I just got paid. 160 dollars. Spent 60 in a day, not on drugs though, but oh fuck! Havent done coke in like 2 months, but Ive also been completely and utterly broke the past 2 months, and I dont wanna do it, but I do! Ya know what I mean? It started with me just wanting a half g, and I told myself I would snort it instead of smoke it, but then I figured I might as well get a full g, and snort half and smoke half, but then I realized it wont stop there, well, Ive known that all along but still, I dunno. Im just now starting to feel better. THe last 2 months have been the worst of my life, Im finally not thinking about crack every second of every day, I finally stopped dreaming about crack, I finally stopped thinking every little white speck on the floor is a rock, and now that I have the money for it its like, why not? This is the only money I'll have for awhile but Im afraid that if I give in now this will haunt me for the rest of my life but if I dont get it I might be able to beat it. But then again I might just go another six months and then start again. I think the only danger will be if I rock it up, but I dont really like coke unless its rocked anyway, so its looking like Im just a tad screwed. ANd maybe I'll get the gram and smoke it all and never touch coke again for the rest of my life. Fuck a flying fucking duck man............ Sorry for the rambling, that was like a big ol' rock, er, weight off my chest.
Which sounds like the responsible decision to you... Buy the coke and risk throwing off the balance of your life? or Give up while your ahead. It may be hard, but it can be acheived. Make the right decision.
I've never been addicted to anything so I dont know what addiction is like but I'd say dont do it if you think you can avoid it.
it all comes down to if u think u have the discipline to not start using it regularly... but from the way u worded ur post, i'd advise against using cocaine again
