and kids. not gay, but want to try gay sex. my wife is disgusted with the idea of even going near my ass, (but the sex is still great) and this is something i've wanted to try ever since i was like 15. i love my family too much to hurt them. so does that make me selfish for thinking this way? it's not even like i know any other guys that i could have sex with, its just something i really want to do. so is that wrong or immoral? every action i take has a consequence. should i decide to have gay sex and she finds out, she will leave and my family will be destroyed. but if i dont do this, these desires will never go away. it's quite a dilemma
What makes you think that the desires will go away if you do act on it? It may make the desires even stronger. Cheating on your wife is still cheating even if you don't get caught, and even if you do a sexual act she won't engage in and even though other cheating bastards do it every single day. What you are saying is, should you risk your wife and kids to act on this? I've never had a wife and kids. I suppose there are some bitchy wives out there but it ain't the kids fault if they are brats, so I doubt it's worth risking losing them just for a poke in the butt. Start out slow on yourself. Buy a thin butt plug, you can use a water douche to clean the area first. Lay down a towel and wrap the plug in a condom for easy clean up. Use a water base lube. This may be all you need to satisfy the urge, and I don't know why more straight men don't do that. You don't need your wife to participate, but perhaps when she sees how much you enjoy it you can talk her into putting on a strap-on and pegging you. I'm sure that is what you really want. You may need to work her up to it. Check out doc johnson for a plug without a wire or vibrator. Never use a wired dildo. I think Amazon sells them.
a dildo will never compare to the intimacy of being with another man so close...i personally don't like the rubbery feel of a dildo..it doesn't feel like the real thing, it never will... I think you should explore your sexuality, to bad your married and your caught up in all that "BS" of being faithful and crap. I don't agree with marriage, I think it should be banned from ever existing. It's a curse. Life is about enjoying yourself and expereincing intimacy with different people to learn and move on to a higher awareness. Most people in marriage seem to stall and grow to hate each other more then anything. I think you should get a divorce, and explore your sexuality.... or do it secretly, many gay guys love straight men to fool around with...i know theres many in Indiana who'd love to show you a few things... Here's some resources for you: http://www.craigslist.org/ (find your city on the right hand side, then go to personals, then go to Men seeking Men... a lot of men post ads there looking for a hookup, maybe you'll be able to find one your interested in, talk with them through email..make sure their not clingy...exchange photos if you want..and make sure their paying for the hotel if their from out of town ) http://gay.com (make an account go to the chatroom of your city, day and night guys are in there looking for sexual encounters) http://dudesnude.com (personal ads of guys looking for sexual encounters with other guys, go to profile search at the top, accept, search for a guy of your dreams in your area, you may find the perfect guy..so many mouth dropping guys on there...the germans are so hot!) another option is to set up an Anonymous MYSPACE account (http://myspace.com), and just show some pics of your body, so your face isn't showing. Then search in your area for gay, bi and curious guys your attracted to on there. Gay guys will add you so fast if your body is hot, and then you can get talking about sex. lol I don't feel bad at all about exchanging this information, it's your life. Don't let marriage make you suffer. Good Luck!
For a dildo you should use the pliable jelly type. The ones with the wires are not only cheaply made, so the wire could pop out and cut you, but the wire makes it too stiff and that can do damage as well. Only one thing you said can I agree with, magicisafoot, that is if someone wants to cheat, get a divorce. Marriage is a contract and commitment. Some people are unable to keep their word or agree to any commitments. For them marriage is wrong. They only end up hurting their spouse. You can learn and move onto a higher awareness, by loving yourself, God or while in a committed relationship. I have no idea where you come up with such nonsense. I've meet many people who have grown through marriage. Most serial-partner folks I know seem to never have matured past high school.
Wow. You know a thing or two about intimacy. Have you read anything by Osho? By the way, I don't condone doing anything in secret. Perhaps your wife won't support you experimenting and will divorce, etc., and that is when you'll need to support yourself. It's a scary thing about the legal situation when it comes to deciding how often you see your own kids, though. I'd think about that one.
cheating is cheating. Don't fuck up your marriage, just because you want it up the ass. In the long run it isn't worth it. If you really love your wife, you shouldn't even consider this. As stated above, buy a butt plug, or a dildo.
Marriage takes away curiousity, it takes away the playful nature inside of us. Yeah some couples do well in a committed marriage, but there's many who don't. There's many who have to struggle with their sexual urges and curiousity about other people, some being driven to madness, fear, killing, and suicide because they had to supress those '"desires" for so long to keep their family and spouse happy. I believe in only opened relationships for that reason. Yeah a lot of people who are serial-daters may not have matured past high school, but at least their not holding back their urges, supressing their sexuality. Many "I'm waiting for the perfect man", "I won't have sex til I'm married" types will always be waiting for the perfect man thinking about what could of been in most cases and supressing their sexuality. That's what marriage and christianity does. It supresses your natural curiousity & sexuality. Mae West said it best... "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." Cheating is cheating. I agree with that. I'll leave it up for him to decide if it's worth it or not for him to follow through with his desire. I think thou that he should talk to his wife about it? A marriage is suppose to be about being opened with each other, right? If you tell her what your feeling, maybe it will open her up more? Maybe ask her if she ever thought about being with another women, and go from there to tell her what your feeling. I think you should talk to her Weirdidiot2003. Maybe if she says yes, you can throw in the idea of maybe finding a curious couple to expeirment with together. lol I dunno...that's more acceptable then you going off on your own finding a guy to be with...do it together...your married...lol
Actually I'm a big hypocrit. I avoid relationships, sex, and mingling with people. I supress myself to the full extent, lol. I know nothing about intimacy. I'm still a virgin, I just know what I observe and what I've seen go on in my parents marriage, sisters marriages, aunts marriages, friends relationships, friends sexual encounters, and with my own supression of desires... and I make assumptions and beliefs based on that. I don't know who Osho is, sorry.
Most women do not see it as very manly, if their husbands desire to have a dildo stuffed up their ass. Very few are actually even half-way comfortable with strapping one around and 'givin' it to her husband. So, if your wife won't come any close to your ass, she is a part of that big, overwhelming majority. She is heterosexual and as such wants you to play your role, so that she can do her stuff. Stuffing it up her husband's rear end has never been a part of her plan. (Please, pardon my French in this paragraph. Thanks!) So, chanches of trying it with your wife are minimal. Cheating is cheating. We all agree on that one. And I guess, we'll all have to agree that life is nothing short of a major compromise, we make on a daily basis. And the bad news is that you really have no choice here. Supressing your desire won't work in the long run and would make life worse for your kids, your wife and yourself. Divorcing now when they all need you most for the sake of testing the uncharted territories and possibly deciding that this whole m2m or something anal, whatever, does not work for you at all sounds pretty absurd, too. Which brings us to the conclusion that at this stage, the least of all evils would be to cheat. Be smart, reasonable and safe about it. Besides your health and general well-being, discretion here is everything. Have you ever thought about the saying 'What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas'. Only once you are sure that your desire also transforms into the sexual pleasure, you were hoping to achieve, should you really start looking into all the other alternatives. Cross that bridge once you get there... Just my 2 cents... KD
magicisafoot: Marriage takes away curiousity, it takes away the playful nature inside of us. I'm sorry that your marriage and commitments may have been so stifling. Married people find a partner who is readily interested in their discoveries, curiosity is squelched when there is no one to understand or share your experiences with. Playfulness is increased with intimacy. It takes time to develop the kind of deep intimacy a marriage affords. If your "urges" are stifled by marriage, you should get out. That's why we have divorce. Some people will never be able to have a committed relationship, you are wise to advise that type of person to avoid it. I don't know that marriage is about waiting for the prefect man, but making a loving and caring relationship the best that it can be. That can be an impossible task if all you're worry about is your own urges. magicisafoot: he should talk to his wife about it? From his first message it sound like he has. Weirdidiot2003 has only a couple of choices, as I see it. 1) go on as normal. -he's frustrated with that. 2) Cheat on his wife. -I believe that's grossly unfair. 3) Divorce his wife. -at risk of separating his family. 4) Try to find a compromise with his wife. He said his wife won't go near that area. Most peoples aversion to anal sex is that's it's messy. I suggested that he try using a plug or dildo using good hygiene. His wife may be happy to indulge him once she see's it isn't such a big deal. And since they haven't tried it, she may find she enjoys pegging him. If this satisfies the couple, then there's no need to cheat, other than the fact that you disprove of marriage. If that doesn't work out, then I would suggest counseling. But to cheat, just because your wife doesn't want to poke you is wimpy. Or because you are afraid to push the issue, or because it would be the least of all evils is just as deceptive and wrong. You have come to realize a desire. No, this wasn't on the table before you were married. But you may bring it up now. If your wife is unable to meet you half way or you are unable to find a way around this, and you feel you won't be happy untill you investigate this urge, then tell her. I'm not saying give an ultimatum. I'm saying after all else, let her know that you are going to have to find that type of satisfaction elsewhere. Once you cheat, you will do it again. There is no such thing, as KewlDewd66 suggests, as a little experiment on the side. Because that turns into a second and third and etc, until it becomes, "how can I confess all of that?" If you feel the need to experiment, have the decency to tell her first.
I can't in good conscience encourage you to cheat on your wife. Here's a question you need to ask yourself and be honest about the answer: is it worth it to find out what mansex is like if it might mean the loss of my marriage and relationship with my children?
i want to thank you all for your feedback on my situation. very thought provoking. but when it comes down to it, i love my kids too much to ever do anything to hurt them. and even though marrige has its extreme ups and downs i love my wife. no, she wouldnt ever act on those desires, she has very deep 'christian' values and feels that its wrong and gay people will burn in hell (sorry guys). but i realized that i had already made my choice and i cant go back. doing so would be incredibly selfish of me. i guess i was just looking for a reason to validate cheating on her. im not a religous man, but i would say im very spiritual. i live by my own morals and dont really follow anyone elses teachings. and every nerve in my brain says not to go through with acting upon selfish lust. im giving away my own wants and desires so that others may have the chance at a better life. i will continue on as if nothing is wrong; for my family's sake once again, i thank you all for responding to this thread
