a taste for RAPE!

Ravinous Ass & Pussy Eating! :X

 

faggots

 

Some of you are right and wrong at the same time....

Yes, guys do want the girls they do it with to enjoy it too....This is the learned, socially acceptable layer.

But, deep down eventually you just want to do a girl whether she wants it or not and just have no association with her other than doing her...That's the primal instinct layer that IS there, whether guys will admit it or not.

There's some Freudian terminology that can be thrown in there, i think the primal instinct layer is called the "Id" but i'm not totally sure, psychology is not my area of expertise.

 

That's right,I'm resurrecting this mutherfucker!!!

I think an important point that should be brought up is how many women on this forum alone have admitted having a rape fantasy & gotten themselves off on it.