i found out today that my baby stopped growing a week or so ago and at six weeks is way too small and has no heartbeat. i feel broken. i dont know what to do, im just sitting here with it inside me. theres no pain or bleeding. ive got to ring the hospital to find out what will happen tomorrow. please help me
Oh sweetheart...I am so very, very sorry. I know that there are no words that I can really say to comfort you right now, because believe me, I lost two babies myself and when it happened, I felt like my whole world was falling apart. But I want you to know that you have my love, heartfelt sympathy, and I wish you much peace, healing, and strength to get through this time. If you need someone to talk to, to vent at all, I'll gladly listen. I know how hard this is. Many, many hugs...
I am sorry to hear this, my wife miscarried on our first pregnancy. It was very crushing. It does get better though, about a year later, we were blessed with our son. I just told myself that it wasn't the right time.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I've been through that, too. I took it harder than I expected to. For now just let yourself mourn and feel what you're feeling. Cry if you need to. Now just wasn't the right time. I hope you feel better.
AWWW, I'm so sorry. That just makes me want to cry. I lost two babies before, I know how bad your feeling. Please let us know how you are doing.
im ok, as well as i can be, it changes from hour to hour. im sort of numb. i nearly lost it last night. i just couldnt get the fact that it was in me dead and there were no signs of it coming out, i just kept seeing myself taking a knife to my stomach and i wanted to, just to get it out so bad. i was alone, my husband went out and talked to his mum and didnt come home untill one thirty in the morning by which point i felt like my mind had turned, like i was out of my head. i am finding it hard to forgive him that at the moment, especially as he isnt that bothered.or at least doesnt seem it...and its not that hes hiding it, first thing he said to me was "well it wasnt really a baby yet was it" because i was only 6 weeks, (also he thought it was too soon to have another one, it was an accident.) but i felt like it was a baby, tiny or not it was going to be my child that i would give birth too and breastfeed and give my love. and all that is gone, i'd started writing a diary for it to read when it was grown up about what it was like growing it, i did the same for my little boy. i wanted it though, so badly. and everywhere i go people are pregnant or have tiny babies and now i feel numb. did anyone else feel like their baby had become something poisonous, i just want it out of me, i cant mourn it because i feel like im dirty and i want the blood to come and make me clean again. thats weird isnt it? i feel weird that i feel like that, especially because i was so delighted and serene when i though i was having a baby. the hospital keep saying they wont do a D+C and that its better to let it come out naturally but if it doesnt all come out i will need one anyway and i cant move on untill ive been through that, im floating at the moment, like its happening to someone else. thanks for your support everyone.
i cant mourn it because i cant admit to myself that i loved it and if i think of it as my baby i just fall apart because its gone.
***hugggsss*** i am sooo sorry you're going through this. We all deal with it differently. When it happened to me, i chose ignorance. i didn't know for sure i was pregnant to begin with, so when i lost it (and it was undeniable, because i SAW it come out), i pretended not to notice. To this day, it's out of my mind until someone else shares their experiences. I had totally forgotten about it until i was pregnant with my second (third?) child. See, i don't even count it, and i know i should! i feel guilt over that. Anyway, IMO you should mourn, if that's what you feel. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't a baby yet. You loved your little angel-baby, so it will only hurt more later on if you deny it. i know! i'm still dealing. i don't think its something you can ever get over, but you can heal. Almost every mama has at least once. It SUCKS but it's true. *more hugs*
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((enigma)))))))))))))))))))))))) Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. Hugs and love to you. Wish I lived near you, so I could bring you some chocolate cake and some hugs. I've miscarried twice. I had a D&C once and let it happen naturally the other time. My dh also, just didn't seem all that upset. I mean, when I called him at work (I was bleeding and had lost the embryo in the toilet) to tell him, he was naturally upset, and came home immediately. But, I was still crying a week or so later, and he just didn't get it. "It wasn't like you were even showing. It wasn't like a full term baby died." No, it wasn't, but I was still in mourning. You need your womyn freinds to help you through this. (Those with kids are best, childless womyn often don't get it, unless they are TTC.) We're here for you. Do you have anybody close to just talk to? The womyn from my LLL group came and brought dinner for me the night after I had the first one. I didn't even tell anyone with the second, because I didn't even realize I was pregnant until I lost it. Prayers and blessings and love to you, honey. I am so sorry this happened. She was returned to the place above, and will be carried again and born, when she is ready. Many times a soul makes the decision to not carry through to birth, for reasons we can't understand. Heal, sister.
thankyou everyone. i started bleeding today and had some huge clots and in one i saw the sac and this tiny blob thing inside, so its nearly over, just got to wait for the bleeding to stop now. its really painful though, is it normal for it to hurt more than a period? (i have bad ones anyway) will it last longer?
Mine hurt more than a menstrual period, and I bled quite heavily for about a day, and then it eased up. I think I finally stopped bleeding completely within 5 days.
Im so very sorry about your loss. The best thing that helped me out was to lye in bed and cry and cry, cry as much as you need to, if you are religious then lift it all to GOD, that's what I did and Im now able to talk about it, and like my husband said, it just wasn't the time. God will bless you girly with a beautiful baby when he know's that you are good, healthy, and ready, and when you totally don't expect it. Cry a heavy cry you will feel much better after you do. If you want some to talk to I'll be more than happy to talk to, I need more girl friends to talk to. Im here for, we all are here for you. God Bless Hugs-n-prayers
This type of belief is what got me through my miscarriage...I am so glad you posted this, Maggie Sugar. Enigma, I am sooo sorry for your loss. I felt sorta the same as you because I started spotting and went to the doctor to find out why and she said the baby had died at about 8 weeks ( I was about 11 weeks at this point). The next few days were torture just knowing I had it inside of me and that the soul was no longer there...just a dead baby. When I finally miscarried, it was the most emotionally and physically painful thing I had gone through, but I was glad it was over. Take the time to mourn....I got pregnant again 2 months later and am thrilled but nothing will take away the sadness from that first loss. It did help that I let myself mourn. And like Maggie Sugar, Hippylandscaper, and others have said...you just have to think that it wasn't the right time for that soul to make it's journey into this life. Hopefully it helps that you are not alone, as many women have gone through this, and although each experience is unique on it's own, at least we have one another to cry on and confide to. Lots of hugs and healing vibrations your way!
I have never had a miscarrage, but while being pregnant with my daughter, I was so afraid of it that it made me feel sick to even think about it if it were to happen. I can only imagine the pain you're going through. Just cry. It always helps. Like maggie said, it just wasn't time for that soul to enter the world yet. It will in time. Although, I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but women who miscarry often go on to have twins....so you never know for next time. There's no medical fact to that, I've just heard of that happeneing a lot. You'll be blessed with your bundle in time. As for your dh, a lot of the time, the fact that women are pregnant don't even sink in with men until they see the belly. To him, he may have known, but he really saw no extreme (sp?) changes yet, so it's probably harder for him to understand. As well as the fact that you were the one growing the baby inside you. It changes the way that you see the world knowing that you have a life in you. Men don't get to experience that, so he really doesn't understand. I hope that you're feeling better, soon. Your baby's time will come soon.
You know, I feel exactly the same way. I lost two babies, and when I found out that I was having twins, I felt that I was being given the chance to have my babies once again. Some call it coincidence, but I truly feel in my heart that it was otherwise. {{{Hugs}}}
I miscarried once, when I was just 18. And while I wanted it to happen, I was still so upset over that loss of life, it hit me very deeply. But as Maggie said, she went back and will be born again when she is ready. I "talked" my baby into leaving. I told him that while I loved him, I couldn't be a good mommy and I didn't have a daddy for him. That when I had a good daddy for him and was a bit more settled, then I would love to have him back. And 3 months after meeting brian, though probably more through bad planning, I was pregnant. And when I meet this baby face to face, I'll know for sure that this child came back to me. And one day, your baby will come back to you too.
((((((((((((hugs!!!)))))))))))) I am so sorry. I can only imagine the pain you are going through right now; both physical and mental. I wish I had something insightful or helpful to say to you, but words escape me. But my prayers are with you. Take care. love, mom
