Well I havent posted in forever. I feel terrible...but so much has been going on in my life you have no idea. This might sound stupid but Im really confused. How do i create a better relationship with my dad before its too late? Im still living with him but he has threatned to kick me out...soon. I have been trying to save my money but it just disappears. Well I know where it goes...and i just cannot save it. Im not going to give up though...I know its all mental and i have to find it within myself to actually want to save my money. But thats not my biggest issue. I know that i can live live with my dad until i die if i really wanted to...but only if i had a better relationship with my dad. You see about one year ago my parents split up and about 2 months after their divorce...WABAM theres a girlfriend living with me and my dad. I cannot stand the girlfriend. Its just been such a big change that i dont know exactly how to deal with it. I try to explain this to my dad but he just tells me that im selfish. Personally i think i am one of the least selfish people that i know, if someone needs something i am more then willing to give it up. I feel so immature in this situations because of my dad constantly putting me down as well as the girlfriend. For instance the other night the girlfriend came into my room and went off on a rampage on..in her exact words "I FUCKING HATE YOU YOUR A TERRIBLE PERSON...BLAH BLAH BLAH." Lately my actions have been despite her. I know thats terrible. I have never been like that before. I have always tried to do my best to make myself become a better person. Lately i have just felt trapped. This probably all just sounds very confusing...which to me it has been. I dont know what i can do anymore. All i want is a better relationship with my dad....without her. Im just rambling on but man it feels good to get it off my chest. Any insight is better then none...I just need help to stop feeling the way that i do. I have never once in my life been sad or depressed because thats not how i am. I am not the kind of person who tries to create drama to get attention from other people. If anything i try to avoid drama as much as i can. Which is part of the reason why i have no relationship with my dad because i leave to get away from the problems. This is probably not the best way to deal with it...but it comes to a point when i just need to talk. I know that theres no getting around any problems and i just have to deal with them...but i have just come to the point of not even caring. Ive just been freaking out lately and have felt trapped...almost like giving up Anyways im sorry to bring my problems to you guys but i just need other peoples thoughts. I dont need anyone to feel sorry for me or anything...just help getting out of where i am...
for money: set up a savings account that dings you with big fees whenever you remove money, but you can put in as much as you want. Put in at least 10% of whatever you make, from any cheque or any job, the selling of anything. I'd recommend more like 20 or 30% if you can afford it for your dad, well... I'd say it sounds like you two need some one on one time. Go out for a sunday brunch every week, or a coffee every wednesday, or something.... make some fun activity happen weekly with -just- the two of you. Say you want some quality time with him, that you already live with him and his girlfriend and it would be nice to spend some time with just him. Don't bash the girl while saying that as for the girlfriend, well, she sounds like someone you should just try and ignore as much as possible. I don't mean not responding to her, but don't seek her out, don't start unnecessary conversations with her... if you two simply cannot get along then why start getting into fights and disliking each other even more by being increasingly interactive with one another. Don't knwo if that's the best advice, but it's what I would do
Well thank you for your response...i agree with the ignoring of the girlfriend. I have actually started to just ignore her for the most part after the incident of her saying that she hates me. I really apprieciate your repsonse thank you so much...Im going to try to be around more so i can start a relationship with my dad again. Thank you
I hope it goes really well for you... fathers can be hard to get along with sometimes. My dad and I don't talk too often but we still love each other... he lives in another city, has a new fiancee an dbasically has really changed his life a huge amount in the last five or so years. I'm really happy for him, but we aren't as close as we used to be. My step dad (who's now seperated from my mom) and I aren't as close as once we were either, but we've both been making an effort to try and see each other at least once a month. He lives just outside of the city on a farm, and I don't drive, so it's hard for us to get together sometimes. We do go out for coffee or brunch every now and then though, because it's important to both of us to stay connected (even if he won't admit how he feels sometimes )
My sister is the same with my dad - she has found out what she is interested in and she's doing it e.g fishing, walkling, start with talking about things he likes - simple things, then go on a bit more. as for money im the same as you and cant/wont give any advise on that bit lol ---- good luck
