As a "fuck buddy"

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Mojambotamtams, Jul 20, 2004.

  1. Mojambotamtams

    Mojambotamtams Member

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    ...what am I or aren't I allowed to do?

    cuz I'm just totally confused about my gentleman friend. He suprises me at work... calls me to see what I'm up to... We talk online constantly... we cuddle a lot... we fuck a lot... we kiss a lot... we smoke a lot... he's like a boyfriend... but not.

    ...are there any limitations? Can I "go" for someone else and still do this with him? ...or is this too good to be true?
     
  2. makno

    makno Senior Member

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    no thats the best of both worlds and you can go for someone
     
  3. BooBooKittyFuck

    BooBooKittyFuck Member

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    Are you sure he doesn't want more than that? I'm just wondering cuz it seems like there is emotional attatchement happening. Would you like him to be your bf?
     
  4. dangermoose

    dangermoose Is a daddy

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    cuddling is a sign he wants more. he may not have declared it to you, but he may be expecting something more in the near future. your best bet is to talk to HIM about it
     
  5. PureInnocence

    PureInnocence Member

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    I agree with dangermoose. talk talk talk! Otherwise how will you know?
     
  6. monosphere

    monosphere Holly's Hubby

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    If ya can't talk with your partner about sex, then you shouldn't be having it. This falls into that category. Talk to the guy. Find out from HIM where the boundaries are, or the two of you figure it out together. We don't know this dude, nor are we very familiar with your sex life. He would have better answers than we would.
     
  7. WaitingForTheSun

    WaitingForTheSun Member

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    If traditional fuck buddy rules apply, you should be able to date, see and yes FUCK other people. But you guys sound rather close, so why don't you talk to him? Ask him what he's feeling and how he feels about you going out with other men.
     
  8. Mojambotamtams

    Mojambotamtams Member

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    ugh... I wouldn't mind dating him... but I know he had cheated with his ex-lady friend... and that was with me and many other girls. I'm not sure if he still sees these other girls, but I'm guessing he doesn't because I talk to him everyday and he never says anything about any girls other than his sisters and mother.
    I talk to him all the time... about sex and whatnot... but I don't ask about where we're going to be in the future because he's a friend, and like with a friend, you don't ask,"where do you see us in the future?"
     
  9. GanjaPrince

    GanjaPrince Banned

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    Total love and total trust are required for union


    You don't need your mind for the trip, only one heart in two sexual attuned bodies playing and merging as one. :)
     
  10. Kilgore Trout

    Kilgore Trout Senior Member

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    It seems like fuck buddys have become more and more common in our society. It can be a great thing IF you communicate well. But it can be problematic, too. I thought I was cool with a f/b sleeping with whoever she wanted and vice-versa, but then she slept with someone I knew, which I thought was against the rules, and it really upset me. She was totally surprised by my reaction because she didn't think she had violated any trust. And really she hadn't. I was just caught off gaurd because my feelings were stronger than I thought.
     
  11. missfontella

    missfontella Mama of Da Assassins

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    How long do you guys think it takes a fuck buddy to turn to more?

    * usually dismisses guys at 5 months*

    I'm thinking 6 months
     
  12. moravian

    moravian Member

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    Fuck buddies rarely remain just fuck buddies. Sex is an emotional act, and performing that emotional act with someone who is just a friend can often lead to emotional feelings for that friend even when you're not having sex...


    It sounds to me like you already have some feelings for this guy, am I right? Just from your description, it sounds like you both have some feelings for each other, but maybe do not think it would work out for you in the long run?

    Discussion with him is the only true answer for you, I"m afraid. Some people would be perfectly fine with just fucking around, as many partners as you want, etc, but that certainly is not the case with everyone. With the emotions in play between the two of you, there's no way to tell how he would react. How would you react if it were him wanting to have sex with other girls?

    I can say this, I've been in the fuck buddy position numerous times, and I would never have told one fuck buddy about another one... because I know that could lead to trouble in either case. So, just because he's not coming to you and saying "Wow I fucked this girl last night, she was great!" does not mean he's not doing that very thing! Not to make him out to be a lying ass or anything, I'm just saying, he may not be telling you those stories.

    Fuck buddies are dangerous things: you can both end up just as hurt as if you'd been fully dating to begin with. Just be careful and remember that while you're not professing your love to each other, there's still emotions there and people can still get hurt. I have usually found that once a fuck buddy, never a regular buddy again...
     
  13. Red_ruX

    Red_ruX Member

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    yeah u know, fuck buddies works with a guy u'r not very close to, but as soon as u get to know each other the boundaries change, u cant just fuck anyone without getting the other one at least jealous.
    i think u need to establish a few rules, like not sleeping or going out with the other's friends, stuff like that. don't do things that might hurt your f/b.
    about the cuddling, i'm not sure it means anything. some guys just love cuddling for the sake of it cuz it feels so comforting, it's not out of love (either that or i should worry about my own f/b!)
    now if u choose to ask him what he feels b careful. some guys (especially the f/b type) are too proud to admit they'r falling in love, they get scared and run away instead... :confused:

    OR, if u'r sure u don't wanna date him, just change your f/b :) !! cuz man, it's gettin complicated here
     
  14. Jay-Jay

    Jay-Jay Member

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    that is cool. make him toss your salad. and you are free to make someone else toss your salad as well.
    have fun
     

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