i have smoked no weed today.

probably because i got up like an hour ago. i cant beleive i slept until 6. i suck at life. im pissed that nobody woke me up, you know? that makes another day i havent gone to school and im fucked. though the night is young, i have to go smoke some pot and take a shower.

 

I haven't smoked in over a week now. I'm holding out for a piss test and am getting pretty fucking antsy.

 

There are these really sweet things called alarm clocks, you can set them before you go to sleep to wake you up at any time you want.

 

Perma, here's what I think you should do:
Take a weed break.
Yeah I know it'll suck, but I think that's what you need to do.
To-morrow or Wed. latest, PROMISE yourself you'll get up in time to go to school. Have a friend/relative come by to make sure.
Go to school. Talk to a counciler(sp). Tell them you've been going overboard with weed and that you've decieded to quit, at least for awhile. Ask for their help getting back on track.
Drink lots of liquids (NOT alcohol!), and excercize, even if it's just a walk around the block. Try to increase the amount of excercize a bit every day.
Stop hanging around with your stoner friends, for at awhile at least.

Spend more time with your family. I know it sounds corny, but help out with cooking & cleaning. Play monoploy with your family, stuff like that.

Oh yeah, and have as many orgasms as you can. Cumming is a better high and better stress reducer than pot ANY day.
It's free and you don't need a pipe! In fact you don't even need a partner and you can't get busted for cumming either.
Cum when you get home from school, then at bedtime, and don't forget a.m. fun in the shower.

The liquids & exercize will get the residual THC out of your system, doing stuff around the house will take your mind off pot, andcumming will reduce stress and make you feel good.

 

no way dude, i feel so out of the loop now....

 

thank you for the advice, i really really appreciate you caring.

but weed isnt the problem. i really think that my family is the problem. my mom really needs to come home. my brother beat the fuck out of me last night and i was up until like 3 writing a letter to my mother, i was really upset. then i fell asleep with my contacts in and next thing i know i wake up and its fucking 6 and my brother & my dad are downstairs eating. thats fucked up because they know i am overwhelmed with school as it is nowadays...my brother goes to the same school, he couldnt have woken me up? and now i have an eye infection & cant wear my contacts so i probably wont go to school tomorrow either because without my contacts i can barely see an inch in front of my face. when i got up my dad was bitching at me. how can i even try to do better when i am constantly reminded what a loser i am? my brother and my dad gang up on me...so without my mom here i feel completely alone. so spending time with my family wont help at all, quitting pot sure as hell wont help, but going to school will help. the thing is i am scared to go back because i am going to be soo lost. i am taking more challenging classes than
i think i should have signed up for this year. its all just really overwhelming. on top of that i am the one doing laundry, dishes, and cooking for these assholes. i clean this fucking house, because if i dont nobody else will and i am sick of living in a fucking shithole. a lot of my effort these days is not focused on myself and i think it should be because i keep getting sicker and sicker. its just one thing after another and i cant take it. oh, and do you want to know why my brother hit me last night? because i put my laundry in the dryer with his because i didnt want to stay up and do another load. oh, and my cell phone has been off for like a week because i havent paid the bill so i am pretty much dead to the world. and now my dad is trying to say that he is going to start keeping me home ALL THE TIME and not let me go anywhere. up until recently, i havent really been home a lot. i try not to be, but you can understand why ( i hope)

 

Why did your brother beat the fuck out of you? If you don't mind me askin.

That's fucked up.

 

thats boarderline abuse, perhaps talk to your guidance counseller or even a social services person...no one should have to take shit like that.

 

You're not a loser btw.

 

If you think you will be lost when you go back to school, maybe you should consider going to night school. That's what I did and it made a huge difference as far as being able to be there on time and it helped me to get caught up as well. Maybe you could at least look into something like that. A lot of the people at the night school went to a few classes at day school and a few classes at night school too. Like a split schedule to accommodate their availability. I'm not sure if you have anything like that where you're from, though.

 

well...i put my laundry in with his because it was late and i didnt want to stay up and do another load. i guess that pissed him off because he ran in the room and yeah.....started yelling about it and you know...
i can tell you didnt read the whole post cuz i already said that....haha but thank you for saying im not a loser that makes me happy even coming from someone i dont know

 

I come from a broken home too, and had a really hard time also. I'm really sorry that youre going through that. Just try to find things that make you happy, and try to finish school.

 

Yeah I read the whole post, but I read it in sections and made a post here and there.

 

You're definitely not alone in having a fucked up family, so you don't have to go through it alone. My family is really fucked up as well. I have a great mom but my dad is a fucking junkie. He only lives a mile or two from my house and I haven't seen him in many years. He doesn't even think enough of me to drive a mile or two to see me and my sister, because he's too busy raising someone else's children and smoking crack and meth.

So don't feel like you're a piece of shit just because your family is fucked up. Just get through it, as hard as it may be, and don't let it bother you any more than it has to. If you're a religious person, pray for some help. If you're not a religious person, do whatever you have to do to realize that you're not a loser just because a few of your relatives don't show you the respect you deserve. Keep your head up and smoke a fatty.

 

i have it way better than most people i know. im optimistic. i can get through this, its just so hard sometimes. i get so overwhelmed and its hard when nobody listens. that is why i resort to sharing my problems with strangers. its unfortunate that not everyone can be as nice as the people i dont even know.

 

yeah, i know what you mean. my family loves dope too much. i love my mom, and i couldnt live without her, but shes more of a best friend than a mom. thats okay though, i just wish she was here. i dont really think im a loser, i just dont have anything to prove myself otherwise so sometimes i feel like one.

 

Here's an idea, everytime you start to feel like a loser just slap yourself in the face and smile about the positive aspects of your life. Maybe not slapping yourself, but something to snap you out of that mindstate. Whenever you feel down, just do something that makes you happy and motivates you; such as toking, videogames, jogging, listen to music, make music, or anything that can cheer you up and releive you of your depression, even if it's just temporarily.

 

easier said than done but....okay

im looking foward to going to school tomorrow. i finally get to get the fuck out of the house. ive actually only been home for about 24 hours but that still feels way too long.

 

shit girl you gotta get outta that house as quick as you cant. a woman cant live in a house where the father is keeping her home and the brother hits her. i mean, are you arabic?????

 

Well, definitely get an alarm clock. Past that, my advice is spend as much time at school as you can. I mean, school can suck, but maybe the work can give you something to focus on other than your situation at home, and at least you're around friends all day.

This may sound dumb, but have you tried talking to your dad an brother? Get spiritual with them, maybe they'll respect you a bit more if you point out how they seem to just shit on you all the time. Be honest but be polite about it when you talk to them. I like to think that most problems can be solved by talking about them (I bet every problem between people could be solved that way, except both sides need to believe that for it to work) If talking doesn't help at all, tell them to start pulling their own weight in chores, there's no reason you should be stuck doing everything.

Hang in there, once you get to college you'll have a chance to break free.