I'm in love with the most wonderful girl in the world. It was love at first sight. We have everything in common. I think about her every second of the day, I dream about her at night. I can look into her eyes for hours, and I can't imagine myself with any other girl. I want us to be together forever. The problem is - we've only dated for a week! And an even bigger problem is that I am very honest. I couldn't tell any of my previous girfriends that I loved them (I guess I didn't), and could barely even kiss them. But now that I feel all this, I just had to tell her. I know she feels the same way, or at least similar, but she has a hard time believing me. She's been hurt many times in the past, and she thinks I am saying these things too soon, thinks I don't really mean them. So what do I do? Should I just hide my true feelings for a while?
Well, I think it's important to understand the difference in the kind of love you're talking about (infatuation, puppy love, or being "in love"), and the kind of love people develop after only being together for an amount of time. They're very different things, and while all good relationships have both, almost none have that "real" love until after hard work and time has been put into the relationship. That kind of love is more than just a feeling, its a very real bond that goes beyond just emotions. It's pretty safe to say that if you've just met this girl a week ago, you're probably just feeling puppy love, and telling her that you love her is probably freaking her out just a little bit. Take Jimmydean's advice- just chill out, don't take your incredible feelings so seriously, and just enjoy being with the girl. Also, most people don't develop those feelings so fast. My advice, borne of personal experience, is to take a long, hard look at why you have those intense feelings, because you really hardly know this girl. Are you really just in love with her, or are you also in love with the idea of being in love? Are you rushing into these feelings because you want to be in love? Is she filling a void in your life where you want there to be someone to love, and you've purposefully put her there to fill that need? Some questions to ask yourself. If you're head over heels infatuated, some personal friends of yours might be able to give you an objective view on the matter. Best of luck figuring it all out!
he said they'd only been DATING for a week. that doesn't mean they met a week ago. so i'd say, love her. show her how much you love her. go completely insane over her, make her your whole world. because you don't know how long it'll last. you never know when a safe is gonna drop from the sky and kill you, or her. so celebrate the amazing thing you've found. don't take it for granted. i'm so jealous.
hey i didnt say not to enjoy yourself or to take it for granted. i just said after a week you should keep your cool. enjoy the hell out of it though, and yeah be ultra insane, just remember that you better stay insane otherwise she will just think you did whatever to get into her pants and thats it. Thats the reason to move slowly, in this way you can show her that you truley love her for her physically and emotionally, not just physically. just do what feels right
Uhhh...... Fuck what these people have to say, hide yer damn feelings boy, they are made to confuse you. Just let the relationship develop naturally, and for the love of Satin don't drop the "L Bomb" until you know she wants to hear it.
Never drop the L Bomb until you're months into it. The only time I've had it uttered within a few weeks' gap getting to know someone, I nearly punched him in the face. He DARED utter it without knowing anything about me? It was as disappointing as it was so mindlessly a mistake. Months later, he admitted that he had felt awful that I reacted the way I did when he said he loved me. I said I was sorry, and I was - that it had to happen that way. And the guy actually went to spiteful lengths to get back at me when I confronted him why he was behaving that way. I was just flawed with the way someone who professed he could care so deeply, retaliate out of selfishness or some kind of insecure embarassment. Did he not understand that that word means much more than some kind of an affection? I tried to explain to him but it was like speaking to a child. In the end, as all the warning signs predicted, he was as flimsy as they come. His antics made no sense and he was inconsiderate in many ways to the nth degree. I'm glad it's over but I know now I was likely just a stepping stone or an escape for him at the time from other issues in his life that he couldn't handle properly. Again, the bottomline - we didn't know each other. We never did progress beyond that. "Love" was premature. It was an infatuation of the self reflected in someone else's eyes. Perhaps on both sides. _______________ Also, share your affections in your actions and the things you do for her. Be mindful and considerate. She will see that you care for her in that way. All the flowers and the words you lavish are immaterial. I'm not impressed with any form of great emotion from a guy until months later. Even then, I close one eye. "Sure, honey." Just not receptive to it and I can't explain it. If he can prove consistently that he's who he really is and faithful, time will tell. That's all. Chill out, and enjoy her. DON'T drown her. It's overwhelming and if you do decide to go all out, be prepared for her to get sick of you very quickly and run in opposite direction. It's not easy being honest with someone, nor is it easy being on the receiving end of, "hey.. we need to chill out or take a break." In the end, if you're careful I believe you'll find a way to balance out into a pace you're both comfortable with.
definfitly take your time...those 3 little words have a powerful meaning and are defintly not to just be throuwn around liek candy...
I don't believe in hiding feelings, that wont do you any good. But I would say, choose your words carefully. The problem with the LOVE word, is that it tends to mean a lot of different things, to different people. So I find it beter to use other words. As for the theory of hiding your feelings because it is so early and "a safe might fall", the problem with that is: You already feel the way you feel. Expressing it or hiding it is not going to change that, and there is ALWAYS the chance that a safe will fall, so while it hasn't fallen, enjoy each other. In the end, you have to do what is right for you.
