Awful ESPN NFL announcers

There have got to be some sports fans among ye. It was reinforced to me last night during the Bills-Patriots game that Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann, and Paul Maguire are far and away the worst announcing team of an already very bad lot (e.g. Phil Simms and Randy Cross, to name just two).

Somehow they manage to be both obnoxious loud-mouths AND painfully stupid at the same time. They're totally in the tank for any team that has a superstar or non-football related angle (esp. Ray Lewis and Michael/Mike Vick), every play is either the most spectacular in the history of the NFL or a sure sign that the team is about to fall apart for a decade, and they're just plain wrong about so many things (e.g. ball spots, penalties, who caught the pass). Also, according to Paul Maguire, every player in the NFL begins all of his sentences with 'Hey' (as in 'We talked to Tedy Bruschi before the game and he said 'Hey, we're just gonna go out and have fun tonight [yet another all-pro athlete who is just looking for a good time rather than a win, if we believe these boobs in the booth!]' and he says 'Hey, we can stop these guys if we just get physical').

Anyone else have an opinion about these or other bad announcers?

 

the white sox announcers take the cake........ they suck more than you can imagine...... tom paciorek and ken "the hawk" harrelson........ and Im sure they are gloating over their world series win........

next comes the team of skip and chip carey......... atlanta braves announcers....snooze.

joe morgan and jon miller is a bad combo for baseball announcers as well......

football?? john madden takes the cake. he sucks.

 

they are soooo bad

 

Didn't they have Denis Leary or Kevin Nealon or someone announcing the NFL who was all too highfalutin for the Miller Lite crowd?

I'd have to say Rush Limbaugh would be the worst...

 

It took years, but at least ESPN finally got over their fetish of screaming 'BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK' when someone hit a home run.

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Close, it was Dennis Miller (along with Dan Fouts---who is actually one of the better color guys out there), but unless it is a couple of naked lingerie models, it is not going draw a lot of people to watch a game they otherwise have no interest in watching.

And that's another thing. I'm also sick of all the goddamn gimmicks (esp. ESPN/ABC, who are the worst, but not only, offenders). During last night's Steelers-Ravens game, Ray Lewis (who didn't dress for the game, mind you) was in a promo before the game discussing something with Chicken Little, the title character from the new Disney movie (Disney being the owner of ABC/ESPN). Before the Steelers-Chargers game they had this total ass-clown thing where fighter planes were flying in and the radar operators were going nuts (game was in San Diego, home of a naval base and aviator training center).

My point is, why in the fuck do they insist on repeatedly insulting our intelligence in trying to hustle us into watching a game that we're ALREADY WATCHING??? I want to see my team play football, period. Never mind the bread and circuses. Even Mrs. Gunison complains about how the Super Bowl just isn't as fun or cool as it used to be. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tuning in to watch a championship football game. Unless John Bonham rises from the dead and Led Zeppelin is playing the halftime show, who gives a shit?

But since I started this thread about annoying Sunday Night ESPN NFL announcers, here is a link to a hilarious Sunday Night NFL drinking game:
http://paulkatcher.com/archives/000565.shtml

You'll be half in the bag by the end of the first quarter!

 

Yeah. They bundle all of this promotional stuff within the game. The other rage right now is the gambling industry bundling their interests with sports stations, as if gambling is a sport.

San Diego, huh? Did the winning team hold up a big sign after the game that said 'Mission Accomplished'?

Then they bundle in this nationalistic fervor thing and plug the government's policies during games, like they did on July 4th last summer when Bush Sr. was on many of the baseball games praising his son for a job well done in Iraq. Every couple minutes all throughout the game they showed beautiful shots of people holding up signs that said support the military.

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And what about the ESPN show "The Best Damn Sports Show Ever." What in the world is that all about??

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that is chris berman that does that......... he still does it during the allstar game homerun derby. I wish he would stick with his schtick of giving people nicknames......

 

but, harry carey would always call the ball "it might be, it could be, it issssssss!! a homerun!!!" and alot of the times he would be saying "it might be, it could be" while the ball was already onto waveland avenue in wrigley...... I loved the guy though..

 

Carey was pretty good.

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Just a dumb question by a newb here, but why isn't there a sports forum?

 

I've often wondered that myself. Frankly, I thought this ESPN announcer thing would go over like a lead balloon.


Back to the announcing thing, I heard Harry Carey burp on the air one time. I mean, a really good one too! He was calling a Pirates-Cubs game (sometime in the early 90s) and thought there was a full count on the batter, but the count was only 3-1. So, the batter takes the next pitch over the plate and Carey goes "Struck him out! Bwuuurrp, 3 and 2 the count...."

That guy was cool. Always got a kick out of that dirty-old-man laugh whenever the camera would show some pretty girl in the stands.

Vin Scully is great too. Ever hear his call at the end of Sandy Koufax's perfect game? THAT is how it's done. Let the event itself provide the emotion.

 

john madden is the worst

 

Here are some gems from the ESPN crew (who called the Bucs-Skins game on Saturday for ABC):

1) First quarter, 3rd and 10 for the Bucs, Simms drops back to pass with the pocket collapsing all around him, Mike Patrick says (in all CAPS, because that's how Mike Patrick talks), "SIMMS BACK TO PASS! GOOD PROTECTION! AND HE'S SACKED!!"
Hmmm.... so now QB sacks are a direct result of good pass protection, eh?

2) Mark Brunell rips off an 8-10 yard first-down run later in the game. I think it was Theismann who said "Did you see Brunell lunge for a few extra yards to get the first down? That's the mark of veteran leadership."

There are at least three problems with this:
-Of course we saw it, Joe, we're watching the fucking game just like you 3 idiots.
-Brunell didn't lunge for the first down. He ALREADY had the first down, then lunged.
-Since when is lunging for a first down the mark of a veteran??? I mean, what a stupid thing to say. Offensive ROOKIE of the year Cadillac Williams must have lunged for 3 or 4 first downs during this game alone.

3) "What sets Gregg Williams [Washington's defensive coordinator] apart is that he understands offenses."

What the fuck? So, what are the other 31 defensive coordinators in the league scheming against when they draw up their defenses (which are, after all, meant to defend against an offense)? I guess everyone is whistling in the dark but Gregg Williams (in addition, looking at the Bills offense while Williams was coach, that he "understands" offenses may be just plain false).

RIP ESPN crew. How I love to hate thee.

 

Sucks for you guys...Us Angel & Dodger fans have some great announcer's.

Rex Hudler & Steve Fiz are the best!(Angels Announcer's)They make you laugh and really enjoy the game.

This past season The Angels were playing the Indians and the Indians have this guy named Coco Crisp on there team...HA!...Long story short...He trys to steal second base,get's thrown out,Coco thought he was safe,argues with the umpire,he's all fired up,then you hear Rex say..."I think Coco just went SNAP,CRACKLE & POP!.....HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!....THE funniest shit I've ever heard any announcer say....

 

I actually saw Coco Crisp play about 3 years ago when he was with the local Buffalo Bisons (Cleveland's AAA team). He's a pretty good player, but what a name!

Still 'Coco Crisp' beats everyone announcer's favorite excuse for an assinine pun or metaphor, Cadillac Williams.

 

Hey I like John Madden, and i was surprized at how good Dennis Miller was. Miller didn't last long, so i must have been about the only one who liked him, but HEY --- Everyone Likes Madden!

 

I would celebrate his death

 

A lot of people bash Madden these days (or at least don't like him a whole lot). I think he's still one of the better analysts out there. For example, in the Steelers-Colts Monday night game (the one that didn't count; heh-heh!) Madden said that Steelers CB Ike Taylor was "looking into the backfield" and that's why Harrison beat him for an 80 yard TD on the opening play. Not only did the replay clearly show this when you looked closely, but every writer said the exact same thing in their columns the next day.

You know who fucking sucks balls?? Phil Simms. Holy shit, anyone see the AFC Championship game yesterday (PITTSBURGH WINS!!!! Fuck yeah!)? Christ, the guy never fucking shuts up and just says ridulous and painfully obvious things. Remember Mike Tyson's Punch Out? In between rounds, Doc Louis would give Mac really silly advice like, "Listen Mac! Dodge his punch, then counter-punch." That's what I think of whenever Simms says something like "Jake Plummer needs to be more careful with the football," following a turnover and the Steelers leading 17-3. Real insightful, Phil. Thank goodness ABC has the Super Bowl so we don't have to listen to this fuckin' twit in 2 weeks.