so, does anyone else ever look in the mirror and not get a feeling that what they see is the person who is experiencing their life? i realized that i feel more that the people i surround myself with are me than the person i rarely see, and when i do see, only see in a reflection. with some of my closest friends, when we've talked for a really long time, i've had the chance to really look at their faces and get to know the distinct way they move, but i don't know all of that about myself. i only mean this physically, because my personality is my own. it's driving me crazy. i'm going to be in this body my whole life and i'm not even friends with this person i see in pictures. does this make any sense? does anyone else feel like this? i just realized that this "becoming a person" could be the same as loving them... so is it impossible to love yourself that way too?
well. i have a lot of problems with people... but i dont think its like that, when i take the time to get myself in the situation, and stare deeply at someone.. Ill freak out.. cause it looks as if the person doesnt exist.. like its just a thought in my mind.. ill freak because, maybe im talking to no one.. no one exists ... Or just.. when i concentrate alot, itll be as if i completely forget about words.. like theyll talk to me.. and i wont understand them, cause i forgot the meaning of words, so it screws me up.. and movements too.. sometimes i look at peoples bodies. like their hands.. and its funny, like every part of the body is alive.. its a bunch of little people ..
yup. home movies give me that same damn feeling. "who the hell's that? i don't sound like that! and why didn't anyone tell me i do that annnoying thing with my fingers when i'm bored?" weird, i guess identical twins will never feel our pain. dammit she smoked all my marbs . .. . .
Yeah. I feel like I don't even have a body most of the time. Which is probably why I get all surreal. Because I'm floating in outer space to begin with. Crazy what brain chemicals can do.
i feel like a spirit in a meat suit. what really freaks me out is when you go to move your leg but you don't really think about moving your leg it just happens.......like...you say to yoru self"I want to sit on my leg" but like from the thought to the foot being udner you you don't think about it!
yeah, wow. once i talked to my friend for a good 7 or 8 minutes, and i couldn't say a single real word. it wasn't english and it wasn't any other language, it was like i was saying my thoughts before they were translated. and what's weird is i was totally sober. i'd say something that was my equivalent of "i can't speak english!" and then she'd look at me and laugh, and then i'd say what felt like "you can't even understand me, can you?" and a few days ago i got the sensation (haha york peppermint patty) that my soul was in my tongue, like, that was where i felt myself physically was. so i kept thinking to myself "The soul is located in the tongue!!! the soul is located in the tongue! this is amazing! i have found the secret of life!!" people's hands can be weird, like aside from whatever gesticulations the person is making they have their own little world and each finger has a personality and they interact with eachother. wooohooo
haha i get those exact things, and yes.. the hands are so damn weird.. I mean, one would think that the face is like the biggest part.. but its just funny watching some one doing a lot of gestures with his hands, and his face isnt doing much. But the thing about losing sense of words can freak me out (and when i get that im sober 2)...
