Hi all, Ok, here's a situation I've now experienced three times. I'll have a very close female friend who I start to date. By very close, I mean these are all girls that I considered my best friends. After dating for a short while, things will become awkward, and we'll stop. It has never ruined a friendship, but it has them awkward and never "whole" again. Anyway, I'll always ask the girl why she started seeing me, and all their responses were the same: "I didn't know exactly what I wanted. I've decided that I just can't handle a relationship." Anyway, this frustrates me because I do not take being with a friend lightly. If I just wanted casualness, I'd find someone I wasn't close to. It bothers me that they are willing to jeopardize our friendship when they aren't even sure exactly what they want. I have always gone into these relationships hoping that they evolve. Why is it that a girl would start simething with a good friend without an intention of it going further. I've desired casualness, but have always gotten it with someone I wasn't close to. Sorry for my rants, women are perplexing. Peace
So many dynamics in a relationship. Girls follow their heart. Thats why sometimes it seems cruel how they just jeopardize a frienship or just end things suddenly when they know it COULD be good. Once they have made there mind up thats it. Its a self defense mechanism. This may not always be true but it happens. Dont go into a relationship expecting anything. You seem like a nice guy and thats the problem. Good problem you will just learn sometimes girls want to be with you for the same reasons most guys wanna be with girls. A flush of emotions, curiosity or even a nut. Dont rule those factors out. Once they have it the question is answered and they feel the friendship is over and is wierd now. And think they were right you wanted more and it will always be in the back of your mind about how you got your freak deaky on. I know I assumed a lot be just giving you my 2 cents. May we all live long and lucky.
I've dated someone I considered to be my best friend before. So for myself personally, I mistook the love I felt for him as a friend and the mild sexual tension that existed between us for something more. Once that tension was relieved, I was left with the friend love, which didn't cut the mustard for me. And then it became awkward between us. I pursued the relationship for the same reason I pursue any relationship. I hoped he would be the love of my life. I was mistaken in that instance, and lost his friendship, which was sad. But I had to take a chance at happiness. Sometimes what you lose from a chance is more than what you gain. Them's the breaks. Hope that helps. ^.^
I ususally date people that i become friends with first. After the the break ups i haven't talked to some, but others continue being my friends.
"its harder to be friends then lovers ,and you shouldnt try to mix the two, becuse if you do it and your still unhappy then you know that the problem is you" liz phair
