I realized the other night that I'm in love with my girl. I'm not sure whether it's time to tell her yet or not. On one hand she's not looking for anything serious, but on the other hand, things are kind of serious. Tonight she seemed.....different, but in a good way. She seemed more comfortable than she's ever been, and that says a lot considering how comfortable we have been with each other. Part of it's on me though. I'm scared because something seems off to me. At first I thought it was that something was missing, but now it seems as if something seems off because I can't find a reason to push her away; which is what I usually do when I'm scared like this. Dammit, I think I remember why I liked being alone, but she makes me never want to be alone again.
If you love her, then tell her. If it's meant to be, she won't run in the other direction upon hearing so.
Wait, if the feelings are there then wait because they surely won't go away. Let things develop more before you tell her. Awww I am so happy for you
The man who is now my husband didn't tell me he loved me until after we'd been together something like 18 months. It hurt. I knew he really did, but then I was constantly doubting, questioning why was i with this guy so afraid of commitment that he couldn't say the "L" word. It really hurt me terribly. I can't tell you how many times I cried because I told him I loved him, and he just grunted, or pretended to be asleep to avoid saying anything in return. Do you want to torture this woman you claim to love? If you really love her, tell her. If she loves you, and your love is true, things will work out. If she doesn't, or if you don't really love her, better to find out sooner rather than later that it just isn't going to work.
I think that TCF is in a very different relationship than the one you described... they're still a fairly new couple, they aren't terribly serious yet and I don't think the chick has said she loves him to him yet. Refusing to tell someone the truth while they cry at you, well, that's ridiculous and cruel. Not saying it when you aren't entirely sure of her feeligns for you, when it's still a fairly new relationship is a different thing. I second what Hiro said... what a little, see how you feel in a few more days, see where this relationship leads and I'm happy for you too TCF!!!
I don't think it's so different, we were a new not-so-serious couple once, even if it was over a dozen years ago. We were both in our early twenties, both suffering the effects of very toxic past relationships and evil exes. I didn't cry in front of him, but I did cry about him not telling me. He wasn't being intentionally cruel, he was scared. He was afraid I would treat him the way his ex girlfriends had. But he was always the one to point out that he was NOT my ex husband, and would never do to me the things my ex had done... Kinda funny in hindsight, now that we're this old married couple. But I think I know exactly where the OP is coming from. I think not telling would be the same as lying to her. Tell her if you really feel that way about her. If you aren't sure, then don't. It really is that simple. edited to add If you really really love her, she already knows it. Not telling her is just putting off the inevitable. It will either make or break the relationship, but do you really want to waste your time with a woman who isn't right for you? Don't play head games with her, this woman you say you love. Be open and honest with her. If this is The One, you'll both know it!
Do I really want to waste my time with somebody who isn't right with me? Quite frankly, yes. She's made an impact on my life already. She's the reason I haven't fled the state to avoid jail time. She doesn't do drugs and is against me doing them as well. She's a very positive influence; one that I really am benefitting from being with right now. Even if this isn't for the long term, it's still nice to have while it lasts.
As usual, you kind of lost me. I find it to be extremely conscious. To know that having her even for the moment will be a positive factor in my life seems like a healthy decision. To lose her, or to let her go, seems to me to be a selfish decision based on what's best for me now. In the long run what we have may end up hurting, but it will have brought me to a better place. I will learn from this experience, regardless of how it comes to a close. While I'm experiencing it, however, it is making a positive change in my life. It's also bringing me a sort of happiness for now, even though, as I said, it may end in emotional pain. I believe this to be a good, healthy balance. I could die getting out of bed each morning, yet I still get out of bed. I see no reason to get out of bed, but I see a reason in letting this run its course. In short, I have decided, I will not tell her until I believe she's ready to hear it, or until I am atleast ready to put that burden on her to make the decision of whether or not she wants this to go the distance or simply stay the way it is.
