Hey all . . . Just curious if anyone has some knowledge about this: I've been trying to have sex with my girlfriend, and yeah, we've done it, but she can't seem to like it. She often tells me it 'feels funny', or it 'hurts', and such. I thought something was wrong with me . . . But even the toys were the same way with her. She is very tight down there and never seems to enjoy anything more than fingers and thumbs (and usually not too many either). I've been told it's a psychological problem that many women tend to get. But, how to solve it? We thought, maybe get tipsy one night and thus be more 'open' (No pun intended), and maybe that'd sort of break her into having more enjoyable and relaxed sex. Not sure what to do. It is frustrating, I mean, we've been dating a long time and it's hard to beat around the bush (more pun...), you know what I mean? I do please her orally, etc. I love experimenting, but I would really love to get into enjoyable sex with her. Suggestions, comments?
Like I said, I've given her everything, and she's loved it - except for sex. Anal is off limits too. . .
Sounds like you guys need to take more time for her vaginal opening to relax more. By that, I mean her vagina may need to get more used to having things bigger than your finger or thumb. I think there are a number of things you can do... One: spend LOTS of time on foreplay. Longer the better, really. This gets her body more "ready" to have sex. Hopefully, she'll be very wet, and her vaginal opening wider. Two: encourage her to GRADUALLY stretch her vaginal opening during masturbation. You could also help, too. Just be careful because the whole idea is so she will NOT have to experience the kind of discomfort she's been feeling over time. Three, and the most important: COMMUNICATE with her. Talk to her lots and make her feel at ease about the whole thing. You need to be understanding as to what might be going through her mind when she's havin sex. It could very well be that she's still very nervous about it. If you've been going out with her for a long time(as you've said yourself), obviously she means a lot to you. Take care of her, and make love to her mind before you make love to her body. Good luck.
Good advice there Dont' be afraid to use synthetic lube as well. Lack of lubrication and not enough foreplay can often make intercourse painful. It sounds like you've tried a lot though, has she tried at all to make intercourse more comfortable for herself? I mean, it shouldn't be a one-sided effort... if she isnt' willing to give it a shot she doesn't sound too interested in intercourse
Thanks for the advice guys, I communicate with her very much, and I can drive her crazy with foreplay. I think maybe . . the problem might be that . . we get too anxious to try sex when she's not ready yet . . and then we're disappointed. I think I need to start using more fingers and help her get more used to that. I do plenty of oral . . heh. She's happy there. . . She seems to want to have sex, but is very upset it still hurts her. Maybe we just need to try harder, and keep focused on gradually getting her more , well, open down there. Sounds good?
Yeah, that sounds like a plan... Though, I wouldn't use the term "try harder", here. Rather than "trying", just relax and enjoy the whole experience. After all, sex should be fun. But she CAN achieve orgasm, yes?
Oh most definitely . . . all the time actually. Just not when we're having sex. I can make her orgasm gauranteed otherwise. I'm sure once she's comfortable she'll orgasm during sex. . .
Yeah, if she is already able to orgasm, that's one less thing to worry about. And your plan to take more time and get her more comfortable is definitely a good one. Let's see how things go. I think you're on the right track now, so I say stay on it. Love and sex... How precious.... *sigh*
