Post Your Extremely Offensive Jokes Thread

Why do women have two sets of lips?

so they can piss and moan at the same time

what do you get when you cross an eskimo, a gay man, and a mexican?
A snowblower that doesn't work

why don't mexicans and black people breed
the kids would be to lazy to steal

 

what's that useless skin around the base of a penis


a man.....








there you go....

 

HOLY FUCK
I made a thread exactly like this in another forum the other day...

these were probably mentioned:

Q: what's the differnce between a black guy and a large pizza?
...
..
.
A: black man can't feed a family of four

Q: what's the difference between a jew and a pizza
...
..
.
A: pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven

Q: what's wrong with 5 niggers goin off a cliff in a caddy?
...
..
.
A: caddy seats six

 

Why do women love Jesus?


Because he's hung like this...(hold out your arms like you're being crucified)


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Why is shit tapered at the end?

So your asshole doesn't slam shut...


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i cant, fat girls can't handle it

 

What's the difference between a ****** and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

 

What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."

 

Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?





A. Fill it with gas

 

Why does a penis have a hole in the end?





So men can be open minded.

 

shane! whats with the parapalegic jokes?!

 

wow this thread is great!!!! im getting a hard copy of this thread!



but here's my contribution, even though its a variation of one of those already told



what's better than throwing a baby off a cliff?

catching it with a pitch fork



what's the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies?

i dont have a ferarri in my garage

 

What do you do if your baby is crawling around in circles?
Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What's worse than six dead babies in one trash can?
One dead baby in six trash cans.

 

There was a warning in the first post...

 

What does a woman do fresh out of the battered women shelter?
The dishes if she knows whats good for her.


Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
Who cares?


How maybe dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.


Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years?
They heard someone dropped a quarter.


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.


What's the first thing a blonde does when she gets up in the morning?
She goes home.


So this guy comes home from work one night and finds his girlfriend packing.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm leaving you."
"Why?"
"I just found out that you're a pedophile."
"Wow...that's a mighty big word for an 11 year old."

 

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.



How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 pussy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.

 

A girl comes home and says Dad I want to borrow the car keys, her father says "You have to suck my dick first" The girl says hell no but then thinks about how bad she really wants to go out and say OK. She then starts going down on her father. A few sucks and she says "Oh man dad your dick tastes like shit!!" Then her dad says "That's right your brother already asked to borrow the car"

 

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?



When she gets to 69, she gets a frog stuck in her throat.

 

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple waits until you're 13 before coming on your face.


Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."

St Peter: "Not likely!"

Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."

At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on.

St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."

Jesus: "Bugger off!"

Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."

Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God.

Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."

God: "Tell him to get lost!"

Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."

God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a fuckin' wooden one!"

 

What's white and zips across the sky at 100 mph followed by a band of angels?
The coming of the Lord.

An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

"Yes, how can I help?" asks St Peter.

"I'm here to meet Jesus," says the Indian man.

St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, "Jesus, your cab is here!"

 

I know


I was just concerned because I found the parapalegic jokes funny.