what is happend to casual free love and casual sex

from someone that experienced the sexual revolution. it was outrageous at first, especially for women as we had always been told that "nice girls don't do it". i had been oppressed by an abusive husband, a mother that was a religious fanatic and everything was fornication to her. when i had the courage to leave my abusive husband and first started smoking pot, man, what a world i found out there. back then the only thing you had to worry about was the crabs and gonnerea (sp). but after a while i got really tired of one night stands. i always wanted love and sex, took me awhile but i finally found it with my wonderful husband. but it was an exciting time to come out of the uptight 50's and go into the new and exploratory 60's. but i feel now that everything needs to be done in moderation. my generation was like a bunch of kids in a candy store, we didn't know that drugs and too much free sex could hurt us. i lost alot of good friends from too many drug overdoses and a few friends that died from aids. life is a total learning trip, in the long run, for me, i like monogomy and having one sex partner. no judgements here, just talking about my life.
hippiewise

 

There is nothing casual about sex for me. For me, its very sacred.

 

That's not the only answer and you know it. The other answer is: We're all getting older. As we grow older, our desire for casual sex diminishes and our desire for real intimacy and companionship increases.

Does this mean we all eventually settle into monogamous relationships? Of course not. Yesterday's casual sex and promiscuity can evolve -- and for many people (including myself), HAS evolved -- into today's polyamory, the ability to have deep, loving relationships with more than one person, openly and honestly with the blessings of all persons involved.

-- Skeeter

 

there is a difference between hippie free love and dirty sluts

 

well said!


nothing wrong in a bit of free love till you meet the one who captivates you....long term...

 

if one thing life as a traverlling musican has taught me, it is that love is never free, it makes a mockery of man.

 

We all need love and we all need to give love in equal measure

 

I feel that people's inability to be true to themselves and others has played a huge role in the demise of free love. People don't / can't trust anymore. Whether it is an emotional (head games) or physical ( STD's) concern, the fact is that we can't trust.

Simple example: The disclosure of # of sexual partners we have had. Guys twist the numbers to the ladies so they don't come across as a man whore. Guys twist the truth to the other guys so that they don't seem un-manly. Story goes the same for the ladies.
Why can't we give each other a chance to embrace and appreciate our honesty? I may not always like the truth, but I will forever appreciate and respect it.

Let the chips fall as they will. Why hide, manipulate, lie, embellish, elevate, or simply deny the truth of our desires or dislikes. We have know one to blame but our own selves. Not society, the government, males or females as a group. Somewhere along our journey we made a lifestyle choice. Now we are living that choice.

 

some groups i've known had so called "free sex". but if u look closely, it's just a game, with a lot of lies, manipulation, sorrow, jealousy.... look under the surface, and u see some nasty behaviors....
Doesn't mean that free love/sex doen't exist, sure it does. But there are many players enjoying intrigues and powerplays and manipulating underdogs.

 

it's not just a lack of trust though. a large percentage of people who have stds don't even know it. and whoever said that stds and pregnancy are not an issue just an excuse because we have condoms...well you need to go back to sex ed. Condoms are helpful in some cases, but a lot of diseases are transmittable by contact. You can get stds and you can get pregnant when you use condoms. It's pretty common actually.

 

Casual sex is more and more popular in China.So is AIDS.

 

I totally agree.
Until you are able to understand the concept of "universal love" probably isn't wise to try here and there and everywhere. People are not toys!
Even one night encounter of love can be a great Love experience if there is great respect.
I may be more easily intrigued by a hippie girl and get that sacred feeling with a pagan sister but anyway there is not anything casual. There is always some click that make it happen. And make you desire to hold that person in your arms and protect her/him.

My advice is to listen to the lyrics of the beautiful Patti Smith song: Because the night. There is a sentance that can make you cry and it is "they can't hurt you now"
Nothing to do with romance or sex excersizes. It is all about the love you bring in your heart.

[...]
come on now try and understand
the way I feel when I'm in your hands
take my hand come undercover
they can't hurt you now, because the night belongs to lovers
[..]

 

Oh it still exists trust me but so do the STDs

 

casual friend-sex. i've had some of that be careful there's a 50% chance it'll ruin your friendship and a 50% chance it wont.

 

Great topic folks. As someone who came up during the rise/fall of phone chats lines and then the explosion of the net were my casual sex rate went HIGH, I totally agree with Retrogroovy. Sex is sacred to me now and I'm relearning how to treat it as thus. That said, I miss the closeness I used to have with regular lovers. Sometimes no sex at all just nekkid cuddling....maybe sex later *eg*

 

Sadly enough, though I'm only 18 I have had the times when I've done the "free love" thing. I have had sex with several of my close friends. When I chose to date somebody, in the relationship way, my "sex-buddies" know that I am monogamous (well, most of them do). I have a very open perspective on sex. Of the people I have had sex with, there have been guys that have been virgins and guys that will straight-up tell me that they've had some 10+ partners. I've never been pregnant, and never had an STD.
It's all about responsibility. You can't just have sex with some stranger off the street you just met, and you can't expect for everyone to understand your opinions about sex. You can, however, have love and respect for multiple people and show this and recieve this through sexual relationships with more than one person.

 

How about ethics. Anyone have them anymore? Sorry... sex is great and if I thought I could do it with any and everyone I saw it would take the fun out of it. So maybe meeting a girl and winning her over is part of the fun. Then she will be their for you and you will be their for her. Sorry I’m old fashion.

 

ccc

 

damn right.

wouldnt it be nice to be able to have casual sex, which actually thinking about it the virus and whatnot around now still dont seem to stop many people from going out and having random sex.

sex is one of the top dangers around now days.

 

I dont think that everyone should just go around having sex with everyone. i mean i dont think a few one night stands every now and than is bad but its not something i really would be into doing often. i dont think that you have to be in love with someone to have sex ethier tho. and i do think that if you have good friends you can sleep with them and still be good friends and nothing more