How common is depression in Pregnancy?

Okay, so I've started feeling low. Really low. And I never feel this low.

I just keep getting this same feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness floating through my head and all I want to do is sleep. I don't want to eat. I can't make myself do much of anything. I'm crying a lot more than normal.

And I mean, it's not like there's no reason for all of it. I'm going through the top emotionally distressing situations an adult can face: mourning the death of a loved one, moving, planning a wedding, expecting a child, financial woes, just to name a few.

But I mean, even with all the time in the world (I don't work), I just can't seem to get over anything. And every little thing said to me seems to set me off. Or even tiny little mishaps. Like, I dropped a pan earlier when I was putting clean dishes away. I started to bawl. I got off the phone with Brian during his lunch break. He sounded tired and kinda worn. And I felt like it was partially my doing, and I started to cry.

Is this normal? Should I see a doctor? Is there anything that can help me? I'm not a big fan of medicating depression patients, nor am I a fan of psychiatrists, but I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Plus, with the baby due in a little less than 10 weeks, I want to know that I'll be stable when faced with everything that the baby will entail.

I know I'm rambling, but...I need help or at least some kind words from mommas that have been here before. Thanks.

 

Sweetie, it is normal to have really sharp mood swings when you are pregnant. You have a lot of fluid in your body, and drinking more water may actually help let some of it out, this could actually help with the depression.

Depression usually needs to be treated if it lasts longer than 4 weeks, or you have the urge to hurt or kill yourself, or you feel violent, or you can't function at all for weeks on end.

Expecting a baby is a little scary. Is there someone you can talk to, close to home? Your mom, or your man, or a womyn friend who has been through this? Contact with other people is really good for depression, especially if you have the "I can't move" syndrome (been there, had that, it sucks.)

((((((((((((((FREEK))))))))))))))))

 

i was a wreck during both pregnancies. i'd cry at everything and i don't cry as a general rule. i just don't. i'd get so frustrated that i couldn't get up and do all the stuff i wanted to do, kai was suffering for it and that really bothered me. my house got messy, and most of all, my bathroom, no matter how clean, was still gross to me. i couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep, i COULDN'T BREATHE! it was awful. if you weren't a bit down, i'd be wondering at your mental state. you're gonna be okay. like maggie said, unless you start wanting to do violence to yourself or anyone else, THEN you get checked. but being emotional and being down is just part of the huge biological miracle of having a baby. it's hard.

 

Yeah, I think it's pretty common. Drinking enough water really might help. It couldn't hurt. Also, just remind yourself that all of this, all of the things that are stressing you out, will be resolved one way or another soon, and it's all going to be OK. It really will. And don't blame yourself. I think a lot of it is hormonal. I mean, the crying at the drop of a pan? Sounds like hormones to me.


It will be OK. It's normal. I don't know how mobile you are right now, but when I felt like that it helped me to get out of the house and go for a walk or just sit on a bench and have a change of scenery.

I hope you feel better.

 

post office commercials used to send me on crying drags that would last HOURS.

 

exxon commercials "do people really care what happens to the environment? PEOPLE DO."

ME:

"NO YOU DON'T YOU LOUSY BASTARDS!!! PRINCE ALBERT SOUND RUINED!!! OH MY GOD, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END TOMORROW AND MY BATHROOM IS FILTHY!!! AAAAAAAAH!"

then i'd call my mom.

 

HippyFreek2004~get yourself a copy of this book (A Natural Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum Health). seriously. i wish i had known a fraction of the things it talks about, when i was pg/pp.

be well and be gentle to yourself.

 

This definitely helped me. I've no experience with pregnancy, but I'm no stranger to hormone fluctuations! For the last few months, I've got to feeling really down and depressed and extra-emotional in all the ways you descirbed, and since my bf and I moved closer to town, and I've gotten more mobile, things have been looking up. It's just a matter of getting over that hump and making myself get out there. I go to my bf's storeand make him lunch and hang out for a while, or to the library or something like that - a place where people are just generally friendly and nice as a rule.

It might sound funny, but for me it really helps just to be around or near friendly, sympathetic people. Even getting a smile from someone (even a stranger) can put me in a better mood, by virtue of making me smile back (I must be really weird, because once I start smiling I'm all better)

Seriously, though, things will get better! Try and keep your chin up, keep sympathetic, loving people on your speed dial, and talk to your little-one when you feel lonely!

(((((hippiefreek)))))

 

All I can say is I know exactly how you feel, maybe not exactly, but almost. And I've read that it's pretty common, well I'm no stranger to depression, but I haven't been depressed in quite a long time, but this entire first trimester has been really bad on me, physically and emotionally. Things that make me feel better, reading, good movies, being pampered by myself or others, going out, but being alone, taking a walk, or seeing something nice outside of the house is a big deal, breathing fresh air, and sunlight are amazing, drinking water really does replenish physically and emotionally, and having a little bit of a ruitine, something you like to do and set aside time to do(i.e. schedule it) is big for someone like you and me who don't work, having something everyday or 5 days a week or whatever, as if it was a job, but rather something that you enjoy doing and makes you comfortable, such as taking a crafting class or something like that, can be really, really helpful. I do hope you feel better, and don't beat yourself over this, you do have a ton of reasons for feeling this way, and it's okay as long as you also find ways to get through it.

 

Thanks for all of the advice.

Yesterday, I talked with Brian about how I've been feeling, and we bought a BIG water bottle ( I normally don't drink enough, even not while pregnant). So, that helped a bit.

And I start babysitting a friend's two year old for a couple of hours a day tomorrow. He's a sweet little boy and I think that watching him will break up the monotany a bit, so that I can feel like I'm doing something besides gaining weight. :&

And we also looked at apartments together yesterday. This was a huge stress for me. Because Brian works so much, the search was left to me. I knew where we needed to find one and how much we could afford, but I've never looked for an apartment before, so this was tough. Not to mention, it seemed like every place we looked at was ghetto-fabulous and I just was feeling so rundown about it.

But yesterday, we found an acceptible place. Wish us luck. If we get it, we'll be moving soon and I'll get to feel helpless in a whole new way (no one will let me lift anything ). but it will mean that we'll have time to get settled in before baby is due, so our homebirth might still go as planned.

Oh yeah, and I need to know from experienced mommas...>What do BH contractions feel like? Because last night, I was feeling this crampy-gas-like pain in my tummy (but not where gas pains should be). I just wanted to get on all fours and rock. It wasn't gas or anything. And it came off and on sporadically for an hour. I've read tons on BH and regular contractions, but reading about how they feel and actually feeling them are two different things.

 

Oh that's great! I hope you get that apartment!


Braxton-Hicks contractions can range from mild to intense. If it's a real contraction (even a real BHC), you can put your hand on your belly and your belly will feel hard to the touch. It's trippy. It's like you have a basketball under your skin.

 

when i got bh contractions, i'd down a TON of water and take a warm (not hot) bath. worked WONDERS. a lotta time dehydration can cause them, and you mentioned you're not drinking enough water. my BH would come VERY regularly, and towards the end of the pregnancy, the fact that they would come on then regulate then start to come faster was pretty frightening. so i'd do the water and bath thing first before going to the hospital. the sunday before i gave birth, my BH started to become regular labor and they stopped it because no one was ready to do the delivery. and the meds they give you will make you feel really freaky, like you just sucked down 3 espressos. it was awful.

 

{{{HUGS}}} HippyFreak. I'm glad to hear that you talked with Brian about how you're feeling. A support system is a major must-have during the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy!

As far as BHCs go, I had a ton of them when I was pregnant with my oldest son (I didn't drink very much fluids) but with my twins, I rarely got them (I drank water like a fish!) So keep well hydrated!

And always keep an eye on them. If you get more than *I believe it's* 3-4 in a row, call your OB/GYN or midwife.

{{{Hugs again}}}

 

So, today, life got ALOT brighter.

First of all, I took a water bottle with me throughout all of my errands, and besides having to pee every five minutes, I feel a bit better.

And I had to get up early to go pick up Evan, but knowing that I had a purpose today really made me happy.

I looked at a one-bedroom apartment 15 minutes from Brian's work, liked it, and we put a deposit down on it. We'll know on Wednesday if we're approved, but the manager said that everything looked really good. It's on the bottom level, has a fenced-in back yard, and is totally renovated. Plus, it's not ungodly expensive. YAY!

Tomorrow is my 30 week midwife appointment as well as Fat Tuesday. I'm a very happy camper right now. YAY!

 

woohoo! good for you. have you noticed that you can sense the placement of a bathroom wherever you go? i developed a sixth sense for finding potties when i was pregnant. though i once told a waitress i was going to pee on their floor if they didnt let me use their bathroom.

 

Yeah, I pride myself on being queen of finding a bathroom at EVERY PLACE I go to.

Once, Christmas day, we went for a walk around the neighbourhood. I found the only honey bucket, and walked up to it so nonchalantly. Brian and his brother were telling me it was probably locked up for the weekend, but I knew. It was open. Just for me.

 

HippyFreek, I'm glad things are starting to look up for you...hang in there, you're so close to meeting your baby . I've still got a ways to go (only at 13 weeks right now) and I'm already riding the emotional roller coaster. I've also become slightly OCD. The other night my husband dumped a bag of spinach in the sink and I went off. I started crying and screaming about how many germs were in the sink. Every little thing grosses me out and I feel helpless about what to do about it all! And the CRYING... I was just listening to Ben Harper yesterday and started bawling for no reason. My husband said the music was too melancholy and shut it off but for all I know I could've been listening to the Beatles St. Peppers album or Barney's greatest hits and would've had the same reaction. I think all of us pregnant mamas can relate to a little insanity...and as stated before, just as long as there are no thoughts of violence!

 

oh hon! At 13 weeks, you're still right in the middle of the first trimester hormone surge...Don't worry. 2nd trimester gets a little better (at least in my experience).

 

It's really interesting to read about the hormones making everyone go out of balance because for me, it was the exact opposite! Normally I'm a swinging pendulum but during my pregnancy I was just so smooth and mellow and BALANCED for the first time ever! It was wonderful, I think the hormones helped my BPD. Is that possible? Freek, I wish I knew what to tell you about the depression, it sounds like you're getting a handle on it. I've been depressed most of my life and the only thing that ever helped it was medication. Not anti-depressants either, anti-convulsants. It took a long time to figure out that the regular stuff was just making things worse. Moving in to a new place will help ALOT. We were planning a home birth too and I was freaking out. Our old place was way to small and our stuff was stacked up everywhere. It just had bad birthing vibes. We got a new place and settled in just before the birth and that helped alot. I know that if anybody will have a wonderful home birth it'll be you!

 

my mom was the same. she's always been emotionally all over the map. i was the steady, mellow one. she gets pregnant and every health and emotional issue she's ever had is GONE. i get pregnant and i'm on the verge of death and destruction.