it's so though to do, but once it's done, you feel so good...I completly "hammerd" her, she ad nothing to say except : "let me think about all that" I told her that I was tired of all that bullshit and I would never be just friend with her....and she wasnt mad, I think she realized that she is more than a friend for me...anyways, we are suppose to finish the conversation tomorrow, cuz "her phone was dead" I'm glab I did it, maybe I will never talk to her again, but at least I'll act like a man for once in my life lol. if she says that she dont want anything, should I end up the relation? I think so, she is a great person and I'd miss her...but it's the best option for my own mental health good night folks!
"its harder to be friends then lovers ,and you shouldnt try to mix the two, becuse if you do it and your still unhappy then you know that the problem is you" liz phair
so, I talked to her about the fact that I was not her friend anymore, and I learn that she is "affraid" of being in a relation again....she hates herself and think I'll dump her like a bag of shit because she is ugly or whatever (she is SO not ugly!!! lol) anyways, she is affraid, and now all the time I talk to her about the fact that I want to be with her, she starts to be annoying I dont know why...anyways, she says she is happy with me aroung, I dont understand what the problem is, I can understand that she is affraid, but gosh, a little bit of trust would help!!! we have some argues sometimes, but afterall, I still love her... anyways, what can I do to help her with her fear?
Ok Communist, you are a bro; so I am going to treat you with the directness befitting such. Since you already divulged your net feelings, it is all about damage control at this point-- or maybe we are beyond that even. She knows how you feel, so go out and meet other chicks. THAT is the bottom line. Let her work out her emotions of her own accord. She knows how you feel. Let her work out how she feels. Let me tell you, she ALREADY knows how she feels, whether she is attracted in a deep visceral way or not. It is that simple. In a few seconds, we guys KNOW whether we are attracted to girls. Likewise, girls know very fast whether they are attracted or not to us, though for some intangibles are more important than the physical I have experienced. So go out and stop pandering to this girl's emotions. I know you feel strongly for her, but for God's sake STOP. Take a strong lead and get some phone numbers, bro. late
I don't think it'd be fun to be in her shoes at this moment... Well, I understand how you feel, Communist. I've been attracted to my friends, too. With my best friend, I even proposed to her. But they weren't interested, and I respected their decision. And we are still very close, and my best friend and I are still best friends. That was our mutual wish. It's great that I still have her in my life as a true friend. So it makes me frown a bit when somebody says they don't want to continue being friends with somebody just because they don't think they can deal with a rejection, or whatnot. To me, a friend isn't that easily disposabe. Just because I find a friend of mine attractive doesn't mean she's no longer a friend to me. She is still my friend, and even if she isn't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, I'd still want her as a friend. I also don't want to pursue a relationship just for the sake of a relationship. I want my partner and I to be best friends who understand and trust each other at the most intimate(but not necessarily sexual) level. To sum it all up, try not to ditch her even if she doesn't want to have a romantic relationship with you. Friends are harder to come by than lovers. If you really don't want to have her even as a friend, then she just doesn't mean that much to you. Either way I really wouldn't rule out staying friends with her if I were you. Just remember: a true friend will be there for you forever, a true friend who is also your lover will be there for you forever, a lover but not a true friend may leave you as she sees fit. ::AT::
thx for your advises. but try to understand : I dont see myself living with her in my life if we are not togheter. friends are great, but I cannot see myself being just a friend with her. I dont want to hurt her (because I know it does) by flirting with other chicks, I think it would make her feel even more affraid. I think I'll prefer never see her at all than seing her as a friend. it would be a pain in the ass, but only one. staying friends would be a stabbing in the heart every single day of my life.
um, yeah, someone giving me ultimatums to date them or never be friends with them again wouldn't endear me to someone. but maybe she's a kinder soul than me
Next time you're with her, wait for an opening, then give her a deep kiss. If she doesn't fall into your arms, then I'd say there's no winning her over.
Ok. If you flirt with other girls, AND she hears about it or sees it, you will PURGE her of her fear, if that is what it really is. You will incite her to action. I think you are worth more than the worry you cling to, friend. Check it out, go and ask a girl, anyone, what she finds attractive in a man. I bet confidence is on her list. She wants a confident guy. She wants a guy who is confident with girls. So how does a guy become confident with females? By EXPERIENCE with them, of course! I think this is a good lesson for you. Let the little boy in you die, and grow into manhood.
it's not an ultimatum, it's a fact. I dont want to force into anything, I just dont want her to think that I'll be her "super duper friend" because I dont feel I can handle it. I'm not presuring her, I'm just taking my distances for right now, if she change her mind, she knows I'll be there waiting (sadly, lol) and maybe you are right, I should definitivly date other girls....but where I come from the city is small and everybody knows everything, lol. ... meh ok, I'll give you guys updates
I guess that's sarcasm....but no, I wont do it. we always fight (verbally) about shitty things : I dont compliment her, I dont give her the attention she deserve, I dont respect her because when she calls, my friends are around, I dont blah blah blah...anyways. I know it is all true but I'm fukin tired of trying, after 1 year, can she understand that I attend to loose hope....anyways, I know it wouldnt be the same if we were togheter, I'd be the most attentioned person and I know it, but she doesnt... huh, stupid situation...I wish I could go back 1 year ago and give her a f*kin kiss when I had the chance
lol I just read this and thought that was the funniest thing. I realize the guy's username is Communist but I was just thinking how funny it would be like if I was talking to a black person and said: Well, I understand how you feel, ******.
