Let me take this chance to apologize for the length but I would like a bit of guidance or perspective. Isn't that one of the best things we can do for eachother, learn from one another's experiences and views, anyway on to my dilemma. And I thank anyone with the paitence to read through this, and even more to those who reply in some way, shape, or form. Not really sure where a thread like this belongs but what the hell, here goes. I am forced now to make a decision, one along the lines of should I stay or should I go now. I currently live with an old friend of mine from highschool in Detroit, Michigan (excuse me if some uk'ers don't know where that is though I'm sure some do) and we live with his mom and her fiance, let's call him Chester. Anways Chester has this problem with me not being employed and I understand that I am not his child and I don't feel that he should support me, either does he. But work is hard to find right now, though one reason could be that I am a long-haired freaky person (for you Five Man Electrical Band fans out there) and that does go over to well with employers. But there are much more problems than employment here, I feel he is trying to change/conform me into to some upstanding citizen, opressing my spirituality so to speak. We don't see eye to eye at all. He has this problem of complaining of my "problems" to my friend's mom and not to me, which I don't appreciate. He also doesn't believe that I have the ambition for college, the ambition yes but currently I do not have the means as I am going to a degree in Video Game Design, something I love, but in order to do it I need a much better pc than I currently own, which is why I need the job in the first place. To summarize it is not a place a wish to be. So my decision is to stay or move back home, an eazy decision it seems unless you knew my homelife, one of the reasons I left, that and to see more of this little bit of the world. My parents are seperated (though not legally), been that way since before I was one. Lived with my mom, god bless her for putting up with my younger self, until I was 13 wherein her alcohol addiction got so bad we couldn't make it on our own, so we moved in with my dad, whom is very much like chester but worse in some ways. Let me give you an example. My mother which just recently (within 6 months) quit drinking, and this man who I call my father would walk to the liquor store today and buy her a fifth of Black Velvet (her whiskey of choice) if he knew he'd get laid out the deal. And he did so many times before when she was trying to quit it disgusted me, get her drunk and take advantage, I believe once or twice by force when noone was around. I love the rest of my family to death despite their flaws but that man is intolerable. Either place I can live is just a bad enviroment in my mind, but I really want to be there for my mom now as I believe she needs it, as she has told me before. Though she has also said that she believes I am in a better place now away from that influence. So what I hope from someone out there is a little help or advice for this problem of mine. Having found an online college offering a great video game design degree that has no control over where I live. So I guess the question is do I stay here and get this job, buy my computer and go to this college. Or do I move back home, take my father's ridicule and disgusting actions as I work odd jobs like I used to for cash to get me into school. I just feel so damn confused, looking for an outside perspective you could say. If there's anything else anyone would like to know feel free to ask as it is hard to get help with something if the person seeking the help is not completely honest right? Anyway, thanks for hearing me out once again.
I think that it would be a hard descision to make but i think your mom is right. you dont need that influence right now. In my opinion you should either stay with your friend now (but definatly dont change for his old man) or make friends with someone you can move in with, try and get a job and then when you have your feet on the ground, go back and try and help your mom. see the way i see it is that in order to help others you have to help yourself first. I was always the girl solving everyone elses problems since i was younger (which is probably why i seem more mature now for my age) and it didnt help me i always felt troubled when i should have been happy and carefree. sometimes people just have to figure out things for themselves. i dont know if i helped you out any but ithought i'd lend you my thoughts anyway
I like what you're saying, been in the back of my mind actually but the problem is the old man is in charge of whether or not I stay there, and basically it's either conform or get the hell out. I think it's came down to either I get this job at Rally's which I should find out about by saturday, or I'm out. I've been trying to talk my brother in to finding an apartment with me closer to home but he has no ambition to do anything with himself, he's the older brother by nearly two years and he's still in highschool. Maybe I can talk with this owner of the resturant he seemed open-minded and understanding enough during the interview.
maybe your brother could get a job and you both could try and help eachother. do you know anyone else that might let you stay with them? because although it would be nice to try and convince your brother to help you out-like you said he has no ambition right now so he might just end up bringing more trouble.
The only person I know that would move out with me is the person I'm currently living with, though we have been talking about finding a place once we both get jobs and then a friend of mine from back home who is currently attending community college is going to transfer to U of M this summer, which is where the guy I'm living with is going now, so things might work out I just have to hang in there for a few months...well more than a few. But hey to quote the Rolling Stones "Time is on my side, yes it is." Thanks for hearing me out.
hey anytime you need advice like you said it ain't that long so just try and hang in there and if you can be strong it'll work out better in the end
