A realization and being strong

Seems like your ex is a real shit head. You don't need that in your life hon. Besides you are quite a looker. Lots of guys will be more than willing to treat you right. But they may not hang around if they see you with that nutcase.

 

I'm not dumping him. We're not together. I told him I couldn't give him a relationship until he changed, but he deserves somone who doesn't require him to change and he needs to learn that some of his ways are not okay and has to take some iniative to better himself. It's more like I'm finally giving him a clear explanation of why we can't be together.

 

Thank you!!!!! I remember a few years ago I was dating this great guy Jon, he was getting his masters in computer programming, a practicing catholic, only had one sex partner, insanley smart-just the smartest guy ever and he was at my house why my mom was on vacay and I didn't lock the front door. Well my ex saw Jon's truck and came barging in the house and threatened him and Jon left and I never saw him again. It was one of the most embarassing experiences of my life. He was half my ex's size so it was impossible for him to defend himself. I've put up with a lot from him because he makes me feel so safe when I'm with him and is fun and wants me-but these things that caused me to stay with him are fading away. I don't feel safe with him anymore because he can't be sensitive when I'm sick, he's not fun anymore because he's gained weght and is so self-concious he doesn't want to go out and have fun and although he wants me badly he's too high all the time to be proactive in a relationship. SO I let go of him, he hasn't called me today. I think I made things clear last night. I hope he finds hapiness in life and progresses beyond his realm of being stoned and unhealthy.

 

he sounds like he's ripening into a stalker. move and don't tell him where. but warn your mom...it can get ugly.

 

I agree with mynameiskc. This guy could turn out to be a real menace so you have to be careful for a while.

Anyway it seems like you need to give Jon a call......Just to let him know that you and that creep are done for good!! Who knows what may happen......heh...heh.

 

I second mynameiskc, he sounds like trouble. Whether or not he is should be something that you should take very seriously. Jerks and assholes don't give up and go away without you making abundantly clear that you never want to see them again, and then following those statements up with action (changing phone numbers/moving/restraining orders, etc). Whether that statement is true is irrelevant, you may want to see them again if they change, if they treat you better, if this or that; but waiting in any figurative sense is an invitation to keep things exactly the way they are. You have to cut these people from your life completely. It can not only be hard and painful to do, but dangerous as well, so be careful.

I don't want to sound like a pessimist, and I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt he's given up.

 

hah no Jon is long gone, I don't even have his number anymore. He and I never would have worked out anyway. I was way too much of a party girl then and he was a really nice naive boy. Once he knew everything about me he would have ran for the hills to find a nice perfect bookwormy girl who was a virgin...not that I'm a hoe I've only had 4 sex partners and at the time only one but I was still wild then. I've calmed down a lot and can still be pretty bad.

 

So what if you were a party girl and he wasn't! If he was a great guy like you said he was, I'm sure he would deal with your party life style just fine. In fact, some of the craziest/fun people to be around are the people who don't drink, trust me. and who knows, maybe he had a little something up his sleeves to suprise you and send you running for the hills.

 

He didn't call me today, which is a first for him. I was really serious when I told him that I gave him a lot of time and a lot of chances to change his ways and mature and be responsible and just smoke pot in the evenings (see im reasonable). I told him that I know I was shitty to him as well but that it was because I was frustrated with him being stoned all the time and not letting me go out with my girlfriends or wear what I want. I hate sleeping in bed with people and usually sneak outta bed with people and go sleep on the couch, I am just a really light sleeper and nights and nights of sleep deprivation make ya wanna couch it for a night. I told him this and that it's because he snores and that he needs to see a doctor. the doctor told him to lose weight, he hasn't yet gets mad at me for creeping outta bed to the couch or guest bed. This is just an example of how he is one sided and it sounds trivial but he couldn't do something as simple as cutting out the crap food and yet he wants me to be sleep deprived to be by his side all night. SO it's over, I ended it and he is obviously taking it better than he has in the past and this time it's for good.

 

hah well Jon certainly liked to drink but plus he intimidated me. His parents were really rich. He went to Bishop high school, which is the most elite private school in california, very hard to test into and very expensive. I just felt insecure. I tend to date people I feel 'not good enough for'. Once I get to know them I realize I am good enough and they have flaws (sometimes i realize im too good for them lol) but I just need to work on my security and self-esteem.