I am a slut who has sex with trees

And my penis is really starting to chafe, i have a bad rash and cuts and bruises. I got bitten by a possum the other day, and once it got covered with ants.

 

I once had sex with a dwarf Korean lilac bush. Those things are damn expensive.

 

they make dildos from wood..

 

they used to make condoms out of sheepskin. can you say 'rugburn'...

 

In that case, was the woman getting fucked by the sheep first, or the man?

 

why did the possum get covered with ants?
S

 

Because the possum wouldn't let go, so i had to walk home with it in my pants and I had ants in my pants.

 

.........& they call us the wingin' poms.

 

Do you get splinters?

 

Thats what you are poo face. I don't think you could handle a dick full of splinters. Go drink Fosters Beer aka "Cat Piss" in Australia.

 

theres only one thing better than sex with trees, and its sex with dead trees

NECROPHILIA PLANT SEX FOR LIFE!

 

One time I was dressed up like a tree, and this guy just started having sex with me. I put a possum down his pants.

 

tell me that wasn't at your school panto
S

 

What a coincidence, I'm a tree who has sex with sluts. Hmmm...

 

guy had sex with a sumac tree and got a rash ....poor sumac tree ..it got a bad case of the dose

 

When tree hugging goes bad - how sad - so very sad

 

haha love it, hang on what do you mean exactly? a used condom, nowlook what IVe done Ive taken another innocent comment and turned it into something sordid.
here Lying have you ever seen that horror film of short stories in the seventies where joan collins plays an angry wife who's husband has a love affair with a dead tree, it cuts her, final scene he's in bed with the tree and Joan collins has disappeared so you see its not just you
S

 

I'm going to have to see this movie.

 

ok will look up the title for you, its about 3 peoples separate stories of how they ended up in a mental instituation, its actually very disturbing
S