Trying to metaphor music

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by Keramptha, Nov 24, 2005.

  1. Keramptha

    Keramptha Senior Member

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    Echoed booming swelled from below, as above, delighted cousins or close relations danced with nodded heads to each another. Humilty spore halls of many closed doors, open with delicate disregard, Laws were forgotten, as ladders ambled steps, up two, down seven.
    Hauntings drew long breaths, before succesful dying. While there, reminded of spaces time can never touch. Ribboning alleyways with no dimension, spun to weave , or meet again. Picking up a tail, or sparks to instant hollowness.
    Spines rode mystique beyond the compared. An endless web. Renewed, in ever escaping billows.
    Twirls of streaming rivers fled on, stopping to circle, a new friend, still, on again, towards the pull.
    Where everything returns.
    Reverberations suck inwards, falling out, saying, I am the only one of this.


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    What do you think i could do to make this better?
     
  2. shaman sun

    shaman sun Member

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    Oh such imagery in the mind! :) It feels like a dancing painting. You get me?
     
  3. jojoeyes

    jojoeyes kinda high

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    although im usually a realist, that wasnt bad.

    u have to title it something simple and generic..."Music" and when people know its about that they kinda get into it.

    i got and im sober. :-o
     
  4. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

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    Beautiful :)
     
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