religion + shit

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >KnockKnock#2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.

 

I vote this the most shitty thread ever.

 

i second this movement

 

thats some repugnant shit bird

 

I'm too damn lazy to read allthat shit

 

i have to much time to read that shit, but won't read all that shit.

 

if you're too lazy to read the whole list i'll graciously show you my personal favourites:

Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

don't you feel like your iq is like so much higher now? OMFG

 

Shit happens, rama rama!

 

now i feel like i know my shit...

 

i can never get my shit together...I'm DOOMED....

 

hehe, thats funny...where did you get that from?

 

from a friend of a friend of a friend.. my da showed it to me originally.

 

It is one of those email-spams that everyone keeps getting and deleting without actually reading it.

 

lol... that's pretty funny... I oughta forward that to a few people...

 

I also heard one:


Catholicism: Shit happens, and I'm sorry.

 

that was some heavy shit

 

Their is too much shit going on in the world. Take the shit away , and we would all be better off , i am sure of it.


Whats that 'NO SHIT SHERLOCK' okay okay i was just giving you my shity point of view

 

I think a better title would've been 'religion = shit"

 

keep digging watson

 

Another one I heard for either nihilism or atheism is "Who gives a shit?" It was on a t-shirt my ex had.