Priorities: church or helping people?

I need a little advice from fellow Christians...

Last year I started going to church. They soon found out that I play keyboard and invited me to join the music group.

I've been helping out almost every week since then, but this week I was late for the service because I had to help my mum. It's a long story, but she needed me to be there for her (she's just lost her dad and is really upset and is really low at the moment and I make all the difference to her life). So in the end I came in 20 minutes late for the service and missed the first few songs.

So this week I ring up to arrange the music for next week and the woman who organises the music was really not happy about me being late. She told me that I should have put worship before helping my mum, and that I let the church down, and that Satan is responsible for the circumstances that led to me being late for church.

This, to me, seems backwards, because worship is a personal thing (and I was praying while I was helping my mum). And the music group were fine without me (it's not like I'm the only keyboard player).

I personally think that the "lost sheep" parable applies in this situation: that the individual who needs help right now is more important than the herd (ie the church). But then again it's easy to take a parable out of context, or even to make it mean the opposite, so I could well be wrong!

What do you think? If my mum needs me again on a Sunday morning, should I ignore her and give the church priority?

 

Who needs you more?

 

For one worship IS a personal thing, I tell my Girlfriend all the time to worship at work and church. How? In your head! God dosen't need a keyboard and a full choir to hear your worship. Plus chuch is just fellowship! So you can be with like minded people and never meant to be a priority over doing God's Work which is HELPING others. There are so few Congergations for God and to many Congergations for MAN. It needs to change. Your mother needed you, you don't know what would happen if you didn't show up.

The last part really makes me mad. Satan didn't *MAKE* anyone do anything! given the greeting you had at your church I'd say they need to seriously pray about their priorites.

 

see this is the problem I have with organized religion is stuff like that. Your mom needed you. point blank period. If they can't understand that they need to look at themselves instead of down on you. And you need to find a new church if that is your thing. Personally I dont' think its necessary. If I could find one that I truley enjoyed going to I would. But sadly church has become more of a 'we are right you are wrong' thing. I'm sorry but thats how I feel. I believe in God but I don't see why I have to go to church to prove that to anyone

 

Key words:

Satan is responsible

Or so they say.

It's not your fault. I suggest you stop going to your church, if this is the best they can do ...

Well let's weigh both sides here ...

Either, your mom feels terrible because you couldn't help her.

Or, the church hears a little bit less music.

You decide.

 

Didn't Jesus get angry with the Pharisees because they wouldn't help someone on the Sabbath because they were too concerned with the laws and whatnot?

I think Jesus also said something like "they praise me with their lips, but not with their hearts".

I'd probably look for a new church if they told me those problems were "from satan". It sounds like they just want to use you

 

That is terrible that she would be mad at you!

 

Mind Gardens said it right. I don't know if you need to find a whole new church because of one idiotic woman, but you should have told that woman that she's wrong, because helping others is the whole point. Church is good for fellowship and such, but Jesus said whenever two people meet, that's church. It doesn't have to be a big structured litugy or anything. Helping your mother WAS church. Your priorities would be all wrong if you thought going to a special building for a special set of words to be said was really what Christianity was about. God doesn't care about outward motions of faith. What's inside is what counts.

 

You poor thing. The fact that you couldn't blatantly see the injustice in this and ask for advice is disturbing. No offence.

I have seen this happen to many people...and I have never understood. There are leaders like that at so many churches and people never seem to question it. I wish I could go back to my church and shake things up a little, the only reason they got away with the kinds of things they did is because the "good" people just wanted to avoid confrontation. I really feel your pain...stand up for yourself and others i say and forget about the consequences. Isn't that what the bible teaches?

 

Go tell them to dive in a fucking pool of sharks.

Religious nuts are all about themselves and their perceptions of "What God Wants"...

I think you should tell her to shove her church up her ass and go help your own Mother.

For fuck's sake! Can people not see what the hell is going on here?

 

Well said!

 

Even Jesus healed on the Sabbath.

In Matthew 12:7, Jesus says But if you had known what this means, "I desire mercy and not sacrifice," you would not have condemned the guiltless.

You were merciful. She was condemning.

 

If your congregants cannot understand that your family comes before all else, they have serious problems. Stress that your family needs you at this time and that you can be available when the ordeal is over. If they still cannot accept this, then maybe it is time to find another congregation where your needs will be respected.

If they were truly "doing the Lord's work," one of these people should ask what they can do for you.

 

Although church is good to go to... it is not a priority. I do not go to church every week.. shocking ay? : )

 

I prefer worshipping God over going to church.

 

Dude, you're a Christian?

 

Simple answer: there is a commandment about honoring your ma and pa; there is not one about going to church. And then mind what mindgardens said. Find a different church where they honor Christ instead of appealing to satan.

 

First of all, forgive her. People make mistakes.

The music director was obviously frustrated, or angry, or something other than where she was supposed to be with you. Her error was that she allowed her frustration to determine how she was going to treat you, rather than transcending it in order to see the bigger picture and behave according to what she professes to believe.

If you really want to get to her, in a good way, then show her how she should have behaved with you. Forgive her. Rise above it. Transcend her rough treatment of you, don't allow her lapse of grace to influence your behavior, treat her the way you want to be treated.

And feel free to speak with her about it. She also may be going through something.

Peace and Love

 

I agree with Hikaru Z. Go find another church to attend. I'm a pastors son and no one gives me flak if I don't attend church every Saturday.

 

Thanks to everyone who posted!

I obviously don't agree with the "tell them all to fuck off" sentiments! I think Varuna's answer was the best, but there was some great response here overall, like what Mind Gardens said.

Since this incident, I have prayed for the musical director who was rude to me, and making an effort to build our relationship. I actually feel a lot closer to her than I used to.

The issue of priorities hasn't come up since, and I don't want to embarass her by bringing it up. But I have realised that she was wrong in her opinion, and she was acting out of human frustration. So if push comes to shove, I will not submit to her wishes again like that, rather I will try to make her understand that helping my mum is more important than providing backing to a few songs.

Personally, I have always been of the opinion that the "quality" of the music has nothign to do with the quality of the worship. Rather, the music is just for our pleasure, whereas our worship is for The Lord's pleasure.