Why are women so intimidating?

Alright, this is just a thought question, but really this was the scenario:

Jedi's friend: "its so hard to get a girlfriend man, all these pretty looking ones are so bitchy, they hate you "
Jedi: "thats not true , you should be more open, you know what lets do an experiment, let me ask a girl out"
Jedi's friend: "Haha alright the first girl that walks through that door (we are in a cafeteria)"
Jedi: Alright, (a girl walks through ,followed by a guy... fine she has a boyfriend). then followed by another girl unrelated to the first two people. Sits right next to our table... chinese looking.
Jedi's friend hints Jedi to ask her out.
She is eating pizza, Jedi Starts the conversation: Hi
She looks at me as if she wants to kill me, you know that look that hippychickmommy has on her signature (no offense hippychickmommy, your pose in the picture is what is frightening, not you... yea I saw it here on this forum, it was that look , only it was 3 times worse (scary) like she was going to kill me.
Then, I say " nevermind",
Now she really wants to know so she says in a pissed off way "WHAT?"
I say, "no forget it" (my friend is laughing his ass off in the background) , she looks at him and me and says "WHAT?"

Then , I get even scared and say "its okay" , and my friend says "don''t be scared Jedi " , Then she says "you wanted to say something to me or no"

Then I gather my strength and in my embarrassment, get the courage enough to ask her in an unfaltering manly voice " So, what would you say if some one comes up to you and says he thinks you are very beautiful" . She says " LIKE HOW?"
I say, "no just like that just, just comes up to you and says you look beautiful in an admiring way, I heard girls are flattered when they hear stuff like that , I guess thats not true, I mean you are girl and you obviously wouldn't want to hear anything like that"
She says " No, I would be flattered, I would say thank you"
Jedi: "sighing from the escape says well okay I just wanted to say that"

She says : "Thank you"

**Jedi sighs thinking he prevented an embarrasing situation for himself**, why are women like that, I mean why don't they acknowledge that the person speaking to them might be sincere, might be really asking them out, might be really wanting to know them , why don't they give the guy a chance, I mean he might not be so "cute" or handsome or anything like that, I mean who could be so gifted as your good friend jedi here , but really though , why so much intimidation? she scared the hell out of me, !!!although i didn't show it externally by the way!!!.

 

Sometimes girls are insecure with themselves...granted that is not a reason to be rude to someone... ::shrug:: I don't know. I can't say I'm like most girls...so answering your question m'dear wouldn't really be answering it...heheh

 

A lot of men who use lines like this are not trying to be nice (I think you were trying to be nice, Jedi, FTR) and we get tired of being hit on. So, womyn get bitchy, because they are trying to protect themselves before they get used and hurt. Almost all of us have been hurt by dudes who pretended they were interested in us as a PERSON and only wanted to screw and then tell their freinds about it,(often telling their freinds they got some, even if they didn't) and never even call back.

So, when girls do this, they are often protecting themselves from what they have experienced (or know too many friend's who have experienced) in the past.

I mean, if a chick came up to you and said, "Oooo, you have nice strong arms, do you wanna go to my place?" And you did, and she had you move her furniture, and then didn't return your calls ever, and then an other chick a few weeks later came up to you and said, "Oh, you are really tough looking and cool. Do you want to come for a ride with me?" And you did, and she then expected you to beat up her old boyfreind, so you did, and she never calls you again, and pretends you don't exist. And this keep happening over and over again, you would be wary of girls who were "trying to be nice" by complimenting you. Then one day, a girl is really trying to be nice, with a compliment and you think she is either trying to get you to move her couch or drive her to the airport, and she gets shot down. Same kinda thing.

It sucks then when someone is sincere, because then people are on the defensive. I am sorry you got hurt. I know you meant well.

 

I find people in general intimidating.
I don't know if it's because I'm shy, but unless a guy says something disrespectful to me, I'll always be friendly. I couldn't give anyone a death stare, let alone some guy that is just saying hello. Only half the men I meet are deviant idiots, the other half are pretty genuine and wouldn't push or harass anyone. I guess those odds are enough for me to give all men I come into contact with the benifit of the doubt.
If people are rude/nasty or sexual towards me I get really sensitive and tend to look down and not say anything and then despite me using all my willpower to say
"dont go red, dont go red, dont go red etc..."
I go so red that my brown skin cant even disguise it and then I get laughed at.
But my friend is generally defensive when guys speak to her and if I am out and a guy speaks to us and I answer, my friend generally quite loudly says
"Ignore him, he just wants to get laid"
So I guess that answers it, women are tired of being approached like that, so they fail to see that not all experience falls into that category.
when you have bad experiences people get defensive (like men who say all women are succubus's), Its not ideal but humans are very subjective.

 

hmm this raises another question for me, why are women so confusing?!

 

So you can't go ahead and say "Hi, you look nice and I am..." then how should a woman be approached? You see this is a serious question because as much as i regret this, men have emotions too and the thing is, some just give up or don't try often because they finally get the courage to ask a girl out ... and it turns out that she is not only nasty, bitchy, but she also sometimes she insults you and makes you feel like a complete loser and also discourages you from ever trying to ask a girl out ever again, that sort of rejection really hurts- alot.

I mean its hard to just to go up and talk with out looking like a complete idiot, but if you go there and realize that that was a cosmological fault it does not really help.

 

Oh thank you Maggie Sugar for being very understanding, but really I was not hurt , I prevented myself from getting hurt, she was ofcourse going to hurt me if I didnt' just back away a little.

 

I never said that, all I mean is that it is a vicious cycle that demonstrates the stupidity of subjectivity and the human condition.
Female point of view: I have been betrayed in situations where a man has approached me, so to avoid that I will dismiss any man that approaches me.
Male Pont of view: I have been humiliated when approaching women, so to avoid that, I will not approach women.

The whole thing is stupid and shows people cannot look past their own experience. That is why I have always avoided dating and being a part of the social illusion. Untill people start seeing every experience as unique and an opportunity to learning, this ego defensive behaviour will continue.

All we can do is be open to all and not let those who aren't affect our actions.

 

what Maggie Sugar said...

there are also days where I simply do not want to bother with people, where I'm having a shitty day and I don't want to talk with someone else who I can't just vent to. So, if they say "hi", I give them a short and abrupt "hi" back without eye contact, and continue reading/eating/whatever. If they don't get that obvious hint, I'll get even shorter with them, because I just can't make myself be nice to people when I don' thave to when I'm having a really really bad day

 

People in general are confusing...I don't get them at all...I just nod, smile, do my best to be the best person I can be...and if they like me, fine, if they don't..oh well. You know?
::shrug::

 

Sigh, you are right, forget I said anything. I will give it another try later , if I can... or I can always go back to arranged marriages.

 

How about a polite, "I am not interested, I am sorry..." or maybe "I am having a bad day, I do not really feel like conversing"? just a thought...

 

Yeah the whole male/female relations thing is so riddled with misunderstanding simply cause most people aren't honest about the way they truly feel.
I can understand the wanting to give up.
*Sigh* arranged marriage does seem so much simpler.
Some days I wish I wasn't a romantic idealist who sees marriage as a sacred choise. Sure would make everything a little easier.
But what can one do, no lessons in an easy existence huh?
Gotta keep trying, forget the bad, the good will follow.
May the force be with you ...

 

I try that if being a bit curt doesn't work, but honestly, being curt has a much much much higher rate of success than trying to explain myself. Guys tend to latch onto that and start asking why I'm having a bad day, what htey can do to fix it.... arg, I just want to sit and be silent sometimes yaknow? Saying you have a bad day is just an invitation for them to pry into what's making your day unpleasant

 

People at school think I'm intimidating. I never talked to anybody and then people would try to start conversations with me but without knowing it I scared them by staring at them. Some people think I'm creepy. I'm not actually trying to be intimidating, I'm just really bad at talking to people in certain situations.

 

Face it. We're evil. Run away from us.

 

???????????????????????? ...................................... . . ......

 

What? I'm female. I can say from experience that we're evil and it's not chauvenistic crap.

 

not all of us are

 

I don't view people as being inherently evil.