bottled up

more info on what?


You've got absolutely no one to talk with? No one?

 

well i sorta do.. but


i need to talk to someone that knows whats going on.. knows more than me about this.
this is the second time this has happened.. kinda pisses me off.. i knew it would and the person it happened to is so damn hardheaded didn't heed my warning and it happened..

i just hate the powerlessness i feel... and i probably wouldn't have been able to stop it anyways if i was there.

maybe i just fear them dying

 

people are smelly and usually not worth your time

 

ahahaha true.. but damn it.. why can't i have a best friend right now when i need one? hhhmm..

 

You know what I usually have this kind of problem also. I've been told when I was younger that I could go to any one and talk to anyone. Well when I thought that I could trust my step-dad to talk about private things or not so private things, it always blew up in my face. With him, at age 14-15 he allways asked me questions and told me to give him my honest opinion in what I thought, and I would and he would get in my face because that wasn't what he wanted to hear. Now when something is wrong with me I hold it in and my husband can tell when I am holding something in. He tell's me to tell him what's going on with me and what im thinking, and I always tell him that im afraid to. Im scared that he will get frustrated with me, get pissed off with me and leave the room because he didn't like what I said. But he say's just tell me I might get frustrated just tell me. Im not going to hurt you. You know it's taking me a long time to talk to him, it's not that I don't trust him, it's just I don't want to piss anyone off. But if I don't talk to him, I write my feelings down on paper, then usually I feel much better.

 

yeah i know what ya mean..


my mothers the same way.. gets this glazed over expressionless face when i try to talk to her.. about anything :H .. makes me feel like what i have to say is .. crap.
this damn internet has been my outlet for a few years now and i really just need some real human contact.
i just have a hard time making friends offline.. "socially retarded"

so i just keep it all inside or write it down or vent online..

this is just something i wanted to talk/cry/laugh over with someone :&

 

I know how you feel, boogabah. I keep certain things to myself too, but I'm also lucky to have some really nice friends here whom I can talk to about some stuff. Outside the internet, I can basically talk about anything and everything to my best friends, which is a very comforting thing.

Anyway... I know we don't really know each other, but if venting is what you're trying to do, I can be a good listener. Just so you know.

 

thanks


thats why i figured i'd vaguely vent on here. seems a lot of good folks are on this forum.

hard to find good folks around here, i've always got my eyes open for them though.

i wrote it all down in my journal.. but still, just one of those things i guess

 

You're welcome.

Well... As far as the Random Toughts forum is concerned, I've become a little weary of certain threads due to their hateful vibes. But this community as a whole has some really good people, and I've been fortunate enough to come across a number of them already.

Anyway, I suppose I shall have a look in your journal(you mean the online one here, right?), if you're OK with it...

 

well.. it's on myspace.

 

ahaha .. you the super hero here to save the day?

 

Oh, ok... I guess I'll just be here, and if you ever want to vent, feel free.

 

okay

 

me too.. me too..

 

thats fine.. you have the big ego big mouth.. and i'll be the shy/sly one