Have any of you had long term love success (10 years or more) with someone who was almost completely different from you, in terms of beliefs, values, etc? If so, how do you handle the difference? Like if your SO is a spendthift and you are frugal? I'm dealing with some extreme changes in my SO and I love him more than life itself, I'm not entirely sure how to handle it or wonder if saying anything will do more harm than good. Thanks..
Well I am going to go on what DtP said to say do YOU handle differences well? I knew a couple in high school that was very different and dated for 3 years or something. Its not 10 years, but still.
would depend on what the differences are: I've been with Paul 11 years this may (married 10 in June) he's omni, drinks some, smoked when we got together (no longer) really high energy and social when at shows & has a bizzare sleep schedule. I call him hummingbird energy. I'm more like turtle energy. What's going down with your swetie?
Things have gotten better since I first posted. We view money on two completely different scales. He's capitalistic and I'm simplicity. He used to say people like me are never going to accomplish much in life because of how some view money and all that. I say used to because he started to realize that he wasn't respecting how I felt. I respect what he believes he needs to do (he has two jobs and i dont' see him much, but i understand that is what he feels he needs to be doing right now). But after the other day, I think we starting to see eye to eye on at least the respect part. I think that's all I can ask for.
Well, frankly, the only real solution for that is to find a happy medium, where both of you compromise and meet in the middle. It sounds like thats a difference that you can definitely work with, though. There lots of differences that can be a much more intractable, because even though its easy to fight over money, you can almost always find a solution if both people are willing to budge a bit. Whether or not you find a suitable compromise, however, the thing to ask yourself is: is this what I really want in a relationship? Don't throw away a great relationship just because things are tough in some ways and there's some downpoints, either, because most problems can be solved if both people are willing, mature, and committed. But on the other hand, if you honestly don't think you're going to be truly happy with him, then leave. Life is too short to bother settling for less.
