i live in portland. i have for a week. I am pmsing. my love lives in pa. i miss him a lot. i hate portland. i hate my school. noone here that i can relate to. i'm really lonely. I miss Noe. i think i'm holding on too tight to him and am crushing him. i cry a lot.. i want to go home. i am dependent on a man. it sucks. he wants me to be independent. i feel like something is stabbing me in the stomach. i asked him if he would care if i would find someone out here. he said go for it. i called him and he turned the phone off. i wanted to hear him say that he would care. i'm a dumb bitch. i just feel so lonely. i want someone to care. i'm really selfish. i'm typing like an idiot because i'm too sad to do otherwise. i'm so sad. i'm so lonely. i miss my old friends, i miss my old face. i miss my old life, fuck this time and place.
"i am dependent on a man. it sucks." Maybe it's love? I can't live without mine, and I think it's love. if you don't care are you with him or not, then you don't love him I think. It's always difficult to adapt with new place.. stay strong! power is what you need. Wish you to rescue your love! Best luck.. P.S. in the past times, in my country lovers spent some months/years in different places to check their feeling. if their feeling was strong enough they could stay the distance, if not -then it meant it was not true feeling.
don't sweat it, girl. what ever happened to "i am woman hear me roar"? anything God throws your way, you can handle. He doesn't put too much on your plate. if you're so sad, hit up a bookstore and chill the fuck out w/ some tunes. missing a boy isn't the end of the world (even though it feels like it). you don't have to let yourself get caught up in your emotions. . . you're now an independent sista (whether you like it or not). do this for you, show yourself what you can handle. woman, be strong . . .. drop a line if u like.. crushed79@hotmail.com
