why is it so hard for me to accept/believe anything good is for me?

Sometimes....grrrr....I just don't know about me! I am a polyamorous bi woman; not a swinger but have always prayed for, sought, hoped for etc. that one special girl that I could share anything with. The one that would know my heart; my best friend with whom I could share anything. My Muse, perhaps? Anyways I have met the most incredible woman who just adores me!!! What is hard for me to accept and understand is.....WHY? I'm a broody anarcho-hippie poet conspiracy theorist; I've been told that I'm classical beautiful, but I am not stylish at the least. This woman is as beautiful as a dream; warm, witty and intelligent to boot. I believe she is everything my heart has cried out for all these years; and now that the possibilities are before me I just want to tell her that she should put her energy into someone more upscale, ummmmm....words.....more of her "caste"? I'm scrambling for words here....Its just so hard for me to accept that anything good could come into my life...mabey I was dropped on the head shortly after birth, lol, I feel like a baby that wants desperately to be held but can't stop fighting it all the while!

 

you're using too many labels, for yourself and for her


you're in love, enjoy it while you can, just let it be and see where it leads you two. Don't stress about overanalyzing things, just try to make her happy, and she'll try to make you happy, and things will turn out however they turn out

 

i couldn't have said it better.
strongly agree.

 

i also agree with the others. Do not run from your feelings...or love for that matter. It sounds like you have found that special someone that is completley opposite of you but is absolutely perfect at the same time for you. "Opposites attract" so to speak. But i think you should tell her your feelings and see how she reacts to it. But dont let her get away cuz believe me...a good girl is hard to find.

 

awww....you all are awesome! On a romantic note, I can SO relate to the lyrics which say, "Thats why I...think its incredible...that someone ...so unforgettable...thinks that I'm...unforgettable too!" Ya dee dee, now see if you go around singing that all day too, lol! But on another note, that one from which I cried out here at first....I dunno...I think I have a fear with intimacy issues....out of curiosity, my beliefs and inner dynamics have put me outside of so many circles that it is scary and amazing to find someone literally creating a circle to take me in. Heh--anyone got an instant dose of self-acceptance?

 

do this: wake up every morning and do whatever you feel like you should. seriously, that will get you a lot farther than you think it will.

 

Thats so awesome