How to ask bf for an open relationship?

hi you guys,
I'm 19, I've been dating a guy for 2 years and he's my first "real" boyfriend. Lately (past 2 months) have been having crushes on other boys while still really liking my boyfriend. We live in different towns and only get to see eachother on weekends...and recently we haven't been spending much time together cos he's got family stuff. it's cool but I've been feeling rather pent up...and my interests in other boys continue. How should I ask my bf to open our relationship, I just want to be involved with one other person (possibly)...

thanks
Tracy

 

First off, you're 19 so you are extremely young. When i was 19 I had all kinds of boyfriends(and girlfriends.hehe) anyways, just sit him down and tell him the truth. Explain things to him very clearly and be sweet about it. If he starts freaking out or whatever just tell him you still want to hang out and see him, but you want other friends too. This is always a tough situation. Good luck.

 

ya....theres also a girl in one of my classes that I have a crush on... i don't know anything about her except that she is very pretty...and smiles...which is certainly a plus...

 

Do you love him, do you really want to continue your relationship with him, or is it one of convenience, meaning, to have someone there? If you indeed love and care for him, and he is willing to explore an open relationship, then so be it, but maybe you just need to move on, maybe you're just not into your current relationship and are looking for a way out subconsciously to distance yourself due to dissatisfaction.

I don't know, just a thought.

 

How open are you willing to have the relationship? If he were to be seeing another chica on the side how would that register with you? If no problems that MIGHT be the angle you approach from.

If there IS a problem than you're better off either repressing your feelings for other guys and gals OR breaking things off to explore other horizons.

 

I love Ken very much, he's crazy and we've gone through some trials but I can really tell that he's trying... Its strange cos he makes me very happy and very sad..and he can piss me off like none other...
as far as the open relationship thing goes...Well see, he and I have talked about it before and he's given me his ideas on it. He says he has no interest in being with anyone else but that he will let me do whatever I think is right... it wont be a surprise or anything when I bring it up... i guess I just need to make sure its worth it. These crushes.... I've been really straightforward with the guy I am currently really into I flirt and I told him that I have a bf... he said its cool. after I get to know him...if he's worth it I'll talk to Ken (the bf) about it..

 

"Hey, boyfriend. I'm going to sleep with other people. The question is, do you still want me to sleep with you at the same time and have you as my sweetie.

If the answer is yes, you're cool and hip and it's an open relationship.

If the answer is no, g'bye, church boy. Mama's boy."

 

any more advice? I'd value it..=)

 

Yeah, your BF basically has no self-respect, and either he will dump you in disgust or you will move away from him out of guilt or cause you like another better.

Makes more sense just to break up, no?

 

Touchy, touchy subject here.

 

The only time I ever wanted to have an open relationship was when I found out this guy I was with was terrible in the sack. He was everything I wanted in a guy but he just didn't satisfy me. He got with a girl that is president of the abstinence club at her school. So that explains that situation.

Hey, a girl has needs.

edit: I don't know if it was so much open that I wanted or just over. Anyway just be honest with this guy, it can't hurt.

 

i beg to differ, honesty can most certianly hurt, but it would be best at anyrate...make sure you want to do thise because it could crush you too...and even fi he says its okay he could hold it agaisnt you for the rest of your time together

 

He obviously said you could do whatever you want because he respects your freedom, not because he wants you to. I don't think you should go after two guys (or girls) at once because it's unfair to both parties. Break up with the first person before going on to the next.

 

Hehe, if I had a gf and she asked that, well then I wouldn't have a gf anymore pretty much no matter how much I loved her...

I'm on for a three way possibly... But an open relationsship isn't me...

I would ask him tho, some guys are okay with it and others love it...

 

i agree libertine.

 

Sounds like you want someone to fall back on if things don't work out with a new guy. If you're going to hurt him, do it now, rather than some long drawn-out hurt with months of being unsure about what--if anything--he means to you. Don't be a wimp. Make a decision, one way or the other, and stick with it.

I've been in the position you're putting him in and it isn't fun.

R

 

I agree with rmorgan, wholeheartedly.

 

All I can offer on the subject is just don't cheat on him and then ask about it. I could almost guarantee you he'll either say or be thinking "why? Did you already do something", and just not asking and going behind his back will hurt him and leave you with alot of guilt, trust me.

 

Bring it up casually if he's ever though about an open relationship and go from there

Not that fuckin hard

 

Invite dude #2 and his gf/bf out to dinner with you and dude #1. Better still would be to have everyone meet at a party or club. Try getting them into you with some group action. Remember, this is just the icebreaker and you shouldn't commit to either of them if you are truly seeking open relationships. The "openness" won't just apply to one person, but will apply to all those who get between your legs.

If neither dude minds you bouncing around, then you have it made. It is not impossible to respect someone who shares that they enjoy a "no strings" relationship. It is, however, difficult to accept when it is learned through deception.

If you want more than one cock/**** at a time in your life, remember also that the open relationship you seek must go both ways, therefore they too should share in the idea of wanting more than one ****/cock at a time in thier life.

That is the only way the "no strings" approach will work consistently. Openness is paramount.