WEED WEED WEED Stories WEED WEED WEED

WEED WEED WEED WEED THIS HAS TO DO WITH WEED WEED WEED WEED


k, since the moderating is wack, and my other story got moved, i'm psting it here so hopefully it stays, here's #1

Here's part 1:


k, so start off i will introduce the characters taking place in this story

Tyler - My name

Mike - a sloppy stoner at the time, off smoking the smallest roach or the fattestsession, histerical laughter, insane ideas, and pretty much the stupidest shitu could ever imageine would come from this kid, laughing at totally innapropriate times, saying the wrong things to ppl etc.

Scott - a "i'm better than thow" stoner, likes blazing but doesnt like the ppl who do generally, he's a body builder who's brain is in his muscles but at the time, liked to smoke weed and laugh and have a good time with buddies like most ppl do.

Aaron - now aaron is the older brother of the house of 3, my friend who is the younger of the group, this is his brother, now i could not describe him in 1 small paragraph soi will have to kind of describe it over multiple stories, but anyways the guy has a very short fuse, and OVERANALYZES EVERY SINGLE SITUATION*** [NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, to explain it further, say if a girl walked by this guys house, and then came online on msn in this guys mind, this girl purposely walked by his house and then went on msn to like
"teasE" him, shit like that, but ALOT worse is most conditions, btw at the time while me Mike and scott were about 17, he was mm 23?

roch - aarons good friend for a long time

and the story begins...

the night started as most did, with me mike and scott picking up some weed, probably a 20 sac or an 8th and walking over to Aarons house [none of us had our own cars at the time] anyways, we show up and it's just pissing rain outside, like PISSING we walk in, show aaron the bud and show another guy who was over there, a friend of his, at this time everyones happy and all, and we go into his garage, and setup a little hotknife setup, which consisted of a Propane BBQ cylinder, a couple butter knives straight outa their kitchen drawers and a iron Anvil which we were taking the hits off...

anyways aarons friend who was over proceeded to serve us hits in the garage while aaron was then on the phone with an unknowen person, but while we were taking hits we could clearly see he was getting agitated on the phone...

anyways, aaron's friend leaves and me mike and scott proceed to hot knife the rest of the 8th of bud, with only about half a gram left, Aaron then walks in holding the portable phone clearly pissed off, anyways we serve him up a couple hits, and he's just fucked [he was quite the lightweight, but at times could smoke alot] so while we are sitting out in the garage the phone keeps ringing, and everytime he just looks as the call display and wont answer...

finnaly, mike being stupid and stoned asked him who was phoning and started to laugh

Aaron - "it's that fucking idiot roch...he wants me to move my car, it's fucking dead in the drive way, and he says his fucking faggot parents need to get in, MY CAR IS DEADIN THE PISSING RAIN AND HE WANTS ME TO FUCKING MOVE IT!"

ok..we then knew why he was pissed...it WAS raining very hard out, and aaron was dressed up in what would be considered a Designer suit....in the 80's, so obviously he didnt want to get it dirty.

So once again the phone rings, and he finnaly picks up..answering in the same calm tone everytime

Aaron - "Hello..."

Roch - "Fuck man, U HAVE TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR, my parents need to get in"

Aaron still calm - "Can they not park out on the street? my car is dead and i will pick it up in the morning"

Roch - "NO MAN U NEED TO MOVE IT NOW"

Aaron - "ok...let me get this straight....u want me....to come over to your place...in THE FUCKING PISSING RAIN, RUIN MY 1200$ SUEDE FUCKING JACKET AND MY DRESS PANTS BECAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING PARENTS CAN PARK ON THE FUCKING STREET!!!!!!!!?!? [absolutely screaming
at this point]

he then hangs up.
me and scott look at eachother and try so hard not to laughing being so fucking cooked, and then we look over at mike, he's got this huge smirk on his face, and as soon as we meet eyes with him, he burts out in laughter...

Aaron with a look of rage on his face looks over at mike and glares at him until mike somewhat controlls himself..about a minute later the phone rings again...he takes a look at the call display and then puts the phone down on the ground and let it stop ringing...

we then sit there speachless for another minute until the phone rings again...
aaron picks up...

aaron = [calm tone] "hello...."

Roch = man...u have too........

Aaron then chucks the phone across the garage smashing into like 20 spray paint cans, he then grabs a hockey stick, Throws it just over top of mikes head into the side of the garage housing paint, propane etc. he THEN grabs another stick, and smashes it twice through the garage door with 2 one handed swipes, like FAT Gashes in the front of the fucking huge garage door
he then picks up the peices of the phone, puts it back together, and heads into the house, meanwhile we hook up the hot knife setup again, and smoke the remaining 4-5 hits and have a good laugh thinking that it might have passed and aaron might be inside sleeping or or at least chilling....nope...

we pack up the setup and walk inside, pretty cooked and ready to chill
right when we walk in we see him with his head down pressed against his crossed arms which are laied on a counter in the kitchen, just standing there motionless as if he just found out his mom had died or somthing...

so anyways we just stand there looking at him kinda tripping out, to see if he's serious or just tryin to relax...but while we were standing there watching things took a turn for the worse lol...

as we watched him, the final nail was put in the coffin as the phone rang one last timewhich was wrapped up in his arms under his head

Aaron - "Hello"

Roch - "Aaron pleas...."

"SMASH"

he takes the phone, throws it right through the back window of his kitchen a window about 3X4 feet in size, he then grabs a knife outa the sink and stabs a hole in the Wall and cuts up the drywall nicely, absolutley FLIPPING OUT, SCREAMING about why roch is such a moron etc.he finnaly broke down and fell on the floor of his living room crying and smashing his fists the drywall of the closest wall to him

as we stood there watching, mike proceeded to sneakly grab a 1 litre cup full of chocolate milk and come back to stand next to us, when he came back me and scott looked at him with a kind of "WTF?" look, he slowly kept eye contact with us and raised the glass to his lips as we saw this we just said like "oh my god..." out loud, thats when mike proceeded to spit his whole mouth full of chocolate milk, all over the sobbing aaron on the floor, as well as drop the 1L cup onto a white carpet in the living room...

seeing that aaron was in a very vulnerable state, but also being very unpredictable, we decided to leave his sobbing, chocolate milk covered mess, and make a sneaky/quiet exitjust as we left, and closed the front door, only 1 sound was heard...

the sound of the house phone ringing once again.......

 

WEED WEED WEED


here's a new one i wrote just now, Enjoy:


[new character, Jordan was a hella weed pussy, and was scared as shit
driving high, being around people high, and Got SOO FUCKING high always
he shouldnt have been around people anyways lol]


his was the Day, aarons brother Darcy graduated from Highschool...


anyways, me mike Darcy, and a guy named jordan decided to buy some weed and
have a massive session up at this lake we used to go to, so after school we drive
up to this lake, which was about 45 minutes away, the whole time i was busting up
a bag of weed we got.....now i cant remeber how we were getting these deals, but
a few times when we were having these Fatty Sessions, we were getting what rolled out
to be 20 joints, for like 35$ lol! dont ask how/why but that seemed normal and we didnt
complain.


anyways, we get up to the lake, Sit at a picnic table, and roll out 22 nice sized joints
deciding we werent gonna smoke right there, since quite a few ppl and their dogs were around
[even when we were sober we didnt realize we had setup our BBQ and shit in the Dog-Off leash
area LOL] so we grabbed our fold up lawn chairs, and started to walk around this gravel path
that runs around the lake, now this lake is massive so we didnt walk very far, just into
the bush, and then we hiked up the side of the hill that kinda ran along side the trail


Eventually we got to this little chill spot that was like 100+ yards up a fairly steep
embankment from the Trail, the only way u could see the Trail was through like tiny
little patches where the bush cleared, or if u stood up, and pretty much no one walking
down along the path would ever notice you, so we setup our chairs, Whip out the Cd-player
and start our 22 joitn session


me and darcy began smokin 2 joints at once [never mentioned darcy before in the other story
but he's a very cool guy, always chill compared to his other family members, CAN SMOKE A TONNE
OF FUCKING WEED, and even when he's ripped to the point of being paralyzed, he could talk
out of his ass, and convince a cop he was heading to church to pray]


so we start smoking, and as Usuall, Mike is getting fucked beyond repair, he's tripping
on the sonuds of nature, and becoming entranced by birds, to the point where he would
be so out of it, if u tried to pass him the joint, u would have to fucking Punch him so
he realized what was goin on, but when u punched him he would SCREAM like a fucking girl
in terror thinking the punch was a stab wound or somthin


so on...Jordan, the pussy of the 4 of us isnt even taking hits, he's taking like 1 hit
from every 8th joint or somthing, because he was scared he would be too fucked to drive
later on [even though we were not leaving for like 4 hours]


so eventually around joint 13, mike drops out of the session, and it was a good thing because
he was in-cappable of taking the joint anymore, so me and darcy are sitting there with 9 joints
left to go, each doming 1 to our heads one after the next


now i dont know if this has ever happened to anyone....but to me..the Zig Zag whites began
to taste like butter in my mouth...like i couldnt even taste the weed it just tasted like butter
on my lips...so yea i was trippin lol


All this time i hadnt noticed that there were no more beats playing, and i didnt notice either
that mike was changing CD's..so i continue smoking, pretty much retarded, and then Mike begins
one of the biggest trips of my life


Mike: Hey Tyler...fuck who's Rotweiler is that?!?!


me: a look of fear strikes me in the face, and i dont want to turn around
to see if there is an actuall dog there


Mike then proceeds to play a fucking SOUND EFFECTS cd he had made to bring LOL! the effect
was a dog growling and Barking, and it was a very viscious/mean sounding dog


anyways, in my mind i was sooo fuckin scared, and i pretty much said to myself "Ok...
there is no question, your going to get bitten by this dog...just how can i fight it off,
and how am i getting to the hospital?"



so i'm sitting there pissing my pants, terrified, and then those guys start laughing
histerically, Still i didnt catch on until he reached to the CD player and changed the sound
effect to a Police Siren LOL, so w/e i'm done bein scared and we continue on to joint
18-19, still smoking only between me and darcy



then...mike looks over at me, him being terrified this time


Mike: DID U HEAR THAT?!?


Me: hear what?


Mike: it's the Marine Police!


me: Marine police....wtf is that?


mike: the lake police DIDNT U HEAR THAT? They Said "this is the marine police, yea u can
come out now, your busted!"


without saying anything, Mike gets up, grabs his lawn chair and CD player, and fuckin books
it, full out run down a pretty fuckin verticle hill,


ok...he's just tripping, but jordan, who in total probably didnt even smoke a joint
got scared by mikes "Marine Police" Accusations, so he also booked it, leaving me and darcy
to finish the last 4 joints, we stayed there and finished them fairly uneventfully


so then we get up, cooked out of our heads, and walk back down to the picnic table where
mike and jordan had found a bag of those "1 bite brownies" and had left all but Half of a single
one for me and darcy to share


haha we promptly told him to go fuck himself,and then darcy SHOCKED jordan by sayin..


"Fuck this, me and tyler are goin to the store down the road to get a drink"


Jordan was all scared of ppl driving ripped so he was amazed that we had just smoked 22 joints
like 5 minutes prior, but we didnt care and we went up to Darcys little Truck he had at the time


so me and him get in...but what we had forgotten is 2 other friends were coming to meet us,
and his mom was driving them, his mom drove a Silver Honda Oddessy for all those who know
what they look like, so me and darcy get into his truck, and right when we are backing out
we see a silver honda oddesy right in front of us.....


i was thinking ohhhh fuck.....Darcy then, no hesitation slams the truck into reverse, squeels
the tires ripping it in reverse, then books it around through another parking lot to Avoid the
oddessy [which turned out to not even be them, hell it wasnt even SIlver!! lol]


so we are driving back to the corner store, and the whole way darcy is fucking tripping the
fuck out of me, by driving the truck like 2 feet from the edge of a huge clif that ran along
side the road, haha i was fucking screaming/tripping while darcy is just laughing and
ripping his truck the whole way, so anyways, we finnaly get to this little corner store
fairly close by, get out and go in, haha being so fuckin cooked i ended up buying nothing
and darcy bought a pack of Macintosh Toffee hahah


thats the end of #2

 

Still a classic. I had to read it again.

Hopefully it won't get moved again since it is "WEED WEED WEED stories WEED WEED WEED". Add more soon.

 

the 2nd post is a new one

 

this is Mike BTW, to put a face on the name lol

 

Yeah the second one is fucking hilarious. Mike's still the king of all stoners if those stories are any indication.

Keep'em coming.

 

Yeah the second post wasn't there when I started to post. Great story.

 

ellis moved the other one ? where?

 

He put it in the writers forum.

 

L0L

 

haha

 

What the hell? DJ isn't a writer, he's a stoner!! Even if he doesn't smoke much anymore, he and his stories belong here! Because the Writing Forum isn't part of my rounds for checking threads, I'll never find this shit in there.

Sounds like a great time in the woods. Love smoking outside. Reminds me of one failed session over the past summer... We went to smoke on a lakeside once, just starting a J on a frisbee when this dog comes running up; whatever, dog walkers like to come by this lake. But no, this dog grabs the frisbee from our hands and runs off with it to play. We stashed the J and shit then stood around waiting to get our B back and to be left in peace to smoke, but no. The lady that owned the dog just stood around going "Oh, I'm so sorry... no, dont do that, bad boy" as the dog just ignored her and bounded back and forth, in an out of the water, chewing and slobbing all over our B. Then we get it back, and the damn dog doesn't leave until he gets the frisbee again. We got that damn disc back a second time and hid it under our shirts, the only way the dumb retriever would forget about it and leave. By the time that dumb lady and her dumber dog left, my friends had to go back to work and that was the end of that. Stupid animals...

 

That's when you just have to say "fuck it" and take a piss on the lady, and then get your frisbee and run to a safe place to toke up.

 

Hahaha, I can see the headlines now "Stoner Extremists Urinate on Woman, Take the Frisbee and Run"

 

So one day Iw as kidnapped by a couple of friends(Mike and Pickles) who just happened to have an ounce . So my cousin, sister and I and them....smoked all morning and afternoon. We were flippin' blazed. One of them wanted to go somewhere and smoke utside or something. So we all agreed and were on our way. First we needed to get gas.
We got to the gas station and Mike made Pickles pump the gas while he payed. Us girls were just laughing at Pickles the whole time..he didn't even look like he was awake...his eyes were pretty much closed. So Mike gets back in the car and waits. Pickles finally gets in the car and lights up a cig. Mike starts to drive off when he hear a loud CRACK sound... or something of the sort.

Mike:What the fuck was that?

Pickles:I don't know

So I'm the only one who decides to look out the back window.
Me: Pickles yu fucking idiot! You forgot to take the pump out!

Pickles looked back and got wide-eyed. Everyone was cracking up but he looked so worried.

Pickles:Go Mike...just go

Mike:No way man...go get someone in the fucking store

so Pickles had to go get a lady in the store completely stoned out of his mind. The lady came out whilke the rest of us stayed in the car.

Store Ladyh don't worry, it's happened before to other people. You're not the only ones.

Well I was a bit more relieved to hear that we weren't the only ones to have done that, and he ripped the whole tube out of the gas thing. Luckily it popped back on and we got to smoke the rest of the bag throughout the day. It was hilarious.... you should have been there.

 

you arent the only ones to do that lol^^^



Great stories DJ, keep em coming, they're fucking hilarious

 

A few years ago when I was still in school, my friend Amy got arrested for possession. She needed some money for court fines and her family was broke. She had some of the money already but still needed $80. We had no idea how she was going to get the rest of the money.

As Amy's court date neared, we were brainstorming on a way to come up with money without selling our weed. We decided on a rather......strange plan. A few days prior to this night our teacher had told us that she had stolen a payphone in her teenage years and it had close to $100 in it. So we decided to try this out. We were riding down the road around 11pm smoking a blunt and a bowl between the three of us and searching for a payphone. The only one we saw in the area that had no body around it was at this store that was closed down. We decided that this was our chance. We had no way of getting the payphone detatched from the 12 foot steel pole it was attatched to, so we decided to just take the whole thing, pole and all. We knocked the pole over with the bumper of the van and got out to put it in the van. Upon closer examination, the pole was attatched to the ground with some rebar and wire. We had no way of cutting the rebar, so we went back to Amy's house to get some bolt cutters. We came back an hour later and cut the rebar and wire and proceeded to lift the 250-300lb pole and payphone and slide it into the back of the van. The pole was too big to completely fit in the van so the door would not close. I had to sit in the back of the van to hold the shit in there so it wouldn't fall out.

We arrived at Amy's house and took the pole and payphone to the side of her house to avoid any people that might see us while driving by. We spent a few hours trying to get the payphone open to retreive the money, but we just couldn't open it. We did, however, make lots of noise. We were so noisy that we woke Amy's grandfather up and he saw our flashlight through the window and thought we were robbers. He came out of the house with a fucking ball bat and scared the shit out of us. He said that he was going to call the cops on us because we had stolen a payphone, so we put the whole thing back in the van and got the fuck outta there. We took the phone to the beach, which was completely abandoned at this time of night. We left the phone there and came back the next day and worked for a few hours to open it. We finally got it open and retrieved the quarters. The total came out to about $30, which wasn't even enough for the court fines. We ended up cashing the quarters and just spending it on more weed.

Stupid story, but it was a great time.

 

Thats fucking hilarious man

 

thas good shit man. keep em coming

 

Did Amy get out of prison? lol