Something I'm experiencing that leads me to a question

For those of you that have read what I have written earlier I'll abbreviate a little. I'm starting to "blossom" but so far only a little. My therapist tells me that if I am a good girl & keep in good spirits through the holidays she is going to OK me for HRT. I'm looking forward to that so much that it is going to keep me out of the blues in itself some. I will really reach a second puberty then, that is going to be exciting. I'm just sure of it.

Anyhow, as I start to have some breasts & my bottom is filling I am finding the same attraction just as always but I also am wondering if my body is going to end up like one shape or another & I am also comparing just as I am.
I felt guilty in a way a little while ago when I commented to my daughter-in-law that a woman in a gas station in front of us had no bottom & that I thought mine was fuller, the words came out before I could run them through my catty/modesty filter. She did have a guy butt though. When I look at guys it is still the same as it was the attraction is the same & I actually don't think that I have really compared since I was in my teens.

So here's the question. I originally thought I would pose it to the ladies but as I think of it it would be good to have guys answer too. I would think that anyone who is straight & happens to be reading in here may not have ever had the mixed attraction & comparison thing but you could answer on the comparison thing.

When you see someone of the same sex who you find attractive do you also find yourself comparing yourself to them?

I know, I know, I said same sex & I'm transsexual in transition but I think that the principle is going to be the same. For the other transsexuals who are bi or attracted to the gender you are becoming. Are you experiencing this too or did you when you started to develop?

 

Snowdancer, I'm happy that your therapy(?) is going well. But your post is very confusing to me. What exactely is it you're attracted to? "I am finding the same attraction just as always. . . " which is? "When I look at guys it is still the same as it was the attraction is the same. . . " which means you are or aren't attracted or are very or not very attracted? "the mixed attraction & comparison thing" still don't get it.

My answer: Yes always. I might think, "is his butt cuter than mine?" But then, I'm very insecure about my looks.

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I want to add that the comparison thing sort of goes on in straight attractions. I don't mean that the girl is going, "are my tits as nice as his?" The comparison seems to be more like, am I cute enough for him?

One of the news shows, like 20/20 did one of those non-scientific studies.

They first had people rate photos of the opposite sex, 1-10. So every Subject had a Desirability Rating. The people were rating each other. So, every Respondent had a Rating.

And they had to rate whether, from looking at the pictures, if they thought that a Subject might find them attractive. "Yeah, I think he'd do me."

Well, you know how they do those studies, you don't really know what they are after in the study when you're taking it. Then they pool the data and come up with the generalizations.

What they found is that folks who were rated at a 5 say, would think that other people who were rated a 10 wouldn't find them attractive, they were more likely to think that people who were rated close to them on the scale would find them attractive. Folks who were rated a 10 on the scale would say that other 8, 9, or 10s would find them attractive.

What this indicates is that on some level, straight folks are comparing themselves and their desirability to prospective partners.

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no, i don't really compare myself. I may think a guy is more attractive than i am, but I dont compare.

 

I guess I did skip some important details. I'm bi M2F transgender in transition.

So when I say that I am attracted to females in the one sentence & then males int the next I'm not being confused in my mind.

It has been only about a year & a half that I figured out that I'm transgendered so there are lots of new things going on for me. I started out using herbs that have phytoestrogens & anti-androgens to get the development I have so far. This development & the anticipation of more to come has me looking at women not only due to the attraction but also I have been finding myself comparing or wondering if I'll "grow up to look like her". This isn't something that I remember doing with guys.

Does all that make any more sense?

 

Ok.
So you are turning yourself into a woman and are soon to be having your penis cut inside out into the shape of a vagina.
Now what your doing is very intently and skillfully transforming your thinking to be that of a woman.
For you this would mean taking traits and thinking that you see and associate as things women are 'known for' (type of deal) and then emulating them.

Ok, so I suppose my question would be - what surprises or perplexes you about this?
I mean, it would seem to me this is your goal and at this point you must be putting every effort into this anyways and so you are.

 

Usually when I'm attracted to somebody I also wish I looked more like him, but only with certain looks. It's like a different kind of attraction. One is "I hope I look like him after HRT" and the other is "I really want to get with him." There are guys I am attracted to that I compare myself to and there are guys I am attracted to that I don't. It just depends on the guy.

 

I understand what you mean and I wish you luck.

I'm bi and I guess I do find myself compared to them a little.. Liek if I had that chest woudl I be happier/ I like that CHEST! .. both at the same time

It confuses you I know