Ive been taking lsd for now a year, and have found that large doses, I can't handle em walking around and just being. I had read about ego death, and experienced it or something like it tripping at a camping. Laying down, the visuals seemed to be starting to ''zip me in'' with them, about to come across me, (kinda threatening). I just did as you would do to fake being dead, and it kinda disingretated me, next thing I remember is floating in white light, and being aware of everything at the same time...I donnow, the intensity of the trip had dissapeared...I could kinda see myself smiling from the exterior and felt great pleasure. For me it became the purpose of lsd, the end of the game.... I am afraid of taking a similar or bigger dose to achieve this again...But was it even ''ego loss'' ? ... Can you reach such peace with a big dose??... Anyone used to such experiences, could you give me advice???
from what ive experenced that is not ego loss. pretending your dead. Some psycedelics give me more of an ego gain, like lsd. I get ego loss on shrooms alot easier. around 5grams or usually7 grams of potent shrooms. For me ego loss is when your tripping so hard, you forget who you are, what you are, and what a DRUG even is. I remember walking around looking at my hands and feet one time shrooming and wondering what the hell i was. i forgot my name. everyone kept on telling me your"ryan". but i was like, "RYan?, why do you call me that?" You pretty much forget everything that "you" "self" that is programmed in your mind and just exist. It can be a VERY intense and scarry experence, especially if your by yourself. after you come down though, you have more of an ego gain, learning/knowing about yourself more than before....hope that helps
I have never tried lsd but I have had ego loss with mushrooms 3 times. When this happens i forget where i am, what my name is, I can't speak or read, and i dont know that im on mushrooms. Its like being born again in a fully grown body not knowing anything about anything. It's very scary because it happens to me when i get lost on a high dose of mushrooms. Everything comes back to reality after you start to come down and then its a huge mind FUCK you sit there and just go what the fuck happened everytime
If you're up walking around you're not experiencing true "ego death." Ego death only occours when total dissociation from the physical world (body included) is imminent. At this point in inebriation, the subconscious is unable to provide complex motor commands to the skeletal/muscular systems. Once your ego is completely dissolved, all fears of the experience at-hand dissipiate, usually leaving the user with the all-consuming state of being one with entirety. After such experiences one may feel somewhat uncomfortable with the concept, however, has no reason to be afraid of attempting to regain that state of consciousness (which is, after all, the reason to trip!) Ego gain, on the otherhand, is the seperation of your subconscious mind into two (or sometimes more) seperate identities; sometimes this entity can be an entirely "different" complex personality, or sometimes it may merely be an incommunicative, emotionally-driven entity. This is what could be considered borderline split-personality disorder, or what most users refer to as "strange alien presence." It's important to pay attention to this new, temporary state of mind, for it is an amplified "chunk" of your ego. Remember that you will, by the end of the experience, be one person again. The experiences I've had with this state of being have been quite enlightening, however, I would consider this a much more dangerous state than ego-loss/ego-death.
well put... the "ego gain" experience you describe happens when the persisting normal ego disappears, and a new reality hidden in the mind replaces it. this can be very useful to a wise tripper and can be interpreted in a positive way. on the other hand, this is basically a temporary form of schizophrenia and if the person is unable to accept what is happening to them and reacts emotionally it can easily turn into the "plastic doll world" leary described, where the old ego suffers as it reacts to the new one. the ego loss state is one where no one reality exists as "true" to the individual, and realities relativity is percieved by a fully awake and aware, but not active, mind. this feeling of "one-ness" can't possible be described because it transcends verbal concepts, transcends everything. it is the experience of that-which-experiences, and once that happens there is no need/desire to do or say anything. at least thats how i see it
Thats' not what I was saying...I explained that I relaxed the most so i could to let happen what could happen (kind of surrendering, letting go of my relation with the trip)...And it happened...It was kinda liberating from the agony of the last seconds... after reading the psychedelic experience by timothy leary, I came to the conclusion that what it tells resembles to my experience...Recognizing the dawning light, laying down and attend illumination, a wave energy flow (supposedly the moment of ego loss), then youre free, you are somehow beyond the ego that keeps you from experiencing in my opinion, divinity. Lsd becomes a tool to obtain a very deep state of meditation. Maybe this leary stuff is all total bullshit , and I shouldt follow this cuckoo. Maybe im naive. I have only one friend who believes reaching this state is possible, we're all crazies for the others.
Yeah well im afraid to be overwhelmed by the trip before ego death, and end up missing the bus and being stuck in the consecutive out of body/in your body battle state i experienced once and was terrorised by it. TumbledownDNA, could you explain what the plastic doll world is??
Yea you have to be able to 'let go' or submit to it. Those who cling to their ego shouldn't even trip to begin with if you ask me. When I see egocentric people trip, they usually end up staying within their individual consciousness rather than submitting to the experience and becoming part of the collective consciousness. Shit just gets weird. I've noticed that people who cling to material possessions for comfort also reach a similar state when tripping. Ego dissolution is fucked up, it's sort of like experiencing everything and nothing at the same time. Oneness. You just have to sit back and be a part of this ever-flowing hallucination called life.
Hmm...well for me, the best part of the trip was when ego loss was accepted. Then, everything else was gained. Letting go is the hardest part, realizing your true spirit self the best part. I'm talking about: ego death is the awareness that your sense of self (me) is an illusion, but your consciousness is more full without the limitations of "me". Sorry, you can't understand it without experiencing it. Next time before you try a psychedelic, read Ram Dass's "BE Here Now", it really helped me make sense of what cant be explained. lol h.
hmm That's the kind of stuff I need to hear to become more self confident in my sort of quest. Rings a bell in my cortex.... thanx
To Grapefruity, Hey, no problemo. Consider this: you don't need drugs to be aware of your ego. To most folks, ego is what causes "I want..I need, I am a ....". But remember, an ego is a valuable thing in this life. We are spirits...but we do live on a material plane. To love yourself gives you a "heads-up" on loving others. Good luck on your quest. There are many like you. h.
A little change in my thinking since then: I now feel that what I used to think of as 'ego-death' is now the experience of having my child's heart back while at the same time the intelligence and clean mind of an adult. We all have the same hearts we did as children, but growing up it gets polluted by not being allowed to love freely. (I know this isn't precise, am trying to get close) Having a true heart like a child's makes one very loving to oneself. Love felt from ones self, it can not be given or accepted by others because its not about trust. Sorry if I sound preachy, I know nothing but any truths must stand alone without any notion of 'belief'. love all
I am sure about very little. P.s. Spicey Cat...I am sure I dig your cat image. pss...I like these beliefs (not necessary truths)... "We all receive what we search for, but our finds are not always what we thought they would be". and "The universe is seeking reconciliation...our evolving consciousness is but a symptom of this". Nothing becomes Something to All becoming nothing again.
