I've been in the BEST relationship for a year and a couple of months. It's totally great. I love him, he loves me.... We want to spend the rest of our lives together. The only problem is... Constantly I am wondering if I am missing something. Like... what if I am just fooling myself into thinking he is my soulmate, and he isn't... What if he ISNT my soulmate!? Then all the time we have spent together (almost everyday for a year!), all the things we did for each other, all the things we learned, would be a complete waste. I guess what I am asking is am I a shitty person for wondering if there is a better guy out there for me... when i have a WONDERFUL guy right in front of me? I guess this doesn't make much sense... but if anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it... I'm in a bit of a funk right now.
wow...i dunno i feel like if you really found your soulmate there would absolutly be no questioning about it. but on the other hand i dont believe there is just OnE person out there for us. I think there are many people that we are compatible with we just find the best one and fall completely and madly in love with them...
well, there is for me, and we havent been apart besides when im working everyday for a long time now, and it get's better everyday. And yes, you will know without a doubt when you find the right person, especially after a year and some months having doubts? But hey, it's not a waste, you learn from everything you do.
It sounds like you feel you're settling for second best. Maybe you're nervous about the idea of him being your last lover and you are panicking. But it sounds to me, that he is fine right now but you want to go elsewhere. Sometimes we are with someone for years, not because they are "the one" but because they are what you need for that particular period of time. If you are nertaining the idea that ther is better out there, obviously you think this guy is not thebest you can do and the one who can give you all you need. If you love him and think he is your soulmate, you would not be thinking there is another option out there. Maybe because he is the closest man to being perfect for you that you have found for yourself, but closest does not mean "the one". That means the one "for now". Not forever. If it is on your mind i would suggest having a conversation with your bloke and asking him where he sees the two of you going in your relationship. Go from there. My advice? If there are any doubts, don't waste time, energy and love on someone who you don't have a future with, not when you want to find your soulmate. Why should he be with someone not ultimately meant for him. You both deserve the best and not to settle, you won't be completely happy that way.
Even if he's not the one for you, it doesn't mean that time you've spent with him is a waste! It's a part of your life and you've learnt stuff and experienced things, so thats not a waste!
Well, thanks guys for all the replies.... I had a six hour conversation with my guy last night while we were half drunk.... I know that sounds crazy, but it worked everything out... so that makes me happy.
No, they aren't just objects to me. OBVIOUSLY, a guy who treats his girl right is gonna be better than a guy that beats her. I mean, there are several situations like that. Some guys ARE better than others. It's just a fact of life.
I'm in a similiar situation- I've been with my man for a year and sometimes I wonder the same thing. Overall, I think that relationships are really difficult and have their 'warm' and 'cold' times, too- its not always amazing fun or amazing sex or whatever. There are hard times, too. My advice is to go by your day to day perceptions of the situation- do you feel mostly satisfied and happy? Or is there a continuous, lingering feeling of wanting something else or wanting more?
ok i felt like this for alittle while in my relationship to my boyfriend i thought about how great it would be to be free and date whoever and check things out but then i thought about how life would be without him and i realized that it would suck but just to warn you, i was with my boyfriend for 18 months we both agreed that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, he asked me to marry him and have his children when we were of appropriate ages. just realize that since you are having these feelings of doubt, he will have these feelings too, not necessarily right now but maybe in the future, and guys don't always think about things. This is how my boyfriend and i broke up, i had felt these feelings like 6 months before we broke up, but i came to my senses and realized i was happy with him, but he started getting these feelings and he broke up with me to "see what else is out there". This was a guy i would have never expected to do something like this. i took weeks of thinking whether or not to break things off and he just up and decides to do it, so just be prepared for anything. If i were you, i would just think about things and decide what will make you the happiest. Odds are since you guys are young like me and my ex-boyfriend, if you don't dump him, he will probably dump you for the same reason...... so many couples are ruined this way, it's a shame. in my opinion, if you are happy with what you have, then why see what else there is? but apparently guys think differently sorry if i just sound like some rambling bitch....i'm still not over the breakup
