sorry i deleted this post in fear that the person i wrote it about would find it. i know i'm a baby and i don't think i can delete this thread...just edit it. ok i love you!
Yeah I have. Some were and still are successful and some sucked. Its sad to hear about your story Yes, it's very very very important to talk about it first and clear up where this is going and what kind of feelings are incorporated. It takes a mad lot of trust.
Having that type of relationship will never work out. It's like cheating intimacy. At the moment it feels awesome, but then after it turns out horribly. I guess the best thing to do would be to just sit down with him... well, actually I don't know where to go from there. I was on a real role but lost it.... SORRY!!! hope it works out
Ugh, I cant stress enough that if you cant be emotionally disattached you shouldnt have or try to have a fuck buddy. You have to be into it just for the sake of sex, no hopes for a relationship. If you get emotionally attached beyond the sex, youre screwed and setting yourself up to be hurt.
I had sex with a friend and that ruined everything, we can't even talk to each other now and to think he was a good friend. Stupid hormones.
they seem like a simple and fun idea at the time must usually end up with someone's feelings being hurt. The only experiences I've had have ended up with me or the partner becoming too attached. The friendships never really recover
All too true. Before either party enters into that kind of relationship, there has to be mutual agreement to not get emtionally attached. Another side effect is when a better more fulfilling relationship comes along, that person has to be okay with you having that in your recent past.
That's why I can't have a fuck buddy even though I want one bad -- because no one seems to share that frame of mind around here, and at my age. As much as we're told that teenage and young adult guys all just want sex, it's not all true. Every guy I've tried to get involved with in a fuck buddy setup has ended up wanted a relationship....and I've gotten pulled into two relationships I didn't even want as a result! Never again.
SO I am not opposed to the idea but I am realistic...it is not a possible concept...people like to lie to themselves and say they can be friends who fuck but it is not possible. Some one is going to get bored, move to more "friend" or if all else fails get attached..which WHOMPS...just saying...even those friends you do not "knock boots" with but still mess around...the friend ship is altered. There goes a great friend, now that is one less friend you can just chill with, talk about sex with other partners about, introduce to your parents, and share secrets with because they are going to use whatever info you give them against you...not deliberatly unless they are grimey buy none the less you can not tell your "fuck buddy" about as a friend that they are not cuttin it under the sheets cuz as a lover they are going to be offended...or you can not tell you lover that you would like to sleep with other people because as a friend they could take it personal...fuck buddies only work if you are not actual friends...no side conversation even knowing ones last name could "fuck" the whole thing up. SO I say if you are going to do it...DO it right and go old school and have a BOOTY CALL...just pick up the phone, meet up, get it on, and separate until needed...
Actually, my first time was with a "fuck-buddy". It was kind of stupid, because I just got to know him and two hours later my virginity was gone. I don't care about that though. After two months I noticed that i don't want this weekend-fucking anymore and quit it. But I think Fuck-buddy and first time is not very commendable. (Could have been better)
One thing that worked out good for me was a friendship I had with this girl. We didn't actually fuck, but we did jack'n'jill in front of the other. We didn't ever touch each other, just ourselves. No weirdness ever came up between us, especially when we parted ways.
I am going to have to disagree with most of the above POST. I have had several Fuck Buddies and it has worked out wonderfully for all involved with few exceptions. The key is to be honest and to trust that the other person has been honest. We each have different needs at different times in our lives. I have not "broken" up with anyone since my second wife 8 years ago. But I have had many lovers, most of which are still friends. The others are friends who have just moved on, and I am no longer an important part of their life. I might have been a transition friend to get them through the moment. I do not feel used, because we lived in the moment and both enjoyed what we did, and didn't change our expectations after we started. I have always told my friends that I am not a monogamous person. I also am not the jealous type. I have always encouraged them to enjoy the company of other lovers, and to share the experiences with me. (I also encourage safe sex) The trouble begins when you take a new idea (open sex) and apply old rules (traditional relationships). You have to have different rules for new ideas. You can establish the rules before you begin, and if things begin to change along the way, discuss the option of changing the rules with the other party. But if they are not on the same page to change, don't accuse them of using you. We all grow and sometimes in different directions. Enjoy the moment and look forward to the future. I do hope you are able to save your friendship, sex is not a fair trade for a best friend. But sex with a best friend can be BEST SEX, so I do encourage it. James
