This has probably been done before but...

I don't think there's anything wrong with not doing Santa Claus with your kids. One thing I would suggest is to let them know that others might believe in him so not to say anything. When I was in kindergarten, I made a comment about how Santa wasn't real and made kids cry... and I honestly had no idea that kids didn't know he wasn't real! My parents didn't know that I didn't believe in Santa so they never told me to keep my mouth shut. When I was little, my used to go all out and since I saw them eating the cookies and veggies we left out for Santa and his Reindeer when I was 3 or 4, I figured out that it was really them and didn't think too much about it.

I think I believed in the Hanukkah elephant and the Easter bunny much longer than Santa. We celebrate both Hannukkah (religiously) and Christmas (secularly) at my house, and apparently when I was 2 years old, I asked my mom why Santa didn't do Hanukkah and then answered myself with, "I guess an elephant must come." For some reason it stuck. I don't remember that though.

When I have kids, I'll probably do Santa Claus just because it was fun to get all riled up about it as a little kid, but I don't think kids miss out on anything by not believing.

 

The Chanukkah Elephant? Lol, I've never heard that one before.

 

Oh, I did find a website that is about of the man Santa Claus was based on, if anyone's interested.

The stories are very typically Christian, but they're kind of beautiful nonetheless.

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38

St. Nicolas became such part of our culture, and yet the only story I had heard before of him as a Christian figure was the one about the doweries. Now, granted, I didn't grow up Christian, but my parents were very open and willing to talk about growing up Catholic and Protestant. So I wonder how many people actually do know these stories? It's like we're so caught up on this idea of a person that we don't even think to learn anything about who he supposedly was. Wait, where have I heard that before?

No, I'm not hear to insult anyone's religious beliefs (it's just the crazy extremists that I have a problem with. Like with Islam and any other religion, that represents a very small number of assholes) or to bring down anyone's holiday. Growing up as one of the five Jews in a very Christian family, I've developed a respect and love for Christianity that is unmatched by most non-Christians. Especially by self proclaimed liberals and feminists to go along with it. There's a list, like with everyone else, but I won't get into that. Anyway, I just think it's upsetting our society is so caught up in magical people that we don't really make any effort understand anything about.

But I've drifted way off topic, so I'll shut up now.

 

I believe in Santa - he's come through for me many times. (of course, I mean the "spirit of the season") But old St. Nick, as an icon, is not unwelcome in my house.

 

I don't feel scarred or anything from being bought up to believe that Santa was coming and then finding out later that he wasn't real...in fact I think I enjoyed helping my parents keep the fantasy alive for my younger siblings once I knew and now am enjoying the pure joy and excitement I see in my childs and my friends kids eyes when the subject comes up...whilst I understand what you guys are saying about lies I suppose that I don't really equate it with lies but more with fantasy and story telling....I think that as my family has evolved so has Christmas for us and although Santa is part of it there is so much more to the day than that. What I would like to know is how other people have dealt with unrealistic gift asking from their children? Personally I do not believe that a three year old really does want a computer and is just emulating the world around her...god knows I am only ever on it when she is asleep but after Granddad went to a Mac shop the other week that is all hear of....what has anyone said to kids when they know that what their child says they want is just not going to happen?

In terms of bribery...well given that nana and granddad have a lot more to do wth santa than me well using bribery just don't work there and I figure that I don't know one person who would follow through with their threat of holding off Christmas presents so that's just plain silly.

 

I am the same as stephanie, we do the whole santa/tooth fairy thing and I love it, it's magical and wonderful, the anticipation and excitment on the kids faces - I wouldnt trade it for the world. My eldest daughter is getting to the stage now where she is figuring it out for herself, but she still really WANTS to believe, and why shouldnt she? Its great to see her filled with hope and dreams. I can remember vividly looking out of the bedroom window as a child fighting to stay awake in the hope that I might hear the sleigh bells, and I swear I thought I did a few times! Its amazing to sit in the window with my own kids now, holding our breath and listening. I think I am more excited than the kids at Christmas, we all get up really early, about 5am and to hear the kids shouting as they run down the stairs "he's been!!! Santa's been!!!" my god it makes my heart want to burst! It makes all the effort and expense worthwhile.
I never thought my parents had lied to me about santa when I discovered the truth, and I still believe to this day in all that santa stands for, kindness,giving, charity, love and hope.
I would never think of you as a "monster" or a bad mother just because you have been honest with your kids, and I hope that you would not consider me a liar and a bad parent because santa is alive and well and visiting our house in 12 days time!!!

Merry Christmas! here's wishing you and your family bright blessings, and happy days.

 

Good memories involving Santa:
The year when our boys for sure knew that we were the ones putting gifts in their stockings and not some fat man in a red suit coming down the chimney. It was the year that they put stuff (kid's meals toys, mostly) in OUR stockings. So sweet.
And another story. YEARS after this, they spent Christmas holiday at their real Mom's and we went to our cabin in the woods. Normally we would drop them off on the way and pick them up on the way back, so we would be gone from the house the whole time. This time we sneaked back and set up the "Santa" gifts while we were supposed to be gone. So we pick up the boys after the holiday like normal and headed home. Santa did not come to their real Mom's house that year. When we got home, the youngest had a uncharacteristic need to help me with my bags while I was trying to shoo him into the house with his brother. All of the sudden the oldest comes running out of house, long ole arms and legs just pinwheeling in his excitement, yelling "SHANE!, SANTA CAME!, SANTA CAME!" Makes me tear up just remembering it.
And last year, youngest got Stridex in his stocking (cuz he's getting to THAT age) and he looks up to me and says real quiet "Which Santa got me this?" He wanted to thank me.
They understand, and have for a long time, that Santa is an ideal and a symbol.

 

well, i don't in any way consider a celebratory make-believe fantasy for a holiday to be a terrible lie. i'm not going to teach my daughter that her imaginary friends aren't real and that when she says she's playing with them she's lying to me. that seems really silly to me. but i don't see why anyone else should give a flying rat's ass how you raise your children to deal with the mythos of the holidays. it's not their business. you know your kids better than anyone.

 

My son is really really into the whole christmas thing this year. He goes around all the time saying, "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas." It's so cute. Especially since he can't pronounce s's. "Ho, ho, ho, Merry chrima." We've tried to use Father Winter as an alternative to Santa, but it's just not working. This day care provider is really pushing the Santa thing I think. That's the only place he could be getting it. I'm about to give up and just let him celebrate christmas. We will be going to Grandma's anyway and she's big into christmas. So my little pagan son and his Jewish cousins will all open gifts from Santa at Grandma's house on christmas eve. We will open gifts on Yule and Father Winter will fill his stocking on Yule. But I'm sure he will think that Santa did it. We will have our annual gathering of friends for Yule on Saturday. I just really wanted to keep the holiday in perspective instead of all the santa stuff. But it's not gonna happen this year. Maybe next year he'll have more of an understanding about the whole Solstice celebration. There aren't even many books to explain it to kids. I did find a story online about celebrating Yule and christmas. But I wish there were more pagan story books.

Oh well, I give up.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Chrima.
Kathi

 

we are adults and live wth the realities of the world for so long (if we are lucky), I suppose that may be why the few years we can escape so easily into fantasy land are cool....whatever anyone wants to do is really quite ok with me as I find anyone who is respectful of kids but has different beliefs tends to be respectful of this stage of childhood.

enjoy the holiday season whatever you are celebrating it for!

 

Kathi,

I think that a great idea would be to maybe get all the pagan mamas on here to collaborate and write a pagan story book geared towards kiddies!

edit: My daughter is in the holiday play at church (UU). It's called "Where does it all come from?"
The main character is a jester with a time machine that travels through time to find out about the origins of Christmas, Kwaanza (sp?), Yule, and Hannukah.
Maddie's original role was the Sun God, but she got scared b/c she had too many lines. So now she is the "Kristkind" with no lines! It should be very cute.

 

Awww that sounds lovely
Hope it goes well.

That story book would be wonderful.
Don't have any of my own children, but would love to contribute. I moonlight as a writer (never tried a childrens book but would enjoy the challenge).

 

Talk to the people in the writer's forum and the Pagan forum. They might have some advice.

 

That's a great idea. But I am totally not a writer. I would love to buy it though once it was finished.

There is a video that is pretty good by The Puzzle Place. It talks about the winter holidays, christmas hannakah, kwanza, native american traditions, and christmas in Mexico. It doesn't have any pagan theme but it does talk about how all the holidays have lights in them. My son loves it. I just wish it included Yule as well.

Kathi

 

people should not judge you you are being an honest parent and if they cannot see that then they are idiots. You should not have to cringe when other people mentoion santa to your children. I think that when you kids know enough about the real santa and the fantasy santa They will have enough sense and knowledge to know that that person is wrong. I plan on being hoest with my child with santa. Just last year my mom finally told my 7 yr old (now eight) sister all about santa and this year just about a week ago she came home crying cause she was confused she asked my mother santas dead right? and my mother replied yes we went through this last year for a month and my sister had asked than why do all the other kids in my class make fun of me when i tell them that santa was a real man then he died. My mother replied that their parents have not told them about santa yet and to just not tell them what you know and when they are ready their parents will tell them. I do not want to go through that with my kids.

 

If I had kids, I wouldn't do the "Santa" thing or the "Tooth Fairy" thing. I'd rather have my kids know that it was me giving the presents as a symbolic Santa-Claus/Tooth Fairy-like act than lie and say that a big fat man came down our chimney.

Nobody I know knows about my position on it, but I've heard lots of people complain about families that don't do it for one reason or another. Most of their reasons are stupid. My grandma's idea about it was that parents who don't do Santa Claus are doing it because they're so arrogant that they need the glory of their kids knowing it was them.

They're just trying to justify themselves doing Santa Claus. I can't say I have a problem with them doing it, but it's ridiculous for them to complain about other parents. Do they complain about Jewish families who don't have Santa Claus? If not, then why complain about you?