when i first met my boyfriend we didnt really got on well with each other. we were constanlty arguing at least once a week and life seemed a nightmare with him. then one night i got chatting to an ex on the pc and we arranged for me to go to his one night. i went to his and even though i didnt want it, we ended up having sex and ive felt so gulty since then. this was over 5 years ago and if i say to my boyfriend about it he will feel hurt and upset and leave me, and i dont want to hurt him, this doesnt affect his life, if he never knows he will never feel the hurt and pain. our life is much beter now (perhaps made better from this awful mistake) as we ahve grown closer and we are now soulmates. am i a bad person for wanting to taek this secret to the grave with me and not wanting to cause anyone pain and hurt? i have learnt my lesson and would never ever do this again, im a positive person now and even if someone offered me £1 million to do it again, i would never do this again, thats how strongly i feel
I'm sure many will disagree with me, but I think your best idea is to keep this secret. If you tell him the truth, he will be very hurt and probably leave. That being said, if he ever finds out another way, he'll be hurt even more. In the end, it's your own judgement call, but personally, I'd not tell.
honestly.... if you tell him about it.... who would you be doing a favor? you. you'd be doing yourself a favor by getting rid of some of the guilt... however, that is your guilt to bear and for that reason... and, of course, because it can do no good to the present sitation, i wouldnt tell him. just learn from your mistake and worry about the present and future.
If he is truely your soulmate he will understand and it will ease the burden off of you. It may hurt him, but he will still love you. I don't think you're a bad person, you just made a mistake. If you want to take it too the grave with you then that's your decision, but you shouldn't have to feel guilty for the rest of your life with him. If he truely loves you, he will understand. It was 5 years ago, maybe you could just explain it to him like you've done to us. I wish you the best of luck.
Nope not bad....But if he truly cares for you and loves you don't you think he will understand. I mean you don't have a baby from your Ex that he thinks is his. But this is your choice, your not a bad person at all. Obviously you regret it and it doesn't sound like its going to happen again I mean you learend your leason. I think its 5 years to late. But all im saying is if its going to haunt you tell him. If not leave it at that and keep quite.
Everyone makes mistakes.Forgive yourself,forget about it and move on.Open mouth=he's miserable.close mouth=he's happy.Finis.
I agree with the previous posts. But want to add to forgive yourself. Life is too short to let guilt eat you up. It sounds like he is very lucky to have you and the mistake is something that has worked in his favor. You will never do it again, and if you ever find out that he has, you will be more forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't make a second one by admitting to the first. James
i say say nothing he may not leave you but it will ruin the level of trust he has for you if you have learned your lesson then that is all that matters
I agree that if he really is your soulmate that he would still love you. We all make mistakes and I'm sure that if he loves you (which, it seems like he does very much) he won't hold it against you. We all make mistakes and he should appreciate you for telling him this becuase of the enormous amount of courage required to do so. He should respect you for telling him becuase it happened 5 years ago and you still feel upset/guilty about it, which in my mind proves that you love him. I obviously don't know him, but if he leaves you because you revealed something to him that was hurting you inside, he isn't your soulmate.
