I don't know any psychics IRL, but I know there are some on here, so I have a question for you guys. My husband and I are polyamorous, and there's a guy that's interested in me. I've known him for 4 years and he and I have been really attracted to each other from the start, but I was already with my husband when we met, so nothing has ever happened. Now he's more comfortable with me being poly and wanting to get something started between us. I'm just wondering if it would work out if I got involved with him. I've never been with another guy besides my husband, though I've messed around with a couple just a bit, plus a couple girls, and my husband's been with a couple girls. I'm kinda nervous about the whole thing. Will it be worth it in the long run or will it ruin our friendship or my relationship with my husband? If anyone out there could help me with this, I'd be very grateful. Thanks!
There are many other issues to be considered. You can not count on the emotions being reliable or accounctable. With out respect, and honoring the choices you have made, and within your own being, or loosing site of what your intent is can disrupt, and change everything you have worked toward, and know. You can not count on the one being brought in to your space not getting emotionally attached, and then demanding exclusiveness, and or possessiveness. Co-dependence(both the enabler, and the one being taken care of) often looks out for itself, and the bottom line is selfishness, and neediness. This is not love. Love does not draw some one in for the egos needs to flirt, while looking for shallow satifation. A true connection will value the whole of who you are, and where your choices have taken you. In this as you are true to yourself, you will be true to the beauty of the whole. This is where balance, and depth within the working together as a couple, or connection will add, or take from the shared space of the individuals, and the moment you are in. Yes there are connections all over the world, and adding sexually charged desires to the exploration of the bounderies, before you understand what those bounderies are will change everyone forever. Without commitment, trust, and openeness, someone will get hurt. Asking yourself is this for, or against the relationship will help. Is everyone on the same page, or just saying what you want to hear or think you heard.. What happens in the end should you get left out. And a million other questions. Communication with all parties will make, or break the connections. Often words, and actions can give a double message. Dig deeper, and ask yourself what you are really looking for. Only as deeply as you face your self inside, will you face the changes this choice will demand of you. Searching out the levels of these choices knowing the grass is not always greener when mowed, or what you thought was a connection turned out to be no more than emotions wanting to be stroked. As I told my daughter when she asked about relationships and sex, "If you do not want to eat worms, do not open the can." In other words what you seek to explore will teach you about the choices you have made, and sometimes those lesson can be very hard ones. In the end what you start will often take on a life of its own, and in this place you will need to understand who you are, thus paying the price for the lessons, and choices all have made. There are no promises, and or guarentees, Only experiences that will ask us to face ourselves, and how we used, or loved those around, and close to us.
Hello, You are so insightful and eloquent. But, always remember, this girl is just that, a YOUNG girl. Really, I never wanted to believe this either, but what you're into at 20, you don't like too much at 25, and so on. I never wanted to marry, and I wanted to live "polyamourously", meaning loving realtionships with the opposite sex, including sexual activity. In this day and age, it is a wonder that any of us found even one person to share life with, let alone two or three. Monogamy is the way to go. People say they don't ever get jealous, but that is just human nature. Believe me, monogamy can be as hot as sex with some guy you've been dreaming of for a long time. Dreams are free,and they don't spread disease or rumors. So my advice to this young woman is to keep fantasizing. As you get a little older, you may still "swing", but it will take on a different form. I promise. I finally did get married, after being proposed to for five years. I've sampled and used and have been used by more people that I care to count. What counts now is a family, true trust and love with a person that loves me more than anything. We can be open and free and never embarassed about what makes us "tick". So, this young woman may go on to the swinging lifestyle, as when you are about fifty, I don't believe they call it polyamorous. Maybe she will find her true soulmate, because when that really happens, no other person's body or soul would ever make anyone as turned on as a person that is very much in love with them, and share much more than physical and sexual attraction. Go to college, sample the life and times there, and find out what really makes YOU tick. Not just sex. I think going away to college was one of the best decisions I have ever made. That and marrying my husband. He is lucky too. We are lucky to have found each other in this world where so many are alone after years of parties and sex. You really do want more than that when babies come into the picture, or just life for that matter. I'm not judging you, it's just that I was you until about ten years ago. But I know when I'm in my later years I will be grateful that I'm with someone who wants my opinion and help in every decision. Plus, if you notice, many people, young and old, are sooo alone. Sometmes it's because they believed they had all the time in the world to experiment, which you should do. But for life???? Be happy sister.
minkajane, you don't need a psychic on this one. do you love your husband? did you make a committment to him when you got married? are you feeling lonely and neglected by your husband? you need to look at those things before you decide to have an affair and possibly ruin the trust you and your husband have between you. is it worth losing him for a sexual encounter with another man? angel
You guys don't seem to understand the polyamorous philosophy or lifestyle. I am not a swinger. I have absoluely no interest in being a swinger. The guy I'm interested in is not just a sexual conquest, he's someone I've been friends with for quite some time and am interested in as a person, not just in a sexual way. Both my husband and I have had relationships besides each other, both sexual and nonsexual, but always involving emotions and commitment. Yes, I love my husband. Does that mean I suddenly become incapable of loving anyone else? No. Yes, I made a commitment to my husband. Does that commitment disappear if I make a commitment to someone else, or if he does? No. I am NOT talking about an affair. I am talking about a romantic relationship in which all parties involved are completely aware and involved. My husband is completely aware of my interest in this guy and is totally fine with it.
if that's so, i'd say go and find out if you and the other guy can really become a couple too, but always keep your eyes open to see if your husband is really okay with this. because if you like it or not, it will not only be a relationship between you and the guy, but it will involve your husband too, maybe not in an 'active' way but emotionally.
