I'm sorry to sound so whiny lately..spilling all of my problems out on you and all. I guess it's just the winter or something. Well, I was wondering if anyone else has relationship problems as a result of their spiritual meanderings. I for one have become quite disenchanted with the way of being of some of my older friends, and can't function properly around them at all anymore. I simply sit quietly and stare, or pretend that I'm enjoying myself, acting all fake to keep them happy. I know they think that I have betrayed them, or that I'm going schizo or something. I don't want to drink all the time, I don't want to sit around and complain about how shitty life is(hypocrit I know, but you know what I mean), I don't want to be perma-high. I just want to be quiet, or discuss spiritual things. That is obviously quite boring to them. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings! Another thing, with my girlfriend, I know that I get on her nerves with my spiritual rambilings, but it seems to be all I know anymore. Sometimes I think its a good thing, but other times I think that it really gets on other her nerves. My personality of old seems to be slowly diminishing, and its harder for me to act like a good affectionate boyfriend. I still love her dearly, I'm just not as attached as I was.
I went through the same phase. Sometimes you need to grow up with God, instead of in a social group. Eventually you will find equilibrium. Sometimes, I go out and act wild with my friends, we have a great time- we haven't lost our childhood. Sometimes, I peacefully focus upon God. I did go through a stage in which I thought it was necessary to give up all the things I had enjoyed with my friends- that these things were no longer fulfilling- they were empty, but I had forgotten my childhood- me.
What you're experiencing is typical of the self-realization process, it's a higher taste that develops and you begin lose interest in things that aren't connected to spiritual life...renunciation manifests of its own accord. Kharakov made some good points...we've got to stay grounded as well and not lose touch with friends, family, and sense of humor. Relationships...they have to play out the way they play out. I've been married close to 27 years and my wife doesn't share my spiritual outlook to a large degree, but does have a strong one of her own and a sense of the importance of spiritual life, period. If she hadn't had that outlook, maybe our relationship wouldn't have survived, because our life has definitely taken "the road less traveled" in major ways.
Sometimes you need to separate yourself from peers to really find what you are looking for inside yourself (in your case, spirtuality). As far as your spiritual ramblings to your girlfriend, if she loves you and wants you to become the best you can be on the inside, she will listen and encourage your enlightenment. If she truely cares for you, she will listen to your ramblings all day.
Yes - both Spook and Kharakov are right. You need to get the balance. It's not unusual to feel a bit isolated if one is into the spiritual - but really the thing is that we have an outer worldly life to live, and it's no good getting into a situation of real isolation because you cut yourself off from people. Drinking less is def. a good thing. You may want to perhaps seek out some different types to hang out with in the future - but it's all really common sense. Unless you intend becoming a monk or something similar, then it's a question often of adapting to circumstances. If you try to push too far in the direction of 'giving up' everything, it can often be counter productive because it can lead to a backlash, a reversal. You can have a full spiritual life and be married or whatever - it doesn't matter really. The thing is to try to realize a balance and harmony in things. And it's easier to concentrate on spiritual life from a secure worldly foundation - relationships, economics, all that.
::nods:: I totally understand what you mean RHS...its damned hard being a teenager on this path (actually its hard being anyone on this path)...and sometimes its really hard for people to understand you or why you value spirituality (without them thinking you are a religious nutcase)...but you know what...they need to value and love you for who you are...and if they don't...then I don't know if I'd call them friends. I have a very similar situation sometimes (esp. with friends that drink and are depressed a lot...)...and I just try to be there for them...I love them very much...and though I wish that we could sit and talk about spiritual matters all the time...there is a time and place...and if the time and place are right...sometimes we do....but other times we go out and play frisbee or watch movies....you know? A few have said it here and its true...you need to find a balanced living...to be in the world...but not of it.... Share your love, be with friends, laugh much, and live...but inwardly offer it all to God....and perhaps one day you will find a friend who is close enough to you to understand your spiritual endevours...and perhaps walk the road to self-realization for a few blocks with you. *peace and love* Nicole
Definantly sounds like you know what I mean Nicole. It's a real bummer that spirituality is frowned upon this days...with mindlessness taking its place. And I totally know what you mean about trying not to come off as a religious nutcase, but unfortunatley thats the reputation spirituality has now adays. So sad.
Well in the wisdom of George Harrison: That's the Way it Goes: There's a man talking on the radio What he's saying I don't really know Seems he's lost some stocks and shares Stops and stares He's afraid I know That's the way it goes There's a man talking of the promised land He'll aquire it with some Krugerrand Subdivide and deal it out Feel his clout He can stoop so low And that's the way it goes There's an actor who hopes to fit the bill Sees a shining city on a hill Step up close and see he's blind Wined and dined All he has is pose And that's the way it goes There's a fire that burns away the lies Manifesting in the spiritual eye Though you won't understand the way I feel You conceal, all there is to know That's the way it goes
urvaarukham iva bandhanaat mrityor mukshiyamaamritaat. Just as a cucumber may I become detached from the bondages of death and touch the immortal. Just as a cucumber??! A cucumber grows on a vine. When it is ripe, the cucumber detaches from the vine, but remains in place, as it was before. It is only when the strong wind blows and the whole plant shakes, that the cucumber remains calmly resting where it was on the ground. So too, being in the world, transacting with all these people, let us remain detached. It is a play, watch it, enjoy it, play in it. Remain always aware of your aloof nature. Then when the winds of death and strife come, you find that you are free - untouched by it.
The explanation is not given. The verse just says like a cucumber. The student who is tuned to the master will observe and understand the example in his meditation on the words of the shastras.
Something else about cucumbers is that one has to look after the plants with great care. Watering has to be done esp. carefully, as water splashed on the leaves will make them wither and die.
Dear Mr. Razor Hot Sticks, or the guy who has them atleast, Anyway, I used to have the same problems with people, but then I realized that I don't have to give up my personal life with friends in order to detach myself, I can act as my self and God will slowly divert me from the material path to the spiritual, ofcourse, that does not mean you go crazy engaging in all sorts of vile things, moderation in everything is required to have a balanced life- both spiritual and material, so go to that new movie, enjoy that ice cream, but do it in moderation and you should engage in other activities, other than reading spiritual things... this needs a little wisdom in that you will realize that true spirituality is not discussing spiritual life , but actually following it (I have to read this post of mine to myself haha) . Hare krishna!
"our frineds found us becoming dull. Gurdjieff said, 'There is worse to come... he is an interesting man who lies well... you have already begun to die. It is a long way yet to a complete deaht but still a certain amount of silliness is going out of you. You can no longer decieve yourselves as sincerely as you did before. You have now gotten a taste of truth'" - Ouspensky It seems this is happening with you razor hot sticks...
