Hey family, I'm going through a really difficult time right now, no job, no money, long distance marriage thats falling apart due to my insecurity and lack of trust (i've acted like an ass) I have a child on the way and to be perfectly honest everything is looking pretty grim and hopeless, I also suffer from depression, panic disorder, chronic anxiety and HPPD <one of those acid casualties> I don't really have anyone to talk to or vent to at all, i've pushed my wife away, and i'm feeling really really bummed/drained, honestly I don't feel that i'm actually suicidal but I honestly wish I could go to sleep and just not wake up. I've spent years in prison (lsd) and had a really rough time of it since about 1999. I'm reaching out to family in the hopes that I can get some encouragement/support that i've been needing for so long and have not recieved/asked for........I think i've finally hit rock bottom. Love and peace everyone, Jah bless. ~Rob
good vibes your way brother man. sorry to hear about all that. just open up to your wife and let her know what is going on and i guess apologize if you are sorry and were in the wrong. life goes on. you'll get through it. "so toss away stuff you don't need in the end but keep what's important and know who's your friend" just remember, you have a little one on the way so try and get your shit in check and just be the best father you can be. i think your newborn will put some happiness in your life. out of curiosity, what were you doing time in the clink for? i know you said L but sales/manufacture/possession/etc.
Trafficking, 4yrs.3mos. Thanks so much for your solidarity brother, I know it sounds corny but your reply actually made me tear up, just knowing that I at least got somebody that cares. Thank you so much.
gotta brother doin a year as we type,,folks he was with ,,lookin at 50... so yer four ,,well coulda been worse.. lifes a bitch man,,dont get no easier for our kind.. just keep on keepin on,,tis all ya can do.. Luv~N~Lite
You Will Be In My7 Prayers Brother Dont Give Up Things Tend To Unfold The Way They Should And When I Had My Baby He Changed My Whole Life Around
Aaaaw. I was suicidal once. Theres only one good thing about being that down. You can only go up from there. It might not seem like it but people do care and you are not alone. I agree, that lil one is gonna fill your life with soo much joy. I'm praying for ya brother.
Yeah, I used to go to bed dreaming of a thousand guns pointing at my head, just wishing they were real. I know the feeling, that you don't really want to die but that you want to turn off your head because it can't handle that your heart is going to burst. We all in my nuclear family love you brother. Healing happens once you take the first steps. Becca
About the marriage, I just want to say a few things to makt it a little more clear. there is 5 basic love languages.And each of us has one or sometimes two that we speak. 1.Acts of service (wash dishes,vaccume flore,ect 2.Words of Afirmation (my you look good tonight,you know that kind of stuff 3.Quality Time (go swimming or bowling or movies 4.Gifts (lets face it all women like to get a gift 5.Physical Touch. (and we all like to touch a little. All you need to know is your partners love language, and speek it We all have tanks that we placed recieved love every time we have our language spoken to us, and when a little while goes by without putting anything in it,It gets a little low.My Youth minister taught us about it a while back but i forget the authors name, the book is titled the five love languages. lots of love...Camp burnt out
Hey fam, I want to thank everyone from the depths of my heart for all the prayers, advice, goodvibes, and most of all the LOVE!!! I feel somewhat better and i've talked to my wife and things are looking up.......life is still a struggle, as always, but I have no doubt that with just a little love and support from my wife, and my beautiful family, that I will transcend this mountain and conquer this negativity. It's a beautiful day here in Northern Vermont, the suns a shinin, the snows a blindin, and im full of lovin, thank you so much family, for being there for me through the darkness and shinin ya lovelight!! You've given me inspiration and hope...........I think most of all I just needed to know I wasn't alone. Infinite blessings to all!!
Life is all about change. Nothing ever remains constant. Just because something looks a certain way today doesn't mean it will look the same tomorrow. No one can hope to fix a troubled relationship without first getting VERY REAL with themselves. You seem to have created yourself some unpleasant karma. Things that bother YOU about YOURSELF. You should try to right these wrongs first. If you have done things you are not proud of, try doing some things to make ammends. If you let opportunities slide by, and have regrets later, then you need to actively work at NOT letting things just go past without doing something. Start today. It's better than not starting at all. Believe it or not, you have tremendous power. You are a teacher. Every time you deal with another person, you are teaching them something. And also, everyone else is a teacher. So keep your eyes open. Everything has it's positive and negative side. Try to focus on the positive. Negativity can be a very bad habit, and yo can get so caught up in it that it seems like that's all there is, so try to keep your honor in all things. If you feel close to the end of your rope, and it seems as if there is NOTHING you can do, you can still set a good example for others in the way you handle the adversity. Life is a struggle for everybody, just some folks take it so much more to heart than others. Take a deep breath, and understand that the world unfolds as it should. You may end up in a totally better headspace and place than you are now, but maybe you wouldn't have gotten there without going thru these particular lessons. Wishing you the best, and be assured, things will improve.
