We're gonna pull our son from soccer. (Four years old, almost) He's OK with kicking the ball and running with it, but he does NOT like taking the ball from other kids or one-on-one drills in which you have to get the ball first and score in the other kid's net - in other words, there is a loser and a winner. As in, doesn't like it at all. He's a sensitive little kid and to him the idea of taking a ball away or doing something confrontational is against who he is. We DO want him to be active and amongst other kids, but there's no sport I can think of that doesn't involve having to be aggressive and taking something from someone else. What to do...
why not involve him in martial arts? There is no loser or winner. He just learns to hone his own abilities and become a balanced person. Or swimming, while there is still a winner and a loser, it's not so actively agressive. And in youth swimming, they focus more on learning skills than actual competition.
Awww bless him, the world needs more caring souls. Totally agree about swimming lessons. My brother is a senstive soul and crap at sports, but he loved those. That and swimming is a great life skill.
He sounds a lot like my oldest son (he will be 6 years old in less than a month). He has no interest in sports, doesn't like the whole brutal aggression it entails. He's more of an artistic little guy, much to the dismay of my athletic side of the family. And he's a total mama's boy. He's much more happy snapping pictures and he's pretty darn good at it for such a young age. He really had a good eye. He also loves drawing, he's a little artist. I figure we'll focus on his creative interests, and let him do what makes him happy. My side of the family actually COMPLAIN right in front of him, asking him why won't he go out for basketball, or football, or baseball. Then they get on his case when he can't catch a ball (he ducks instead of catching). They pressure him, I swear. They've even made comments saying at least Sylas (my younger son) will be into sports. My younger son IS actually more of an athletic type, but geez, not all kids are alike and it's unfair to compare, you know? ESPECIALLY right in front of the child. It really angers me. Anyway, sorry for my rant. Sounds like you've got a great son, and maybe you should just follow his lead, see what interests him and get him involved in some type of activity pertaining to it. It doesn't have to be sport related, right? I think too many times boys are forced into sports because it's the "manly" thing to do. It's as if it defines how macho a male is. It shouldn't be that way. Offer him some suggestions for new things to try, and see what he has to say.
RE: why not involve him in martial arts? Too violent. Though he isn't interested in conflict, he's not old enough yet to put two and two together that swan diving onto my wife from the futon will hurt her. The thing about swimming is, we were hoping to find something that'd get him involved in teamwork. Therein lies the rub. Too bad there's nothing physical, team-oriented, that doesn't involve trying to conquer, beat, get one over on or otherwise make losers out of someone else. RE: Anyway, sorry for my rant. Sounds like you've got a great son, and maybe you should just follow his lead, see what interests him He REALLY likes basketball when it comes to throwing a ball at a net. Thing is, he's likely to give the ball to the next nearest kid so he can have a turn, too. So as soon as it leaves the throwing the ball aspect and gets to the stealing the ball/guarding the goal stage he'll get really sad and refuse to play that, too. RE: And he's a total mama's boy Thing is, mine isn't. In fact, if another kid gets in his face and tries to interfere with him or with another kid, that kid is getting shoved to the ground, though he obviously doesn't like having to do it. Then he lets it drop. He is active, he enjoys running around and doing things. That's why we put him in sports. He's a dab hand at drawing, too (for his age) but he obviously enjoys, greatly, the kicking the ball/throwing the ball/hitting the ball type stuff. It falls apart for him as soon as you have to do it at the expense of someone else. What to do...
Maybe gymnastics or tumbling. You expel lots of energy and at that age there is no competition. Not really a "team" sport, but he'll be in one group of kids all doing the same thing. Maybe golf? Maybe bowling? Ice skating? If you limit yourself/hiself to team sports only, you're going to run into a brick wall. You've got to keep an open mind. He's only 4, there's plenty of time to expose him to the "team" aspects of the athletic world.
maybe he's too young for organized sports? He's only three years old, he shouldn't be playing competetively. martial arts doesn't have to be violent, there's always tai chi. or dance?
What about hiking? You don't have to go far. But it might be a lot of fun for a kid to go hiking with you or one of the parents and some friends. Or roller skating- my little cousin used to take roller skating and ice skating lessons and he loved it.
maybe at four years, he really is too young for sports like that! Maybe wait until he is about six, and can distinguish better between taking balls away in an organized sport, and taking balls away to be mean.
yeah, there's also baseball. teamwork and less agression at that age. i pretty much consider it a requisite of preschool, even if it is boring.
They have a kids aerobic's class at the gym my grandma goes to. It's really cute. Maybe they have something like that near you?
IronGoth, you're completely misguided about Martial Arts. They teach discipline, respect, honour, working together, as well as DEFENSE. It's not a violent sport. When you're a little kid, especially, you more often are taught stances and kicks (which are directed at a punching bag, not someone else). Children that go through martial arts tend to be LESS violent than those children that are put into team sports. Look into one of your local martial arts schools. Talk with a teacher and see how he describes the arts. I'm sure he'll just repeat what I've told you and add a bit more detail.
two weeks and my prac is over and we are going to circus class! not sure if you have anything like that there but I figure it's lots of activity with skills and in a fun environment....and if I'm lucky she will run away and join a circus and take me with her!! same age as your little one and I can imagine that drawng a line between game and life is still a bit hard for somene this age so why go there till they can define those differences....no rush!
RE: They teach discipline, respect, honour, working together, as well as DEFENSE. I'm not misguided about martial arts. I've studied Wing Chun, Jiu Jitsu, Aikido, and some aspects of Krav Maga for years. I've seen a lot of arrogant assholes who like to bully kids running classes - but that's not my biggest concern about that - my concern is that just as my son decided to take flying leaps off the futon after gymnastics classes, he might also decide in his naivete to practice his shurokata no smackafacea punch around other people.
if he's too young to know when to NOT practice what he learns in class, be it martial arts or gymnastics, maybe he is TOO YOUNG to be in organised sports at all...Maybe you should take it down a notch until he's older and better equipped to handle himself and others.
how about the playground? I have never seen so much energy expended, diplomatc rows over swings resolved, skills learnt and general fun and mayhem as when watching my little one scramble herself senseless running round and round following bigger kids, learning the dynamics of it all...playgrounds rock actually!!
If he enjoys every aspect of team sports besides the competition...I really believe you should give it another shot and just explain it to him. It doesn't seem fair that he can't do what he enjoys because he is in a constant state of worry about who he might be "hurting". I don't know. I'd really just explain it to him. "Competition can be fun...it's more exciting for the other players when you're going against each other with the ball"...etc.
well, we've got kai in gymnastics and it seems to suit her very well. it's athletic, active, team- oriented, and the kids all encourage each other.
