Learning experiences

Has anyone learned things from having dreads that they didn't necessarily expect to learn?

If anyone has read my really long post in "Introduce Yourself", then you know that I had dreads for the first time for about 7 or 8 years starting in the early 1990's. Personally, I did learn things from it that I didn't set out to.

I know that dreads are more popular now than they were 15 years ago, but they still might make finding housing and employment more difficult, especially in smaller communities. Have people had learning experiences related to that?

Also, white people, was this the first time that some of you had to contend with be judged by other white people before they even talked to you? Do you know what I mean? I found that racist white people assumed a lot about me because I had dreads and treated me badly. (Which was OK with me most of the time, but it was scary when they were cops and customs agents.)

Also, have your dreads benefitted you in unexpected ways? More than once I was mistaken for a member of the band and got into shows for free. (The bands never got mad. Some of them are still my friends today.)

Once I was on Salt Spring Island in BC when a reggae band was going to play. I had no money and I did not realize that the dreads standing nearby were the band. The bar owner came outside and said to me, because I was the dread closest to the door, "You guys were s'posed to go on like 20 minutes ago. What's the problem?" Thinking on my feet I said, "We're almost ready, hold on." He went back inside and the band came over and we had a laugh about it. We're still friends.

I'm just curious about people's experiences.

 

well i dunno if this counts, but dreads have opened my mind to see how judgemental and quick people come to a conclusion of who u are (or who they think u are). But dreads have helped me come outta my shell a bit. I like the phrase..."You don't grow dreads, they grow you".

 

For sure. People might assume stuff about what you eat, your taste in music, your spirituality, politics, ganja, even how promiscuous you are. (I don't know if guys experience that part, but as a girl, I had men actually tell me that they thought it meant I was easy, and I have always dressed modestly.)

 

Well for me... (im like a mouth into the dreading process) My hair is all crazy and knotting up. When im at school, if i dont explain what im doing with my hair. People think im a dirt bag who dosnt wash his hair. But once i tell them what im doing they just look at me, like if im trying to be black, or a rasta, or think im a huge stoner.

LoL anywho i find it funny at times, and frustrating at other times.

 

I think the biggest thing I've learned is how judgmental people really are. I was always the kid just blended in ... didn't really stand apart from the crowd. Then about a year ago I started to develop my own style, and I just started my dreads about 3 months ago ... since then I get alot of people giving me down right dirty looks. Like i'm a criminal just because of my hair! It goes to show why there is so much hate and violence in society today ... everyone is to quick to judge. It really is a shame ...

 

ahhh bein a freak for well over 20 years now,,, i dont pay a whole lot of attention to what people think when they see me anymore,,, as a youngster, my freakishness made me quite popular in the school arena,, as a younger adult,,, i got the ya gotta be a druggie or illiterate street bum,, etc etc etc,,, ... but the biggest thing i have learned over the years is it keeps idiots away,,, people that get to know me ,, do so for what i am not how i am dressed or how my hair is or my piercings n yadda yadda,,,,
oh n as far as dreads,,,, i have learned they are lil hairnappers n quik ones too...

 

Kyndveggie, that is almost the same as me..i always blended in, then said fuck it one day.

 

Yeah, totally ... and you know what? I'm a hell of alot happier now, being myself than I ever was trying to please everyone else. I like to think i've finally 'grown up'.

 

It does seem to help weed out the shallow, annoying people, eh? The people who would asume all of that and not hang out with a dread aren't people I'd want to hang out with anyway.

 

That reminds me of a reggae song ... I'm not sure of who sings it though, but it goes like this ...

Curly locks,
now that I'm a dread lock,
your momma says you shouldn't play with me,
but its alright ...

I know Sinead O'Connor covered it on the Throw.Down.Your.Arms album ... it might have been written by Lee Perry.
​

 

ya i feel more "in touch" with myself and my surroundings.. idont know how to put it in words, but i think everyone should have dreads just for the experience..

 

After I started natural dreads, the "naturalness" spread to other parts of my life as well. I am now a vegetarian, I use mostly Burt's Bees products, and I am recycling finally! I feel so much more in touch with the natural world. I have also stopped shaving, which slightly bothers my boyfriend, but not too much. He loves my dreads and like many other people have said, helps separate the people I wouldn't want to hang out with from the people I do. Mainly because the former group stares rudely, making them obvious. That said, I have met a couple cool people who have made positive comments.

Peace & love

 

I'm sure everyone heard this before ... but I love this quote, "Dreads aren't a hairstyle, they're a lifestly." And totally, since I started my dreads I really become a humble human being ... the vanity I once had is now gone. I would say that is the biggest perk of me getting the dreads ... I was a really vain person. Ashamed, but recovered.

 

I have always been an outcast so my dreads were not so much a wordly learning experience as they were a personal one. I cut them off a couple of years ago and currently have plain old long blonde hair... although i loved having dreads, they are not for me... I had them for a very long time and when i decided to get rid of them it was a very sad experience but i choose to do it for one reason... I had just gone through my third miscarriage and had found out that there was a very good chance that i could never have children... when i realized that addopting might be my only option i truly had to realuvate my life... I had to become more "mainstream" in order to fulfill many of my dreams... not only did i start college but i have made the choice to blend in... fighting the apperance battle to have the right to raise a child is a battle i would rather not fight when their are so many bigger issues in the world...
someday when i have a little girl she can brush my hair and play with it just like i did to my grandmas whne i was little... its the best memory i have from my childhood....

 

Wow Feelinfreakish,
I can totally understand why you'd make that choice.
I cut my dreads when I left my husband just to make myself look more presentable because I didn't want anything to make it easier for my husband and his family to take my baby away.

Well, I started coming over to this forum recently because I was letting mine grow again. Just washing it and not brushing it for a few weeks. But last night I conditioned it and took what was starting to form out because no matter what I did my scalp got itchy. I hate that. My mom (a dread) was disappointed, but she understands.

I also recently was talking to a rasta friend who is a nyahbinghi sistren. Talking to her reminded me of why I distanced myself from that whole scene a while back. The sexism. The negativity. I love dreads, but for me, because of my past and my family, if I have them, people will assume I'm back into things that I don't want to be into. So for me, I guess, right now it's liberating to not have dreads.

I still love them though.

 

I've always been different, so having dreads wasn't something that was so outta the "norm" for me. But having them has definitely been an interesting experience. I get looks everywhere I go. I have people staring at me constantly. I sub at a school and I get called a freak by some kids, and other kids think they're awesome and ask me about them. I have some people assume that I'm a vegetarian because of them or ask me if I'm goth (my dreads are black) and stuff like that. I get a lot of positive acknowledgment too. I was going through a toll booth and the guy in the booth was from Jamaica. We ended up talking for 2 minutes with traffic building up behind us, while he asked me about my dreads and told me I should go to the islands. He even pulled out his old driver's license and showed me a picture of when he had dreads. He called the big one a "bongo"...haha.

I guess I've just basically learned that some people can be really shallow and judgmental. However, at the same time, there are a lot of people who are open-minded and judge you on the person you are rather than on what you look like.

 

Cool stories, Artistofpeace!


You know what I always thought was weird/funny? When people that I didn't even know would ask to touch them. I mean, personally, I wouldn't go up to someone I don't know and ask to touch some part of them that I found unusual. (Get your mind out of the gutter! ) But people did. Kids and old people I didn't mind so much, but creepy men who seemed, I don't know, a little too interested, like they were staring at it so intensely maybe they were expecting my hair to say something,bugged me.

I'll tell you who didn't want to touch my dreads...Canadisn customs agents! LOL. Those ladies put gloves on and searched my hair. O asked them why and they explaine dthat they were afraid to touch it. I said, "Well, how do you think I feel, having you guys handling it?" Then those pervs went up my shirt and exclaimed, "You're not wearing a bra!" "Yeah, I know." Then I lied and said, "I'm not wearing undewear, either," so that they'd stay out of my skirt. They were mortified!

Those were the days.

 

lol What were they looking in your hair for.... some doobies ??... that would be a good place to stash stuff though...

Damn, im leaveing the country in like 5 mouths... thats going to get interesting...

 

KyndVeggie4Peace

uh
post some more pics of your dreads. i love the hat and the ear plugs.

 

I know I really need to, it's been like 3 months since i've posted any pictures ... I'm just so darn lazy! ha ha. I'll work on that today ... they should be up by tonight.