online love...do u believe it can work?

hi,i am new to this forum ,i registered today
well,i wanna ask u guys here,do u believe online relationship can work?personally i have been with this guy officially for over 10 months,we exchanged plenty of pics ,and almost contact daily everyday ,via internet and talk on phone or send sms to each other's cell phone.i am sure he is the guy that i talk to over the net,
but for the past 1 month,it has become sooo tough for me,coz he is busy ,and we reduced our contact a lot,that made me go insane :$ ,and i have never cried like the last month,almost everyday b4 i fell asleep,i always cried a lot ....and i never doubted about us b4,now i just feel a bit confused ....just wanna share and maybe i can expect some helpful advice here.... thank u

pumpkin_wenni

 

NAMASTE

I look back at how many ways i have meet friends threw the years and as the net goes i am sure that it can happen.One thing though is that on line no matter how long you have shared and talked and grew to some point being in person is the only way to grow and truely know each other.If there is a strong bond with one another then to be healthy at some point there must be a time when you both can meet and grow in person.Long distance loves are hard in them selves but online loves are harder i would think.Plus when you have a long distance love and i say this as you would have seen and spent time with each other like when two people are with each other and one leaves the state to work or go to school then in that self can be hard anyway you look at it.Have you ever meet????Or just on the net???You both if what you feel for each other is real then take it the next step and meet each other in person.Now with that said take a friend with you when you do meet.Safety first.When we talk to people on the net the mind sees one thing and so does the heart.In person you might feel not the same.Just my thoughts.

 

they can work, at least that's what i believe...but damn they are hard in the long run

 

How true, but i believe it also depends on the people and what each one is lookn for...

 

i think it can work myself. I am in a relationship with someone i met off the net well i aint actually met her yet but we talk everyday on yahoo.And we share pictures too.We have a date planned after the Warped Tour 04. the following weekend after.We have fell in love with each other and we will see how it goes when we go out next week..as far as your question...its working for me so far we been talking online for quite a while...hope it works for you

 

it can work ..just depends on the two people involved and if they are willing to make it work.. then its all good

 

hi,guys,thank u for ur reply ,all of them,i really appreciate that.
as the time goes by,i just think he gives less and less to our relationship,and to me....it feel sooo bad that at first i felt he treasured me soo much ,but now always leaves me alone here ,say frankly,this even makes me doubt about myself ,make me even feel a bit unconfident about myself ,this feeling is really bad.... just soooo tough.....
i know that love will cool down as the time passes,but it shouldnt have such a huge difference compared b4 ,right?! espeically we r in such an special love relationship.....phew.....

wenni

 

Hi Winnie, I don't want to be negative or anything, but one of the hardest relationships that I ever had just ended. It started on line...and ended on line. In the beginning it felt like we were meant for each other. We'd write and message one another all the time. She told me things like she felt I was her soul mate and that she couldn't stand the thought of not being with me. We talked on the phone and I was sooo crazy about her. I was so crazy about her that I wanted to drive nine hours just to meet her...even to talk to her for only a few hours. Long story short, when it came down to it...she couldn't even meet me. I'm not exactly sure what kind of game she was playing, but I found out a day or two later that she had met someone new and that she was back in the swing of things. I kinda think she already had a boyfriend and that our relationship was just her way of getting attention. In short...it sucks to give your heart to someone that you've never looked in the eyes...never had a chance to touch their soul with yours...and never had a chance to trust. My advice to you is to meet your love...however you have to do it, meet him face to face and feel what the energy is between the two of you. I wish you lots of luck in your internet love...I hope if fairs better than mine did
The good thing about my internet relationship was that I found out that she was a fake pretty early on. Don't get me wrong though...not everyone is like this girl, most people out there are real and genuine...and an internet connection is a great start...but it's just a start. You have to go to the next level to make it real.

With lots of love and Peace

 

What I can offer you is my experience.

I met my current boyfriend online and my ex too. With my current man, I met him one and a half years ago. I remembered that when we first started talking, he and I both agreed that we were not interested in pursuing a relationship which was the reason why he responded to my ad because I live in a different city. I also remembered noticing his feelings had changed. How could you not when a man wakes up early in the morning (at 6.30am)every day to go to his office to email you just because his computer was broken? How could you not when he actually returned to the office after work (9.30 pm) upon discovering that his internet connection was off at home just to email you? Even though we haven't met yet, it was an incredible feeling to have a very special email in your inbox every morning.

As things developed, he started messaging me on my cell phone after having my number for about a month, then called me about 2 weeks later after he returned to the country to ask me out.

I remembered that during the 'honeymoon stage', I felt like I was in a dream. He would come onto MSN eventhough he was so busy just so that he would feel that I was next to him. He would apologise for his infrequent emails, he would constantly worry about me finding a better man than him.

Now, after being together for more than a year, all the courting has stopped. He feels safe that I am his so his energy goes into his work. Emails and MSN has long dried out. Because we are not in the same city, sometimes if we don't meet for over 2 weeks, I will go crazy and start imagining things. I will think that he is just using me, he is so selfish. His work always comes first and his students always comes first (he teaches adults too which fuels my craziness). At times like this, I will feel so upset and cry but you know, the moment we meet again, I would know that while I had been so busy thinking up his motives, he was just working as hard as ever and it was just me being crazy.

You know what I mean? He's as commited as ever but he just feels that he needs to make as much as possible when he has this inredible opportunity so that our future will be better. But I am a girl. I need constant emotional reassurance...

All in all, I feel so sad sometimes when we are apart that I start thinking that he never loved me but when I met him again, it is all just in my head. I don't know how to stop this cycle. I've tried too, to date other men but I cannot even go beyond talking to them once I find out that they are interested, I stop them. The moment I meet my boyfriend again, I know that I love him only.

I think only you can answer this for yourself because you are the only one who has met him or spoken to him. But sometimes when a guy feels that you are his, he relaxes his courting alittle just because, you know. It is tiring to be constantly trying to win a girl over every day for the rest of a person's life. If this is the case with your guy, then its okay but if your instincts tell you that its something else, trust it. Don't let a ignorance hurt you more in the long run (as with my ex)

 

it does depend on the people, but people change with time...though you can meet people online, i do think for the relationships to work they should become real, for want of a better word

 

Me and my fiance met online. I was living in Mihigan and he was in Texas. We decided finally to make a go of it, and I moved to Texas to be with him. We have been living together successfully for 4 years now, and things couldn't be better. Things are great!

I would assume that it has about the same chance of working out as any relationship.

 

it can work for some people... doesn't mean its going to work for you... it didn't work for me. We met eachother in real life and everything, just all fell to peices in a while... ide known her mostly all my life but shed lived away with me... we were all in lurve or wahtever i guess... but that things just got rough and we eventually both went insane and she put me in a horrible depression..

i would say its not wise... its too hard.. not to be able to touch someone or be able to physically be there with them.... itll get you in the end... my brother met a girlonline and now she lives with him over here and they are doing fine... but you never know..

kinda like real life, sometimes it works, sometimes it makes you insane... sometimes it just doesnt work.

i wouldnt ever do it again in my life.

 

I think online love can work. It may not be the easiest of things, but it has worked for some people. Actually, if all goes well (I don't think it shouldn't), I'm going to meet someone I've known online this September. We wouldn't met much earlier except that well... she lives on the other side of the world.

 

I met my husband online!

 

thank u guys ,i know online love is really tough,i just experienced the most tough month i have ever had during our relationship,well,now my bf is not such busy any more ,and we had a long neat talk about our problem etc...after that ,it really made me feel much better,and now it just gives me more confidence about our relationship...

and to Cryptoman,i am sooo sorry u experienced those tough moments with ur online partner,and yeah,i think u sorta luck that u found out everything early,and that didnt give u more pain....

to vanilla,u know what?i cant agree with u more,at the first beginning ,my bf also did a lot for our relationship,he works during the night,finishes work at 4am each day,and then when he arrived home from work ,he would come online for me and chat with me for an hour or so ,then he would go sleep and wake up in 3 or 4 hours ,and talk with me again for about 4 hours,sooo during that time,basically we talked to each other about 5 hours each day,but now ,only 1 hours or 2 hours each day....i think he now really feel secure about our relationship...he just switches his energy to other stuff...

phew,i know it gonna tough ,and will become tougher and tougher....

but simply thank u....thank u all

wenni

 

Hey Wenni,

I am glad that things are working out for you. It took me a whole year and months to come to terms with this. I mean, who wouldn't miss all those moments when you were made to feel that you were SOOO special? But then again, if you think about it in terms that he feels secure about the relationship, it also means that he's commited which is something some people (both guys and girls) shy away from.

I realised that I get into thinking crazy things like he only cares about his work and what am I to him when I don't meet him for a while because the moment I meet him, he is just as commited as ever if not more. In the end, I know that its all in my head. That doesn't mean that I can stop those crazy thoughts but at least I don't get carried away by them and I can work to reduce their frequency. It's just me feeling very insecure.

All the best~

 

hiii,vanilla ,OMG,u know,i am an insecure person also~,and u know ,and i think i more i devoted into our relationship,the more insecure that i am ,i have to admit it,maybe b/c i love him more and i am afriad of losing him more ,who knows,and i am kinda emotional u know,my mood can change fast ,and without any reason sometimes,and when the sad emotion caught me,god,all those insecure things came into my mind and just took control of my mind,i could imagine all the worst situations ,and i can easily make myself believe that it kinda would happen ,then ....god ,its ~~,i know its soo bad for our relationship,and now i am trying to change myself~ .but as my bf,he is kinda more mature than me,and he can control himself sooo good,actually he never show off his feelings ,sooo u see,an too emotional person vs a soo calm down person,i sometimes is really dont know what to do,coz he really never shows he kinda misses me or not~
we have known each other since last september,soo it will be our 1st year anniversay soon,but we havent met in person yet,how about u~
u know,we kinda have the same experience,i hope we can contact more,maybe we can PM each other~?
hope to hear from u soon

wenni

 

I have heard of really successful relationships that did start on line. I guess it could work. The internet is huge. But, I am sketchy when it comes to meeting people cause people could say anything on line.. So, I would advise to be really careful and to meet in a public place..

 

I've done the online thing for many years (by saying that, I sound ancient!), and in my experience, you cannot set your heart so deeply on something/someone that you've never seen/experienced in person. The online person and the real person are often very dissimilar. Most of the time, you will set yourself up for disappointment. Many times, you may lose the one that you think you love to someone else on the net...It's sort of (BUT NOT EXACTLY), like a bar. You know what they say, meet them in the bar, lose them in the bar. In general, through all my cynicism, I do believe the net is one of the best place to meet someone initially. You aren't immediately attracted physically to them. Often you speak to them before you see any pictures (sort of weeds out the shallow ones). Not to mention the fact that you have very little chance of meeting someone who is inebriated and doesn't remember you the next day (A.K.A. bar). All in all, don't wrap your entire life around someone that you've never met, or for that matter, someone you have met. I dont care what anyone says, you need to go out! Have fun! Go out with girlfriends. It's HEALTHY! Don't wrap yourself around one person, because look what it's doing to you! One question though...after a year...why haven't you met?

 

hii,we live sooo far from each other,in different world u know, with thousands of miles between us,and we r both students,he is getting his master's degree,and i am studying in university for my bachelor's degree~~,soo he said he wishes he could come to me when he finishes all his study,coz 2004 is his last year of his study,soo next month he can receive his master's degree,and we planned that he could come to me in this september or october~,but we still need clear plan~~~,actually our first meeting will be soon...
and thank u for ur advice,i know it~,u r right ~,but i simply have become soo attached to him ~~ -_-

thank u

wenni