Overcoming depression...naturally?

I need some help. Well, rather, its not for me but for my boyfriend. He is going through a serious bout of depression right now, and I have run out of ideas on how to help him. He doesnt want to go to counseling (he tried that a few years ago and claims it didnt work...his experience was so bad that he is not willing to go back) and we cant afford prescription antidepressants. He doesnt want to be medicated anyways...which I think is ok because a lot of anti depressants can just complicate matters. So Im wondering what else there is to do.

A few years ago I went through two years of being severly depressed...but I cant remember what it was that brought me out of it. Is it just a cycle? Will he come through this on his own? I know everyone is different and copes in their own ways...but Im really worried. Its been months now that hes been sad...even the things he loves to do no longer hold any enjoyment. Ive tried improving our diets, exercising, meditation...nothing seems to work.

Im just at a loss. Its hard not to be affected by his mood either because I am so close to him (we live together with my family). Any suggestions will be welcome and greatly appreciated. Do I just need to give him time? More space? What helped you guys get through depression? Thanks, and much love.

 

some people (like me) cycle in and out of depressoin. It happens, it gets intense, then it dissipates. Other people struggle with it for years without it getting any better. It's hard to say what he'd be like

I would really suggest counselling again. Maybe you can meet with the counsellor before hand, make sure you find someone who's warm and fairly laid back. Some counsellors are great and some are useless as fuck. The first two I tried were truly awful, they basically told me to just think happy thoughts rather than the self hating, self destructive ones I was trying to deal with. Yeah, happy thoughts is gonna stop me from wanting to cut or kill myself. Really freakin useful.

most people can't just fix it on their own. professional help can really be teh appropriate solution. I do think that you screening them would help out though, to make sure he doesn't end up with a dickwad for a counsellor

 

Thank you so much for your suggestion Ihmurria. Counseling really helped me a lot too...I guess the challenge now is finding a counselor that he has a chance of connecting with.

 

a lot of times for mild to moderate depression, getting regular excercise, and doing yoga, meditation, etc...

as well as taking certain herbal supplements (google it)

and eating a diet of lots of fruit and veggies (organic), fresh water/non predatory fish 2 to 3 times a week (or a supp for the omega three's), enuf fiber and brown rice helps.

(as does avoiding white flour and sugar)

 

also, i would suggest/remind anyone that suffers from depression, espiecially females to get their thyroid checked.

and dont always accept the test results if they say the first time things are fine...esp. if you are young.... because sometimes the thyroid IS fine however so much work has to go into KEEPING it fine that there is hardly anything left over

 

All good suggestions - thyroid should always be suspected - The point about whom you do therapy with is a major thing. There are some real quacks out there - Doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, lay counselors, religious therapists etc. It makes so much difference when you have someone to talk to that you can relate to as a friend. That is much more important than what kind of paper they have hanging on their wall. Medications should be used only as a last resort. Then you should try to stick with the older cheaper drugs. We know more about them and most of the side effects have already turned up. If medication is needed it can be obtained free by a therapist who knows what their about. Many of the drug companies give away drugs - but they do not make it easy to find out about. That is where someone in the know comes in. The most important thing is not to accept depression - it is a problem to be fixed - not who you are.

 

increasing his level of fitness, getting more sunlight or vitamin D, having more power in his life, and believing in a higher power that helps him out would aid his mentaal state.

 

Thanks so much for the help. We are really trying to eat better and exercise more, and I can definitely see an improvement in him, although at this point Im not sure how permanent it is. Only time will tell...

And Im glad you mentioned the thyroid thing...it can be such a serious problem and most people dont even know about it! I myself suffer from hypothyroidism (Hashimotos disease...not sure how to spell it) and I have to constantly get my TSH, T3 and T4 levels checked because when my thyroid is out of balance I feel like utter crap. Its crazy how one gland can cause so many problems...

Thanks again.

 

yeah the thyroid gland is a very bizarre gland indeed.

 

Take him into your arms and coo to him.. :thumbup.

Seriously.

 

This is going to sound strange, but the best thing you can do for him is be there, but don't act like you pity him. Don't act like everything you do is to help him. Be fun. Be spontaneous. When he doesn't want to do something with you (lack of motivation, etc.), MAKE HIM. When I was depressed I was having a really really hard time because some people I felt I could confide in simply acted like I was someone who needed fixing. They kept trying new things to help me. Constantly, CONSTANTLY asking me to spill my guts to them. You could see this pitiful look in their eyes every time they spoke to me. Their heads cocked to the side and their mouths turned down when they said "how are you?" It was so annoying and it only made me feel more worthless. But I had this roommate, Scott. He would come in my room at night and say "come on Christy, let's go for a drive. Every stop sign or light, one of us picks a direction and we'll get completely lost." Or he would bring dinner home for me and build a fort and we would eat under it. He was the only person who didn't feel sorry for me. It really helped me a lot.

 

Everything everyone has posted has been very good advice. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety as well for almost 6 years now. I tried counseling-hated it...I tried the meds and hated them as well. Basically it was time and a lot of inner struggle.
Perhaps there is a main reason to his depression? For me it was a mix of just being depressed for no real reason and part of it was due to one specific issue I had been holding inside...once I opened up to someone about it I started to slowly realize what it was I needed to do to help myself. For a while I didnt want to fix it, I held onto my sadness like my life depended on it, which made no sense, but I felt a certain level of comfort when I cried and felt like crap.
ALSO, I'm sure people may disagree with me on this, but I am speaking from my own personal experience...eating mushrooms helps me A LOT. I am not talking about eating a bunch and trippin like crazy, God knows I dont want to do that ever again, but I'm talking about eating a small amount. Every now and then my boyfriend and I will buy 1/8 and not even eat half each. Not even enough to have visuals. We will wait for a beautiful sunny day and just go for a nice walk together or just go to one of our favorite spots around here and talk for a while and its just so uplifting. It takes away all of our anxiety we are feeling from life and opens up our mind and helps us figure some things out we are struggling with. We use it as a healing process...kinda like therapy without having to answer to a stranger in a small room. I dont know you or your boyfriend, so maybe this isnt right for you but I had to share because it helps me out very much. Good luck with everything. I'm sure all will work out...

 

Give him a nice long loving massage! have you considered things like reiki? or some kind of energy work? to maybe clear some blocks or negative vibrations??
I definately agree with silly angel..make him do things with you..it's seems impossible to pull out of it yourself with such low motivation when you're depressed...you sound like a really great person for him. keep having faith.

 

Hardcore weight training. His T levels could be low.

 

I agree with Iron goth on this one. if he weight trains alone, he'll be able to push his limmits, improve himself, and get some exercise. Serriously, there is a lot he could gain

 

No, I'm talking about biochemistry, not motivation.

 

While depression does have to do with biochemistry, that isn't something you can fix without fixing mental, emotional, and spiritual issues first. Your body and your mind are connected. You can't fix one without the other.

 

IronGoth, I agree with biochemisry, but I feel there are other benifits from weight lifting that could assist the depressed people of the world.

 

i know it may seem rather silly but i keep a "happy" blog. i write about anything ridiculous, silly, happy..........just "up" things........and when i'm feeling down, i read though them and it does seem to help a bit.