i can't sleep...a short rant out of sheer boredom

i don't know why...i'm really tired but i can't sleep...music isn't helping...silence scares the shit out of me...i'm tired and bored and scared and need someone to talk to/something to do...

isn't it strange the peculiar twists and turns that life takes...

lying in the dark and silence i can't help but think about all the mistakes i've made in my life...which makes trying to get to sleep so much more difficult...

when we were young and the things that scared us were just figments of our over active imaginations...i wish i could go back to then...because at least fictional beasts can't hurt you...looking back i realise even tho i was scared out of my wits by the dark...it couldn't hurt me...and still can't...growing up and the life you live whilst doing it is probably the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me...fretting over things i did wrong at the time...and things i will do wrong in the future...i wonder if it ever gets easier...will i be able to lie in my bed in the dark and smile to myself knowing that things will be ok in the morning and that nothing is as bad as it seems? i know that the sun is just about to come up...and i still won't be able to sleep...for some reason i can only sleep when i have absolutely no choice...when it gets to that point where as soon as you relax your body you're away to the land of nod...but things are worrying me now...so i can't relax...i need to relax...

where's erykah tonight? she's been on a few times the last week or so because she can't sleep either...where did all my nocturnal chat buddies go? everyone has grown out of staying up late...

i miss sitting up till 6:00 talking absolute bollocks with people i've only met once or twice...i miss having nothing to worry about outside of where the booze got to and forgetting all my spelling skills...i miss being a kid even more...when people decided my life for me...when everything was seemingly pre-ordained...

they say that life is exciting because you never know what will happen next...to me it just feels like terror...or have i always had those two mixed up?

ah well...i guess i'll just go and sit and watch the sun rise...theres nothing else to do...and i'm not going to get to sleep anytime soon...

 

I hate that feeling, the feeling when you know your not going to get to sleep but you still try and it makes things really frustrating...and i guess the way you are feeling doesnt help much...

 

it's a matter of perception...it is a mindset your in. granted, not everything can be seen in a positive manner, but if you manage to view most things that can be seen in that light, then those negative things will be less...and you'll smile again try to look at the positive things, and you'll realise just how much you've got

 

I had a therapist once which gave me some excersises...... you have to moverevery little bit of your body in a circular motion three times starting from your feet and moving up to your head...

It does actually work.


Oh...... i hate that too..... but it sometimes gets annoying when i'm visited in the night by spirits and they keep me awake, and they do it quite often too!!

And sleep paralysis ...

 

this is what sitting up till 5:50 does to me...

I'm on a mexican radio
i'm on a mexican...woah-oh...radio

I'm on a mexican radio
i'm on a mexican...woah-oh...radio

that and posting at random in forums i hardly go in...

 

Here is a trick if you can't sleep.

Turn your thinking around....try to stay awake!!!

Works everytime!!!!

Try it!

 

Haha, child psycology on yourself! That sounds a good idea, i'll try it one day. Only problem is, I get to sleep easily .
I know - i'll try to stay asleep, then hOpefully i'll stay awake instead!
Love,
Sunshine Lily
xxx

 

i woke up this morning with really horrible cramp in my calves which lasted for about an hour! It was so painful! And the scary thing is my best friend experienced the same thing in the same night. Creepy!!!

 

Lack of salt apparently

 

strange.... i'm sure i eat enough sodium....... but no more than 2.0 gms a day, though!


Cheers!

grrr... Stupid cramp.

 

haha that works with me to