hey, me and my gf hav been going out for bout 9 months, and hav been sorta at it for the last 6. trouble is, every time we do it, she complains that she's hurting down there, and is always worried about getting cystitis which i suppose doesnt help her relax that much. the point im getting at is, whenever we do it we can only seem to do it in the basic position and were both getting bored of that. we tried having her on top the other nite but it just hurts her too much to even go in a tiny little bit!! also whenever i finger her, its damn near impossible to get 2 fingers in without it hurting her, and sometimes even 1 finger hurts her, turns her off, and its another nite wiv my hand. really annoying. on top of it all, whenever we do it it only goes in about half way, i dont fink we hav ever had sex an had my whole dick inside of her. is that normal? or is that only in porn films lol? i kno a lot of girls hurt after the first few times, and i hoped it would only be the first few times too but it aint! and its not even like we dont do enough foreplay. we normally go for like half an hour maybe more before having sex! its just been like a constant problem and really getting the both of us down! any one know how to remedy this? has anyone else had the same or similar problem? help me please!!!!
beleive me, tried that loads. it either simply doesnt work, or hurts her even more. its like, anything we do down there makes it hurt! so dnt think thats the problem, but will giv it another go.
more foreplay. 30minutes isn't enough for some girls (isnt' enough for me some days) does she use a dildo at all at home? Any kind of insertion for masturbation? She may have to try and stretch herself out a little
geez more than half an hour?? no she doesnt use dildos, or masturbate, and until quite recently never used a tampon because they hurt her. u reckon thats the problem?? :H i fink quite a while ago an ex-bf tried fingering her dry and just sorta forced it in and gave her thrush. i fink that mite also hav sumthin to do wiv it too, coz when ever i go to stick anything at all in her instant reaction is to tighten up down there and her legs tighten up too. guess i'll jus hav to keep trying! also get her to try inserting a few...things. thanks for your help! any more suggestions wud be useful!! thanks
There is a mis chance that she is suffering from a sort of vaginismus. You'd better take her to a specialist.
absolutely... foreplay is the best part, in my opinion at least. Not that intercourse isn't amazing and wonderful, but everything leading up to it is incredibly good. But foreplay doesn't just mean you pleasuring her, it means her pleasuring you too it sounds like, at the least, it's contributing ot hte problem. And that's not something that you can fix for her, or make her fix. She has to choose to work on it herself. You may want to try buying her a vibrator, one of those slim-line ones to start with so she can slowly get used to it. The slim-line ones aren't much more than two-fingers wide, if that. I've never heard of fingering causing yeast infections before, usually it's due to letting moisture (not normal pussy moisture, things like sweat and such) sit there for a little while. If she's on the pill, it can make women more susceptible to yeast infections as well (particularly the triphasic ones, ones where the hormone dose is different each week). However, having a traumatic or uncomfortable experience (especially if it was one of her first experiences) can make future ones awkward for her, it probably has given her some trust issues when it comes to people getting close to her and entering her. Talk it out with her
noooo, unless 17 is too young? in fact her b-day is comin up so shes almost 18. cheers for all ur help tho
she probably has a small vagina, like her cervix is lower down in her vaginal canal. ..i felt like a doctor with all those words...
I think the problem is pretty clear, she just needs to be loosened up down there. I've dealt with girls so tight that even one pinky up there felt like it was going to rip the opening of the vagina. You just gotta keep working with it and working up to using two fingers (3 if you want to work up to that, personally i don't use 3 though), keep having sex and it'll stretch out and it'll be a lot more pleasurable for her. Personally it sounds like she may have a mental issue with sex and she's just using that it hurts as an excuse...The hint is that she's so afraid of whatever condition you said, that shows that she's worried about sex, then she's also using hurting to stop things...I'd wager it's mostly a mental thing.
I'm 20 and I've had that same problem godonlyknows. For the longest time my boyfriend wasnt able to get inside of me. Basically, I'm just really small. Using toys and astroglide, in time do work. And, lots of foreplay is very important. Ask her what she really likes... what really turns her on... make her feel like she is in charge.... just go slow and easy and I think in time, she will start to losen up and your sex lives will be awesome.... She's probably not had that many sexual partners... not enough time to really losen up... that was my case I guess. Good luck!
Also, you should talk to her about a few things... has she ever had any sexual abuse? Or does her family think premarital sex is wrong? If she's having doubts or feeling guilty about having sex, this could contribute to the problem as well. Talk to her.
