friends who might not be as good of friends as you thought...

my friend dave and i have been pretty close for about two years now. i've always valued the relationship because he's always there and despite the fact that he's a guy and i'm a girl, it's never been anything more than platonic. it's a very shallow relationship, haven't actually ever figured out what it's based on besides a mutual love of music and graduating from the same high school in a class of 50. however, lately things have gotten really weird and messed up. he's begun really taking my friendship for granted- calling me to hang out simply because he's bored and i'm here- which is making me question what i thought our previous relationship was. i almost get the impression that he's just using me because he only wants to spend time together when he wants or needs something (which ends up being all the time- we're talking 5 or 6 days a week). he's also extremely negative in how he talks to me- very sarcastic and often mean- which never used to be the case. oh, and to make matters even more complicated, i've begun to get the distinct impression that the relationship's not quite as platonic as i used to think it was.
what do i do? he's frustrating me/making me angry for more reasons than those i listed above as well. do i just pull away from him unless/until he starts making some changes in the way he treats me, or try confronting him about this and risk making him mad?

 

He wants to be more than friends, but is afraid you don't want that from him. This frustrates him and that is where the negative remarks come from. Would you ever consider trying to make a romantic relationship with him? If so, talk to him and try to get him to come out with how he feels. If not, then perhaps you should tell him that so he knows where you both stand. It may cause him to run, but if this doesn't happen things will likely get worse.

We have the same avatar!!!

 

thats exactly what it sounds liek to me too. the best way to go about it is just talk about it. ask him if hes developing feelings or if he notices the relationship is changing. who knows, maybe he feels alone and just needs extra attention. good luck with everything!

 

Yeah, I agree. it sounds like he wants more from you than you are willing to give.

I've been in the situation where I want more from somebody than they want from me and it has been frustrating. Im not justifying his behavior, but keep in mind he is struggling with his emotions and it won't be rational.

Peace

 

wow...definitely hadn't occurred to me that this might be the case, but makes a lot of sense (i'm just a bit on the blissfully oblivious side at times...)
i do care about him a lot, but not in a romantic way. i honestly couldn't see myself dating/marrying him because he's got a lot of growing up to do. i'm not the type of girl he normally dates, he's not the type of guy i normally date. but i definitely think y'all are probably right, now that i think about it. thanks for the advice!